Should a woman make the first move?
I have been doing some reading about online dating and have noticed that women are encouraged to make the initial contact with members as long as they are interested. The advisor went to giving ideas as to how we can structure our messages. The article also advised that we should not give up i we don't received the response we were expecting or any response at all ut move on to the next interest.I have sent messages to guys on this site. Some have been courteous, others just ignore my message completely. I tend to get insulted very easily and prefer to just sit back and wait.
I am wondering if men believe women are desperate for sending them messages or are we too aggressive. Also, what does it take to respond with a few kind words and let the person down easily?
Comments (39)
Me i just go straight in with mail, the either reply or not
It can't be taken too personally.
If you like someone's profile then mail them. That is you making your choice.
If they fail to respond, or do so with a polite Thanks but not interested, that is them making their choice.
But there is always that chance that somebody will like what they see.
I think if somebody likes me that much, they would write. Otherwise it's just a button pressing exercise.
So now exercise that right and face rejection like men do
I get a very low strike rate from sending messages, probably less than 1 in 10, so I dont put too much effort into it first up. If somebody has the manners to say thanks but no thanks, I politely wish them all the best. I dont get the hostility thing, occasionally somebody will explode in a rage because you sent them a message.
as for responding to mail. i rarely if ever do. if i sent a mail, i wouldn't expect a response either. you shouldn't consider it rejection or feel bad about it because neither parties know the other.
If I don't receive an immediate reply, I naturally assume the person has died.
There can be no other explanation.
I'm continually amazed at how many people on this site are dead
No reply?
Chalk it up to poor judgment on your part that you mailed a person with bad taste or who is simply stupid.
Or dead.
Of course, it is remotely possible that there may be an aspect of your profile that he finds unacceptable...
Religion.
Drinking/smoking.
Ethnicity.
Location.
Astrological sign.
......................
To answer your question, of course a woman should make the 1st move if she finds something interesting in a guy's profile.
It's percentages. This is a big site.
You could wait forever for the 'right one' to come across your profile.
And then he might be shy...like Ali
Or afraid you won't reply.
Result....
In those immortal words of Molly, don't take it personally.
And don't be alarmed at how many guys on this site have, you know, passed.
It happens
I don't know why considering somebody's outwardly a Pearce is considered more shallow than, for example, them having a different political persuasion.
You have to live with both at the end of the day.
Sure, looks can disintegrate, but people's political leanings can also shift
I appreciate your comments on my blogs and value your opinion. however, I believe you have misinterpreted my actions with the last two blogs. you cannot combine your comments because then it would seem you are stating that I did send messages requesting money.
If you should take the time an read the blog titled "what's wrong with a work in progress", you will note that the three persons that I did ask, we were corresponding for quite some time. I would be crazy to just get up and message someone to ask them to spend their hard earned money on something that they know nothing about. Please do not get the wrong impression of me.
Thanks again for your contribution.
Are you happy to be limited to only those who approach you first?
How interested are you in someone who would think less of you for speaking to them first?
Assuming you've read the person's profile, refer to something included in it.
They have an interest in such a subject as they included in their profile.
Better still, ask a direct question about something they've included in their profile.
This makes it easy for the person to respond...simply answer your question.
ALSO...it's an opening for anyone to talk about everyone's favorite topic.
That would be themselves, of course.
It's only common courtesy for someone to reply to mail whether or not he's interested.
However answering to a mail sometimes has it's up-side and down-side if you're not interested.
If you think you like to make the first contact by all means go ahead....You must be prepared though to handle rejection not everyone will let you down nicely.
I believe that not approaching someone because of an outward appearance is profoundly different than not approaching someone because of their opinion. People choose their opinions but do not choose to be unattractive. Attempting to go through life being at peace with myself and bringing joy to the women of the world :) I like to think that a few minutes of my time to approach someone even to chat for a spell can boost the confidence of an unexpended lady who is feeling not so good about herself. It's a tough world and I personally believe we each strive in our own way to improve our circumstances. If not for ourselves maybe to impress another.
As my older neighbor lady used to say. "Thankfully there is makeup to make women more attractive! But maybe there should be make up for men. Getting rejected is merely a speed bump on the road of life. :-)
People's demeanour, lifestyle, and attitudes all show on our faces and bodies.
So identical twins who live different lives with different attitudes are going to look different.
A bit Dorian Grey .
Something puzzles me about the attitude...maybe size has alot to do with how well females in oppose to males see and handles things
I am no scientist though, so all of my observations are purely on his that, personal observations. Not empirical, solely theoretical .
If you have 2 people born with the same genes - one lives a life on junk food; is a couch potato; smokes and drinks excessively, and has a negative, even bitter outlook on life
Th other, eats a healthy balanced diet; gets regular exercise, doesn't smoke, drinks moderately, and have a happy, positive outlook on life
There is no way, at the age of 50, that these two people are going to look the same.