On February 1st 2008, my wife informed me that she was going to file for divorce. That was the day I died inside. Being dependent upon her for 35 years and then suddenly ripping herself from me was devastating. After a few weeks she reconsidered and told me she would work with me through the spring and summer in an attempt to reconcile. That was a life saver at the time. Things went well for a month, and then she went to Texas for her nephew's wedding. When she got back she told me that she was going to go ahead and divorce me. I didn't put two and two together at that point so I continually took the blame for the failure to no avail. As time passed, I told her it was okay to begin to date. She had told myself and my two grown daughters that there wasn't another man involved, but her new friend wasn't new at all. The man had lost his wife two years prior and she took it upon herself to "help" him. I didn't know at the time, but he had given her several "gifts" of jewelry to "thank" her for her compassion and help. What became obvious to me as the reason she wanted the divorce,(besides my responsibility) was when I was to go to my son's 10th birthday party. She decided to ban me from being there and instead, with the okay from my daughters, she invited her "friend" to come instead. To make a long story shorter, 3 months after our divorce was finalized, they got married. During the time after the divorce was finalized, I started having problems with my right foot and went to the VA Medical Center. I was told that my right toe was dying due to gangrene caused by Diabetes or some other reason. It finally progressed until a month after her wedding, I had my right leg amputated not once but twice. Two weeks after the first surgery, which was below the knee, I overdosed on the prescribed medication due to an interaction of two pain drugs, where I succumbed to renal failure and almost died. After two weeks it became obvious to the doctors that the first operation wasn't working. I then had another surgery to amputate above the knee. For the next year I met with a psychiatrist and psychologist with very little relief, but then in December 2009, it seemed as though something clicked and things fell a little bit more into place and I was released from a VA Homeless Veterans Transitional Housing Program that I was in and moved back to my small hometown where my three children and 9 grandchildren and, my ex-wife live. As of this moment, I have had much exposure to my ex and it seems that the things that I felt were going to kill me, now were tolerable. As a matter of fact, my ex invited me to their home on Christmas to watch my son open his presents from me and have brunch. Since then there's been contact on a frequent basis and although there were things done by both of them as far as infidelity, I've been able to set those things aside and become very amiable to both. Yes, it's difficult and there's still much pain and probably will be pain for a long time, but I can manage things that I never thought that I could. I don't really know if this a bore or not but I'm putting this into words, not so much for someone else, but mainly for myself.
p.s. There should be no misunderstanding that I'm suggesting complete innocence in my wife's dissatisfaction with our marriage.
Franco8274 Forum Posts (37)
RE: OUT OF MY LEAGUE!!!
Said the beautiful woman from California.(out of my league)