I have been doing some reading about online dating and have noticed that women are encouraged to make the initial contact with members as long as they are interested. The advisor went to giving ideas as to how we can structure our messages. The article also advised that we should not give up i we don't received the response we were expecting or any response at all ut move on to the next interest.
I have sent messages to guys on this site. Some have been courteous, others just ignore my message completely. I tend to get insulted very easily and prefer to just sit back and wait.
I am wondering if men believe women are desperate for sending them messages or are we too aggressive. Also, what does it take to respond with a few kind words and let the person down easily?
Back in may when I created my profile and joined this site, I was unemployed broke and had big dreams. I stated this in my profile and also that I was a single mother who was actively seeking employment. I received many interests and they did keep in contact for a short while.
I remember one software engineer told me outright that I sounded like a scammer and he wanted to know if i would go to the police station to get a police record to ease his mind. Hmmm. i was insulted but got over it. I gave this same person business leads to grow his company. A few others wanted me to soothe their s*xual desires which made me extremely upset. Lmao. I remember being asked to do internet sex or even share and view naked pics of myself and others. One communicated with me for a whole month then started requesting naked snaps. I kept wondering why these men had to stoop to such levels. None were ever interested in providing employment leads or at least provide pointers on how to land the perfect job.
Just a few weeks before I deactivated my profile, I met one who was scheduled to visit Antigua and inquired what I would like him to bring for me. At first, i was shocked and told him nothing. He asked i I was sure and i said a cell phone. At the same time, I was accepted into an MBA Program and awarded a scholarship that would cover 82% of my scholarship. I only had to pay the registration fee and a small deposit. if i didn't pay these by the specified deadline, I would end up losing the scholarship. I asked said gentleman to forget the phone and assist me with paying my tuition deposit as this was more important to me. I was immediately blocked from his whatsapp. I told myself i had nothing to lose in asking for assistance so i did the same for two others. The software engineer called me a scammer and blocked me as well. Another one made the promise to assist but never did, (we still communicate because i don't hold grudges). Another who would always want me to quench his s*xual excite became quiet on skype until i told him my mind and removed myself from his life. Mind you, I wasn't asking for them to send me any money. I provided the school details, my student login credentials and even the student advisors full details so they could verify that I wasn't lying.
My point is this, if i am honest with you about my life and circumstances from the beginning, do not pretend you are interested and then call me a scammer the moment i find myself in a situation that i need assistance. Some women ask for money to pay bill, buy expensive clothes and accessories etc. i am a person who only ask if I am extremely desperate and can't do any better. We tend to use the same yardstick to judge everyone which is wrong.
Why contact someone who is unemployed and broke if you're not serious?
Why all the selfishness; I should satisfy your freakishly s*xual desires for five or ten minutes and then go back to wondering how I am going to solve my problems?
I am grateful that I was able to pay my tuition deposit and land a job within the same week. Now, I can look back at the situation and laugh to myself knowing that it was their loss and not mine.
Never judge someone based on their present situation an their ability to ask for assistance. they are a work in progress and not a failure.
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