He couldn't find any lures, so I suggested he use the little red wiggly person that I found when cleaning his room - I'm sure you've seen those things - they're sticky until they get used too much. He stuck it on the hook. I watched my youngest son prepare to join a friend to go down to the river .....and I felt sad and hurt. I had promised that I would fish with him when we first moved back up here to PA well over a year ago and had not. I knew that although we now lived close enough, his father would not take the time to do so. And I again felt the pangs of that relationship from which I moved (back up here) and how my then mate promised again and again but didn't - he would brag about fishing, said he'd take my son........oh, blah, blah, blah.
The truth, ....... well, a truth........
......even had I taken him, it would have been out of guilt, and my son would have felt that. No, I'm the one who didn't take him fishing; me, moi. I'm the one responsible for my relationship with him. My apology is not for those men in his (my) life with little to no integrity. Equally, my wish is not limited to that man who will soon be in my life who does have integrity (where are you?). My apology is that I didn't take the time to spend with my son. My wish is to find that time and to love it.
I love my son and I'm responsible for my relationship with him and for what I didn't make happen.
"You ruined us, Mommy!" Standing there, my beautiful, intelligent, creative 18 year old daughter who has physically blossomed into quite a gorgeous woman(ish) is reprimanding me on my parenting skills. "You made us believe that we are special, unique and above the crowd in our thinking. You taught us to question everything and to not accept society as it is. And then we get out there and we don't feel normal; we think we're smarter than everyone else, have a better edge on life, and we don't!!!" .......well, she was saying something to that affect; referring to herself and my three teen (still) sons.
I just smiled at her and told her how pretty and smart she was as I cleaned the food mess off of my 2 (almost) year old daughter's face. Sure, I was being a bit glib at the moment; but I'm her mommy and she can expect that. I home-taught my kids. I was and am quite short of perfection, but I have always treasured my babies. So I reminded my older daughter about this very thing. And I told my younger daughter how cute and smart she is - and her older sister chimed in. I grinned my obnoxious grin. She grinned back and went on down the hall to her room to journal.
And in 16 years or so, my younger daughter, standing there in all her beauty, will let me know that I ruined her by having her believe that she was special and unique ....etc......And I will grin at her whilst wiping up her 2 year old nephew's food art creation that he made on the table - letting him know that I liked his design and choice of colors........and how smart and cute he is. And she will chime in .
.....is another woman's artwork.
I cannot find taper candles that drip anymore; not even at thrift stores. I have to manually melt other candles so that they drip on my "candle dripping over the bottle" thing. What a wonder - am I really the only one who has one of these? I started it probably 5 years ago, took a 2 year hiatus and when I got back to it, the candles wouldn't drip.
The odd thing, in a way, is that the center is one of the thousands of bottles discarded by my then alcoholic mate......(he's still an alcoholic but no longer my mate.) And since I like this creation so much, I guess it really is true treasure from true trash.
(This was a mere musing, - it ain't too deep).
This is my ode to Nature for the view that I have from my kitchen window.
The neighboring house does not obscure the beauty that I take the time to see everyday, although if it had a mind, I'm sure that would be its intent.
The most marvelous aspect for me is that the varying weather may alter my scene daily, but it is always beautiful; if all I see is blinding white, it sparkles.
From my window I see the sky dressing herself in her various colorful outfits dependent on her mood. Two trees, one an evergreen the other having shed his leaves so that I can see the mountain and the river, are placed strategically for me to appreciate their silhouettes in my ever changing picture.
Ah, it may not be a large view of Nature that I have; just a small view of this great Nature, but I am very glad and indeed thankful to have it - right here, right from my kitchen window. It may be the thing to help set my day right sometimes, and for that, I am grateful.
Always remember to never forget to tell me that you love me - everyday.
Always remember to never forget to tell me that I'm beautiful - everyday.
Keep me laughing.
Dance with me and keep me dancing.
When I lose my wings, find them for me and help me put them back on.
Listen to me sing, sing to me, sing with me.
Hold me.
Let me cry and hold me when I do.
Always remember to never forget to treasure me as much as you did when you first realized that you did.
The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close behind me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lonely worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air;
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
Theodore Roethke
When The Rain Comes
by Third Day
When the rain comes
it seems that everyone has
gone away
When the night falls
you wonder if you shouldn't
find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away
When the rain comes
you blame it on the things that
you have done
When the storm fades
you know that rain must fall
on everyone
Rest awhile
It'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comes
I will hold you
emmelle Blog (7)