Today I turn 43. Nothing has changed. Last year I recieved no gifts. I got a few emails but that was it. This year i suppose will be the same . I have no one in my life to bring me flowers or gifts. I am simply a year older now.
Happy birthday to me.
I have finally got my letter telling me I have a place to stay. Of course it will be hard paying rent and utilities on a very limited budget. Me and my daughter will probably have to eat by candle light.
I still have no job but I hope that this will be a new begining for us. I can do this I keep telling myself. I have to stay busy or else the lonliness will consume me.
I have a commission part time job but its hard trying to get people to buy insurance, and get out of debt. Not alot of people interested in saving and investing.
Oh well I hope that everyone else who is in a similar situation finds what they need.
Well its new for me a guy asked for my email then I never heard from him again. Usually you give an email and they jump right in. Well thats okay because I dont have time to read emails. I have too much stress and stuff to worry about.
I dont know what I expected? It has never taken this long to find someone to connect with,,, I mean on a dating site. I have tried them all in one form or another.
But here at CS almost 1 and 1/2 years and nothing. Sure I ve gotten some scams but nothing real. Even friends are slow to respond no offense friends but I cant remember the last email I got from a friend.
Is it me? no one seems to like my picture. some people say I am too picky but I dont believe in opposites attracting.
For the past 5 months I have stayed away from CS. I guess there comes a time in everyones life when we need to step back and concentrate on other things.
As a child my dream was to grow up and make my parents proud. That didnt happen. Then as a young adult I wanted to be a wife and mother that didnt happen.
I came here to make friends but I find I havent been missed.
My life hasnt changed much I still am unemployed and less than a month away from being homeless. But I know I will survive with or without a man.
So to my friends I have missed you all..
Well I have been avoiding cs for personal reasons *scammers. but now it is official as of june 1st I will be homeless unable to get on the internet. So I just will say my farewells now and wish everyone well. Its been a great ride.
How does one ask for forgiveness if they dont know or remeber any offense? How does one forgive themselves?
Is it easier to say I am sorry when you are not even sure.
Ok........... I know I am really bad at forgiving especialy myself. And I really mean it when I say I am sorry for offending someone. But its hard for me to say I am sorry when I dont know what you think I did.
Here it goes: To everyone and anyone I ask for your forgiveness it I have offended you with my ideas,words or actions. I need to start this year with a clean slate and forget the past hurts and offenses.
I forgive in return....the scammers, those who played with my affections and took my friendship for granted. I forgive my abuser brothers,and my sister for her actions toward me and my daughter.
Happy New Year everyone. It is time for a new begining, putting the past behind you and moving on.
One of my sisters decided we should loose wait by going cold turkey. Stop drinking sodas and no more eating meat. Personlly yeah I could stand to loose 25 lbs, but she has no will power I know she wont stick to it. Loosing wait is more than just not eating one has to exercise.
But a new begining for me is more personal. I spent 2011 looking for a man to carry me away. I never liked being single watching my sisters go out on dates and now my neices and nephews. I realize that being single is my fate and i need to accept it. so this year I have decided to separate myself from dating sites and just try to enjoy being single. Maybe I will loose a few lbs.
Good luck to everyone with their resolutions.
I would like to wish everyone here on cs a Happy New Year 2012. I hope everyone stays safe and know your limits. I know everyone has the right to party and celebrate in their own way. Too often we hear about innocent people getting hurt because some person forgot their limit and drove drunk or shot up into the air.
I am not into politics or predictions, but isnt it ironic how so many world leaders are either dying on their own or being killed off? I mean its a good thing that people are being liberated and becoming independent. Many people have freedoms they never dreamed of. Especially women are gaining recognition and opportunities.
All this because of some dictator death.
It is just about that time to think of the past 11 months. What have we accomplished if anything? Or think about your plans for the new year.
My resolutions are the same still trying to find a job and a home for me and my daughter.
I know i have turned alot of guys off with my blogs, theories and low self esteem.
I know for sure I wont be chasing after love and a relationship.
Good luck to all and may the new year bring everyone peace.
belly18 Blog (14)
