I recently met the love of my life whom is 11 years my senior. I love him sooo much and though I was skeptical about the age topic before meeting him I now know that age matters little when it comes to the desires of the heart.
I recently had an issue with a liar I met in chat. Lied to me about everything, dodged all the questions I asked when confronted him about the lies. My intuition told me about a few weeks into the relationship that most everything he said to me was a lie. I caught him up in a few. Had proof and he still denied it. The guy is a loser and I believe he is just insecure. He finally put his photos up and although looks aren't that important to me.. let's just say he is a double bag-er who is ugly inside and out. My conclusion is that he was insecure about how he looked and who he is. Anyone who would lie about their affections to someone that they know is falling in love is just malicious. I can't wait to see him get his 'come up-ins'
A blond and brunette roomies are sat watching the evening news. They were broadcasting about a man on top of the building with a negotiator trying to talk the man down. The brunette turns to the blond and goes, "I bet you 20 dollars he jumps." The blond nods, "Okay, it's a bet." They watch as the man jumps to his death. The blond pays the brunette.
The brunette a bit later starts feeling mighty guilty about taking the blonds money. So, she approaches the blond, "I'm sorry, but I can't take your money." The brunette hands back the money. "I watched the broadcast this morning, it was a repeat and I knew the man was going to jump." The blond shakes her head and hands the money back. "You won that money fair and square. I saw the broadcast too this morning, and didn't think he would jump again."
Your advice is REALLY helping and I am grateful for your input! I am for sure not throwing it to the wayside. I am very flattered that people here at least think it has potential.
I don't want to make it about his disability. Our relationship was never about that. It mattered little to me that he was crippled. I love(d) him as he was and it had nothing to do with low self esteem. I wasn't popular in school and I was bullied, but in all honesty I didn't know about his disability until months after talking to him online. He kept it a secret, because he was afraid of how I would react. I was a bit shocked, but I had already fallen for him.
Yes, I have already starting looking into self publishing. Figured that would be the way to go. I have a long way before I need to think about publication I'm afraid. :( I think I'm in way over my head here.
I thought the law was once you write something it automatically becomes copyrighted? I still am unsure about this if there is anyone who could tell me differently? I have looked it up and I suppose the internet isn't always the most reliable resource.
I appreciate the advice and feedback. I have been thinking the same thing actually. I have had some others who have read all that I have (about 8 chapters rough drafted so far) They all say I need to be more personal. I'm still unsure how to go about doing so without going off track on the point. I'll have to work on that.
Where in the Midlands are you from? I saw most of the area while visiting.
So, would I be going off track if I went back to the start and write about how I wasn't very popular or nice looking in high school.. That I never had dates or anything until I met him? Is that something the reader might want to know?
No, it's not that. Just that I'm not a writer so I shouldn't be writing? Anyhow, I'm not how to proceed with this.. I'm told I shouldn't post anymore? I figure the law states once something is written it automatically becomes copyrighted.. so, any suggestions?
I suppose it is easy to put feeling into a memoir. It is an account of experiences that make up who you are. The words are flying from my head across the keyboard quite easily. I appreciate your encouragement.
Yes, I know it needs work. I'm not posting the entire piece here. I suppose I just want to know if anyone would read a memoir about someone else and the trials and tribulations they have gone through for love. I've had many friends say I should write my story, that they think it is good. Just, I'm not a writer by any means. If I wrote this I'd never write anything again. So, I don't really care to LEARN how to write and make it a career. I do like the idea of perhaps getting this work published as I think people would read and relate to it.
I am wanting to go somewhere with this, so I can take the brutal honesty. I know it needs work and I'm wanting feedback so I can change the things that don't work. I haven't taken a writing class and I am not an English major. I just want to tell a story from the heart and hope that it is something others would enjoy reading.
With a final kiss and embrace I watched him disappear behind the security check point. I was stood there, forced to face my mundane life once more without him by my side in a physical sense. It was a depressing thought. On the five hour drive back home I forced myself to sleep. I knew I didn’t want to be awake to think about how he wasn’t there to hold me and whisper; “It will be alright my love.” That first evening back home in my place was an empty one. My heart ached like nothing I had ever felt before. I could feel him everywhere, but couldn’t at all. I wandered around the place looking at a glass he had drank from, sat on my kitchen counter. I laid fully dressed on my bed for a hour, crying for my aching heart before I decided I couldn’t stay. Luckily my grandma whom I am close and share many details of my feelings and life lived only 10 miles away from town. I remember going into her room where she laid in bed reading. I curled up at the foot and poured out all the hurt I was feeling. My grandma listened as I cried and spoke of him lovingly. I stayed at my grandparent’s house that night and every night after for a few months. I would only go to my own place to get clothes and feed my rabbit. Being there was a constant reminder that he was no longer with me. That I was alone. After a few months of literally living at my grandparent’s house I moved back in with my parents. It seemed silly to continue paying rent at a place I was rarely in. Not only that at the time I had no computer to speak of, so being at my grandparent’s house meant I could communicate with him over the messenger service we used. I ghosted through my life. Went to work, slept very little, and devoted all my time and effort into keeping in touch with him. It was exhausting. Especially the crying. I would cry until there were no more tears left and only sobs would come. It was a difficult time, but only one of many to come.
Our first intimate encounter took a bit of seduction on my part. With his twisted back he was extremely shy about letting me see him naked. I had to convince him it wasn’t about that. I didn’t care what his physical appearance was. I didn’t push him, but I wanted him to feel entirely comfortable with who he was in body as well as mind. We started slow. First it was getting him used to letting me view his naked body. This was a bit necessary since my shower was a step up and into kind. His right leg lacked any strength and due to his crooked back his balance wouldn’t allow for him to get in on his own. My heart was torn as I looked upon his scarred and deformed body the first time. It wasn’t pity I felt. I was angry. Angry that life would do something to such a kind and loving man. Angry at the doctors who sliced him beyond repair. I could tell that he was embarrassed by his appearance that he felt ugly even. I stayed with him and didn’t let my eyes drop or ever make him think I may have changed his mind after looking upon him. I lovingly washed his back and hair as I talked to him. I could tell that by the end of that first shower he was confident in my feelings for him. I can’t quite be sure, but I figure that it was then he completely fell in love with me. I did not judge him. That was important. Weeks into the visit we felt comfortable with each other and made love for the first time. Intimate details are a very private matter to me. I will not go into specific details, but when he touched and moved in me my whole body felt alive and tingled as if millions of tiny sparks were setting off inside of me. My heart would have burst from my chest had I no ribs or skin to hold it in place. The emotions during those private and most intimate moments were lost from any words. He was the first person I had ever given myself to. It felt completely right. Between the intimate moments and the emotional ones my heart was on a roller coaster ride from the moment we saw each other. It was very bittersweet. The thrill of falling in love and being with him had me on a high. As if nothing could ever be wrong in my life again. My thoughts would stray at night in the dark while laid in his arms with my head on his chest as he would stroke my hair, holding me close. I would get a deep sense of loss. Like I would never feel the way I did with him after he left. I cried a lot those nights. He would comfort me the best he could. “It will be alright my love.” he would whisper softly. No matter how much he said it I couldn’t believe anything would ever be alright in my life if he weren’t by my side. I would succumb to rivers of tears. I don’t think there was a night that went by after that second week I didn’t give into it. Naturally the time came to an end and he had to leave me and return home. I had asked my Uncle and his fiancé at the time if they wouldn’t mind driving us to the airport. I knew my emotions wouldn’t have gotten us there safely. It was a wise decision as I spent most of the time curled up in his arms crying softly so I wouldn’t be heard by the others. I spent every moment I could with him. Up to the point where he had to board the plane. By that point even he was crying and clinging to me. We had found what most people search their entire lives for and it felt to me at least that we were cheated of doing anything about it due to the vast ocean between us.
Those six weeks were amazing ones. At the time I worked as a certified nurse’s assistant at the local nursing home. Work at the time seemed to drag on forever. Eight hours without being by his side was frustrating. I would rush home on my lunch break just to spend fifteen minutes with him. I squeezed as much time out of the visit as I could. We would stay up playing cards while talking or just snuggle up on the couch with candles lit, playing music softly in the back round. We were always talking about the moment. How surreal it all was to finally be in each other’s arms and to feel so complete. On my days off we would visit my family and friends who all lived about a hour away. My family liked him well enough and got along with him. My friends were surprisingly more critical then my family. My best friend didn’t care for him. Perhaps more for the fact he lived so far away and was afraid I would eventually go away and she would no longer have her best friend about. I also knew her being far more shallow and picky than me couldn’t see past his disability the way I did. It was while he was here I turned twenty. On my Birthday I can’t really remember what it was we did except one thing. We went to a pet store and he bought me a rabbit. She was a white rabbit with caramel brown spots. We named her Jessica as in.. Jessica Rabbit. Yes, very lame I know. We went to my parent’s house and I borrowed their pet carrier, which was hardly ever used, lined it with woodchips and it became Jessica’s home. Jessica became his companion while I was off working. I think she was really more his rabbit then my own. Somewhere around the second week of his visit I began thinking of his return home. I would lay against him with his arms wrapped around me and soak his shirt through with my tears. My heart completely ached at the thought of him going home and my having to stay here. It just didn’t seem fair. I waited for so long to feel this way and it was for someone who lived thousands of miles away. He would comfort me the best he could, but no words seemed to help. Him holding me close and whispering everything would be alright made me want him to stay even more. I wanted to be held forever with him whispering those words to me. Everything will be alright love. With him by my side everything was alright. Him going away wasn’t. Exactly eight days after I turned 20 my great grandmother whom I was close to passed away. I remember at the time we were to my parent’s house for a visit. It was February fourteenth. We had been making our plans for the evening out to celebrate our first Valentine’s Day together when we got the call. I cried for hours, feeling the grief of losing my last living great grandparent. He was completely supportive and there for me holding me and using that calm caring voice to wash away my heartache. We tried to salvage the evening and we did end up going out with a bit of persuasion from my mother taking in dinner and a movie. We buried my great-grandmother later that week. He didn’t come with, we both thought it would be a bit inappropriate for him to join me at the funeral as my extended family hadn’t been properly introduced and a burial isn’t a place for introductions. He waited for me to return and was my shoulder as I went through the grieving process.
Okay, so I am going to take a chance and see if there is a demand for my writing. I am hoping that this will eventually become a published piece. I'm going to start by posting some chapters and see what kind of critique and feedback I get. Remember, this is just rough drafted and doesn't mean this particular writing is set in stone... I will start by posting the first rough drafted chapter. (I just realized when I tried to post my first chapter it exceeded the word limit. I will have to do a few paragraphs at a time it seems.
1. I remember it was the middle of October when he and I first started speaking. It was an online meeting. We had both been part of a chat community. Neither of us were there to find love, but it happened. It happened hard. It was purely an emotional relationship. We got to know each other intellectually and had a deep look into each other’s hearts and dreams. We spend a little over a year getting to know one another. Talking about who we were and where we came from. He was from the midlands in England. I am from the Midwest in America. Some days we would speak for 10 hours and not even realize it. The hours seemed like minutes to me at least. I had never met anyone who just completely understood where I was coming from and what I wanted. His words were always kind and supportive. A day without speaking to him felt like an eternity. Finally after speaking for just shy of 16 months he came to visit me for six weeks. When I saw him for the first time face to face I knew in my heart he was going to be the one I devoted my heart and life to. To me he was the image of perfection. It didn’t matter to me that he was wheeled out from the luggage claim to meet me. That he walked with crutches and had a crooked back. I saw inside of him what I had for the months we spent spilling our hearts for each other to see. The car ride home was a long one. Five hours from the O’Hare airport to the small town in Iowa I was living at the time. I was scared and completely petrified and concerned he thought I was some loser and that he secretly regretted coming to visit. He quickly rest my troubled thoughts to ease. My best friend had come along and was acting as a chauffer so I was able to sit with him in the back seat of the car. Not even a few hours into the car ride he took me up into his arms and kissed me in a very loving and gentle way. I knew he wanted to let me know that everything was alright and that he was feeling the same way. My heart melted and I felt that I was at the top of the world. I had never felt like that before. My whole body tingled with this new sensation. I was loved. Not only was I loved, but I was loved by him. Nothing else at the time mattered. Time stood still that night and the world was mine. That night still burns deep in my memories. After arriving to my place we dressed for bed and though we both should have been tired. He from the long flight and jet lag and me from the sleepless night due to excitement the night before and the long car ride. We stayed up holding each other and talking until the morning light found its way through the window and crept along the bedroom carpet, warming the room. We both must have felt the exhaustion at the same time and the fight to keep sleep from coming finally dwindled. Falling asleep in each other’s arms for the first time was monument. Waking up next to each other was much more so. The feeling of waking up to someone you love completely is indescribable. Words can not even begin to express what an amazing feeling that is. Sure, I was woke up because I had placed my cheek in a pool of his cold drool, but when you are in love things like that do not matter. Watching him sleep that morning my heart felt at home.
Soldier, thanks for your service and a very witty post. I have to say I am on the fence here. There are times I'm really for the capital punishment, then there are times I question it. I would much rather pay 2$ by the way.
This is a very touchy subject indeed. I think since such a thing can't be moderated there shouldn't be capital punishment. You can never be sure if someone was wrongfully sentenced. On the other hand, it isn't right the luxuries criminals these days are given. Go back to the days of chain gangs and people actually fearing the thought of being put into jail/prison. Put that fear back into people and perhaps they would think twice before doing wrong.
luv4ann Forum Posts (38)
RE: DOES AGE MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP?
I meant 11 years younger. :p