I knew I had issues I needed to deal with before I got serious with someone again, or they would end up destroying the new relationship. Therefore I chose to take care of those issues beforehand, so that I wouldn't hurt someone because of it. I was hoping to be able to get serious with him, so I quickly decided to take care of my issues and make my move, for him as well as me. Make better sense? Sorry, I've been told I can be cryptic...
Interresting opinion. Of course, my previous marriage was hurt by my regret over not being able to move, and my grandparents are ailing, so I wanted to take care of them. So in my mind, I made my move on behalf of whoever I ended up with in the end, hoping it'd be him. He knew that.
You're right on. All we can ever do is our best. Now, I know some parents that should be shot for the way they've treated their children, but those children aren't going to do anything possitive for themselves or "get back at" their parents if the hold it against them for the rest of their lives. The only thing that will make a difference regarding the hurt they feel is to forgive their parents and move on. I've seen miracles happen where the forgiveness bug has bitten.
I thank everyone for their advice. after reading one guy's interpretation of it (the guy who typed my quotes in red)I realized I didn't proofread it as well as I should have and I see where you got that I thought he should come running and drop everything. I wasn't actually saying that. I never told him he should leave everything he knew. (He's renting his house, btw). I said I wish he would come with me, yes. But he wished I would stay.
He knew I needed to go for myself, that I had regrets and things I needed to do, and he's going to support my decision to go. He said he's not the kind of guy who's going to tell me he can't live without me and beg me to come back.
I don't think he did anything wrong, my family kind of does. My question was more of wether I should try to move on, find someone up here, or plan on reserving that side of my life and plan to one day go back. I know it's a decision only I can make, but I like to hear other people's perspectives. Sometimes there's a line of thought I would have never seen otherwise. I'll make my decision, and you can give me your opinion. Deal?
Ok, so I've been hearing from family that the man of my dreams was wrong to feel the way he did. I recently relocated back to my home state because of several personal reasons and unfinished business, and the man I was seeing wasn't willing to come with me. I understood that, he has a good job, a great house, he's built his life where he was. He wasn't ready for a commitment either, so I wasn't able to pin down a time for my return, if ever. That made it impossible in his eyes to stay together, as there is now an entire state and then some between us. Therefore, tho he loves me and I adore him, he wants us to split. He said he considders it on hold, as he'd be willing to take it up again if I decided to go back.
My question is, some have said that if he loves me enough, he should go out of his way to make sure we're together, even if it means begging me to go back. I know him, and that's not him. I wouldn't love him as much if he wasn't who he is, so I'm not faulting him. Who's right? Should I give up on him cause he "doesn't love me enough to be selfish", or keep my feelings for him alive somewhere inside me because he's amazing?
ainegirl Forum Posts (7)
Relocation, relationship "on hold"...
Thanks.