do have regrets bout gals from my past that for one reason or another i never got toghether with, i.e. not taking the risk of rejection by not asking them out and now not knowing if i missed "the one" if that makes any sence
believe it or not but that actually works in da snow, i wouldn't recommend it but i seen a ol lad do it a few years ago in germany his car was stuck in da snow, so he put the black axle grease on da tyres nd we were takin da piss out of him but he had da last laugh as he drove away effortless nd left us standing there gobsmacked
in all the years i've done recovery work (20odd yrs :/ ) i've seen some strange, bizzare nd down right weird things but this one just tops da lot, i nearly crashed me own van after it as i was still in stitches driving away from the scene
a bloke down the road from me lost his job bout 6months ago, so to save money he decided to service his car himself, he got all da bits oil, filters, brake fluid etc nd got to work, did the oil change nd filters, he then checked his brakes........... the brake discs on his 05 passat tdi looked a bit rusty so he "oiled" them with the "brake fluid" ................. there now is a hole in da ditch where his now perfectly "oiled" brakes failed to work and has a lot of explaining to do to the insurance company
just goes to show that some things are best left to the pro's
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
SON-OF-A-***** TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a *****!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. (my personal favorite!)
baldydude Forum Posts (4,643)
RE: interesting..
if thats what your after it'll speed up da prosess