To my spanish honey, you mean the world to me, I hope you know how often I think of you. I love your mind and your indepeandant streak, your kindness and intimacy.
1. Subversives - Lowest of the Low 2. Down Together - Refreshments 3. Wrap your arms around me - Barenaked Ladies 4. Pull - Blind Melon 5. Dark Angel - Blue Rodeo
1. The Aclhemist - Paulo Choelo 2. The Shipping News - E. Annie Proulx 3. Generation X - Douglas Coupland 4. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote 5. Full Woman, Fleshy Apple, Hot Moon - Selected Poems of Pablo Neruda
I feel down. I don't want to say depressed because it's not the same. I am in one of those moods where I am looking back on my life to see what I, if anything, I have done that is of any consequence or importance. I realize it's all a matter of relativity. I haven't receieved any awards for what I do and I never will. I would like to think that some of my personal stories will entertain my kids one day. But I know someone out there likes me and wants me to be happy. I always wonder if my best intentions are what keep me from moving on. Though many may disagree, I think I am not selfish enough with my time. I always give a friend my time when they need to vent or talk about things that bother them, I just seem to find I don't get asked how I feel or how I'm doing often enough. I have lost someone very close to me and I make sure I ask someone how they are doing. I want the people I love to know I love them. In the end I don't mind if they don't ask me how I'm doing, I know I'm doing ok. There are many people far worse off than I am, I have a good life in the end, but is it wrong to keep wanting more than what you have and better than what you've done? I guess we all have our bad days, this is one of mine. In the end, it's not so bad, is it? Thanks for anyone who read this rant and I hope those who skipped past it when it wasn't a funny post have a great day.
Tattoos aren't a big deal for me. Just so long as they are tasteful and mean something to her. If she had a big tattoo of an ex boyfriend on her back, well, that would be hard to accept. But let's say it were her kids, that's fine.
I have to admit, I like walking around without my shirt on. I don't have the body for it and that is why I only do it at home. But a comfy pair of pants or shorts, nice warm apartment.
I guess the lady in question has read what I have said on here. She was hurt by it and I want to let her and everyone else know that I didn't mean to be disrespectful, so if there is anythig I said that anyone, especially her, takes offence to then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I was just venting and I tried to be careful with my words. I hope she is happy and I still wish her well. I think she is still an amazing person.
Vixen: thank you. In the end it was still worth it. For the breif time I did chat with her and spend time with her, she's a very bubbly and cheerful person. The way it ended was harsh, but you're right, there is nothing I can do. I won't hold any bitter resentment, but wish her well.
Vixen: It's terrible to think that someone would do that. It's hard to know who to trust, but I really, really hope that nothing bad happened and you just felt hazy for a little while. I will be here if you need to chat.
It's the first time I really opened my heart up to someone in a couple years, I wasn't expecting her to be "The One" and we all get hurt, it's part of the dating experience. As much as it sucks and we don't want it to happen, it make being with the right one so much better. It's not the end of the dating, I will just take some time to heal, chat with all you good people on here and at some point feel ready to try again. Thank you for the support and kind words.
Wikked: I am sorry you had to see your grandfather go through that. I know there are forms of depression that cannot be overcome by the things I suggested. I can't imagine being like that, it makes me apprecitate my small bouts of depression much more.
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RE: Say something special to the person you like, no need to mention their name :)
All I can do is let her know how I feel...she's an amazing woman who I want the best for, even if it isn't me.