We have not entered a 'Pre-Nup' agreement. It is simply a statement of assets, what happens and money each of us has, including pensions.
It can be amended at any time, should the cicumstances change. If we have a child and I am rather hoping we do, then the initial agreement will not change, that still remains, only our wills will change because there are more people to leave assets to.
Good luck though with your agreement and all the best for your future.
Ours says nothing of the sort. About walking away with anything.
Our states that we came into the partnership with, we leave with. in the event of the relationship ending. Anything accumulated during the partnership will be split equally. Nowhere does it mention what cannot happen. Only what will happen.
I think what is wrong is that single mothers have a stigma attached to them. I am British and I know what name they have in the UK and I certainly know what name they have in the US.
My girlfriend is the mother of a child. The father is not in her son's life, never has been, not likely to be in the near future. However, we are prepared should that happen.
I certainly would not be with a woman who had an array of children with different men. I see that as irresponsible, sad though that often women are the ones left to deal with the raising of a child.
James has made some very good points here, certainly he has been forthright with his views, but he has made some very good points. Single mothers do feel that they are penalised because they have children in the dating arena. Their finances may be strained, because they are not working, they may have had their education curtailed because of pregnancy and they may be stuck in a cycle for years and unable to move from that grid of feeling stuck. Some of them, and we are talking about single mothers, so it seems futile to come in and say we cannot say that about just single mothers, because that is the topic are downright lazy and certainly do not help themselves.
My girlfriend has certainly had it easy compared to some. Straight away, she has never called herself a 'single mother' She has never once complained, chased the father for child support, her belief was if he wanted to contribute he would, why chase him for it. She has worked the system well, used all resources for childcare that she could and while she did not have masses of disposable income, she ran a lovely home and was able to work, own a car, have a holiday once a year and pay her mortgage and bills. She worked since her son was six weeks old.
I would not have dated a woman that was sitting on her backside all day, while her children were at school, watching daytime tv. I would not have dated a woman who felt that she should have some kind of medal because she was a single mother and listened to drivel about how tough it is being alone. It would not have interested me in the slightest. My girlfriend does not deserve a medal,she has done what any other responsible woman would do, raise a child and provide for that child to the best of her ability.
My dating days are over, but I would not date a single mother, I would date a woman who was responsible, able to manage her finances, intelligent and able to hold a conversation. TAhe fact that she has children is irrelevant.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Yes, they are important, certainly to me. I am not getting married, but we are to live together at the end of May.
We have had an agreement drawn up, she has property that she is letting out, she also has a child and she has to protect him and herself. I would want her to do nothing less.
Everything is clear, if we split up there would be no need for fighting over assets. We both know where we stand and what each of us will receive in the event of death/parting. This will be amended once we have children together, accordingly.
Most people in the UK, are busy giving directions.
Ever asked a Brit for directions or told them you're leaving for a three hour drive? Most Americans can do this without fuss.
Brits are Brits! Americans are Americans. As a Brit living in America, I do see many differences between the two cultures.
Spiritual? I don't think you're far off the mark there. Americans are deeper within their own thoughts than the Brits, who have that 'dust it off, pick yourself up and get on with it attitude' Which is what I like. They are blunt, kind, diverse and have a sense of humour that is second to none.
The Brits have a great way of looking at life, pragmatic, straight to the point and up front. While I live in the US, I do miss how the Brits laugh among themselves, despite what is going on in the world. They laugh, they sing, they are spiritual overtly, Americans intorvertly.
Spirituality comes from within. Being at peace with oneself, being able to handle being alone, and not feel lonely. Something which I found hard to do, years past. I crashed from one relationship to another and the ladies I dated were walking on broken glass all the time. I took time out from women, from relationships and settled alone. Once the emotional turmoil had left me, I began to look inside and realize that I was a mess. This took some picking apart. I read about meditation and silence. That was hard, to remain silent for three hours, with nothing other than my own thoughts. I now feel at peace, am tranquil and I found the energy and substance to love again. I had to mend some bridges with my mother, my sister and I was able to do that, as they forgave some terrible behavior on my part. I wanted to have relationships that would fulfill me, not use people for my yearnings. Religion did not feature in my recovery, but I religiously studied myself.
This I have now, complete peace. At the age of 30, I am now coming into what I truly want from my life and this sense of calm I can only call spirituality. It means to me, that I am now able to be a provider, as in a safe secure home, a person by my side, I can have gret relationships with my niece, my mother and my friends and my girlfriend.
I do thin women have more choices and I would hazard a guess, that women are pushing the figures up. Women are more independent, have more money and are not at home any longer. I thin a woman is more likely to leave a marriage than a man is.
I also am not bashing, I think you have raised an excellent point there.
I was in Cambodia last year and there was unerving amount of love within family units that rarely exists in the Western world.
Greed and gluttony, marketing, 24 hour news to mention a few and that too many people are also getting married.
Although kissmedeeply has it right, she was mature enough to understand what she wanted along with her husband and of course, that must be cherished and not criticised.
Back in our grandparents generation families lived closer to each other and were not allowed to step out of line, mother's would make sure daughters remained in marriages, as divorce was seen as an embarrasment. The vows were taken so much more seriously. My grandmother and grandfather were married for over 60 years and he drove her nuts as she did him, but they could not part, that is not to say they were unhappy, but they had their problems. And of course people did not talk so much as they do nowadays.
It is the fact that so many people are up in arms, complain about the British justice system and then complain when a person is punished harshly.
No and not a copper and I wondered how long it would be before a person would mention the lack of photo. Which I believe is not against the rules. Unless things have changed here over the last couple of years.
Oh well, I shan't be crying about people disagreeing with me. I work in a setting where people disagree with myself and my colleagues and we all survive.
Like when NY was blasted with snow in February, there were reports that screamed 'New York hit by snow storms'
We had some wind, some snow and it was gone in a day.
Frankly, I am not in the least bit concerned about her sentence, but the reaction here is laughable. The horror of a poor old woman being tagged. And dear oh lord, she cannot look after her grandchildren because of her curfew. The woman broke the law, hence my point had she sold alcohol to a minor, the press, message boards would have been up in arms about what she did.
But she only sold a goldfish, is what I am reading. When as a pet shop owner, she should have been versed on the law regarding selling animals to minors.
Basically, because it is seen as a minor crime, then there is outcry at the punishment.
It has changed. I have not been here for two years, and I can see a change. Although I would put that down to me changing as a person too, rather than blaming the place I visit.
I do see a difference in threads, there are not the ones such as Bodeling posted a link to as before. Although I am willing to not be too unforgiving at this point, I do see some 'old faces' still here, you included.
There are so many polls I notice. People also seem wary of each other.
She gives up her job, her home (although we are renting it out) and she moves here with me.
I am very happy indeed, two years it has taken for us to get to know each other, visits, talking, making love and for me to realise that the empty pillow next to me will soon be graced with her presence permamently.
Chemistry has to be up there for me. It could be the way she talks, laughs, a smile. The way she puts her lipstick on. Communication skills are important, I like communication, a person that can hold a conversation. I can be attracted to a person by what they write, what they write about. This tells me a lot about a person. Humor is important, and in keeping with the poll, a person that is financially responsible.
It is not the site that works, it is the people it brings together that make it work. I know of two couples from this site, who have met and are still happily together.
Jaywim Forum Posts (40)
RE: Why ?
Isn't that what they are they for?To read?