IF you weren't feeling OK ?? you will be feeling SO MUCH better now !!!!!
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused , Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' (your gonna luv this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, this old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are.......)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
Hi, great minds think alike! check out my post!! I also follow a strict 12-Step Chocolate Program - At any time, I'm only 12 steps away from my favorite chocolate!!
MOTHER is a word called LOVE And all the world is mindful of The love that's given and shown to others Is different from THE LOVE OF MOTHERS... For Mothers play the leading roles In giving birth to little souls, For though 'small souls' are heaven-sent And we realize they're only lent, It takes a Mother's loving hands And her gentle heart that understands To mould and shape this little life And shelter it through storm and strife… No other love than MOTHER LOVE Could do the things required of The one whom God gives the keeping Of His wee lambs, awake or sleeping, So Mothers are a 'special race' God sent to earth to take His place, And MOTHER is a lovely name That even SAINTS are proud to claim.
Helen Steiner Rice
Motherhood
The dearest gifts that heaven holds, The very finest, too, Were made into one pattern That was perfect, sweet, and true; The Angels smiled, well-pleased, and said: "Compared to all the others, This pattern is so wonderful Let's use it just for Mothers!" And through the years, a Mother Has been all that's sweet and good For there's one bit of God and love, In all true Motherhood.
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway
-but the Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read . Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 .. If you haven't, add 1758.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.
Eat More Veggies "Raising animals for food uses enormous amounts of land, water, grain and fuel. Every year in the United States alone, 80 percent of all agricultural land, half of all water resources, 70 percent of all grain, and one-third of all fossil fuels are used to raise animals for food."
Share ideas and thoughts for Earth Day. I'll go first. I believe low/middle income invented recycle/reduce/reuse! I reuse mesh onion bags as scouring pads!
An Easter Prayer Helen Steiner Rice God, give us eyes to see the beauty of the Spring, And to behold Your majesty in every living thing - And may we see in lacy leaves and every budding flower The Hand that rules the universe with gentleness and power - And may this Easter grandeur that Spring lavishly imparts Awaken faded flowers of faith lying dormant in our hearts, And give us ears to hear, dear God, the Springtime song of birds With messages more meaningful than man's often empty words Telling harried human beings who are lost in dark despair - 'Be like us and do not worry for God has you in His care'.
I can have both! I choose the clean cut nice guy, the hair can always grow out and there's always a little bit of bad just waiting to escape that I could probably tap into
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
I've been told 3 things start to go as one ages. The first is the memory, I can't remember the other two! so, if I repeat any of my jokes, I really don't remember what I sent, honestly, and I'm standing by it!
Forever an optimist! You just need to find the right partner and treat eachother right. The ones who don't treat you right, don't matter; and the one(s) that do, matter the most.
Grandfather, Look at our brokenness. We know that in all creation Only the human family Has strayed from the Sacred Way. We know that we are the ones Who are divided And we are the ones Who must come back together To walk the Sacred Way. Grandfather, Sacred One, Teach us love, compassion, and honor That we may heal the earth And heal each other.
windsong8 Forum Posts (45)
Kermit Jagger.......
IF you weren't feeling OK ?? you will be feeling SO MUCH better now !!!!!A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused , Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' (your gonna luv this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, this old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are.......)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
Have a lovely day. . .. .