Top ten reason I don't want to play the drums in a band
Fame and fortune... Keith Moon, Greg Palmer, Mitch Mitchell, Billy Cox, Ginger Baker, Vlad Gregorianu, Billy Cobham, Ringo Starr, Yossip Vissarianovitch Dzhugashvili... and yet I don't want to do it. Here are the resons why.
1
I would have to keep marching to a 4-2 beat.
2
I am a pacifist. I can’t spend all day pounding and punishing an instrument.
3
It’s easier to do nothing.
4
Drummers are the last ones on the pecking order (or necking order) in line for the better-looking groupies.
5
The band members make fun of you behind your back. “A musician who is tone deaf? Or still could do his job if he were? Hahahaha.”
6
I would lose my sticks, or forget them at home, or break all of them by halfway through the concert, or mistake them for chopsticks, or use them to unclog and unplug the toilet.
7
The klutz that I am, I'm sure I would by mistake poke my own eyes out during a wild drum solo.
8
would wind up sticking the sticks up inadvertently in a for me embarrassing place, during an even wilder drum solo.
9
I would try to use them to snort something or another, and suck the stick up into either nostril, in the entire length of the stick.
10
My ex-wife would leave me, for she would realize that there are useful and fun things occurring freely in nature that are longer and thicker than she had been lead to believe.
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