this is gonna be a short one - but hey, free to vent here right?
picture this out...... on the one day in winter when the temperature is over 20 degrees and no rain in sight, you've cleaned your bike for half a day, all nice and shiny ready for an outing, THEN you fall off a ladder? so with an icepack strapped on your swollen ankle you hobble off to the kitchen for a cup of tea AND your electric kettle just decided to die on you that very moment? so you think oooookay, i'll just hobble back into bed via the same demonic ladder which catapulted you to this situation in the first place, bury yourself under some thick doonas and troll along in CS for some much needed cheer - THEN realised that the stupid kettle actually managed to blow up the electrical connections all over the house? and no, your laptop was not fully charged.
well, i had one of those days.. - and i am not ashamed to admit that at that very moment my brain was screaming -
"I WANT MY MOMMY"!!!!
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time
it might be too late.
Seize the day.
Never have regrets.
Goodbye my friends.
would you go into marriage knowing you'll never feel too strongly for this other person? that he doesnt make your pulse go any quicker?
sometimes i think that's the difference between men and women.. men can choose whom they can love and marry..
women have to make a logical choice.. who is the better provider, not just financially but emotionally and intellectually...
more so because when they used their hearts in their past choices, it tends to get their hearts stomped on..
or am i just being an idealist..
but maybe i am asking for too much.. for everything in fact.. maybe, i want to have everything.. the s*xual attraction, the camaraderie, shared interests, his ability to provide etc etc..
maybe it is ok to give up on the other stuff i.e. s*xual attraction in favour of the ability to provide..
when i was 16 years old. all i wanted was to be a housewife and have 2 dozen kids.. and be passionately in love with my husband. but obviously that didnt happen.. lol.
my friends all tell me, that love will come eventually. if the guy loves you dearly and provides for you.. ... eventually i will feel love and passion for him. and perhaps s*xual attraction..are they are destroying my romantic ideals? why must love and marriage be treated like a business transaction?
my greatest fear is that i will find the love & passion i have been looking for and know that i have to settle for passionless and safe because it will be a good investment for the future....
dear santa,
all i want for christmas is a guy who is:
1. keen on me and willing to show the world that he is.
2. knows what he wants and goes for it without wasting time rationalising.
3. dwells on the positives
4. emotionally available
5. protective of me
6. funny
7. cuddly
8. sweet..
9. cute..
10. sexy..
11. tba ....
12. more to come...
i put in my order early so that i wont have to deal with the red tape. however, i will be updating and revising my list throughout the year.
do you think you can manage that st nick? hehehe..
your most favorite and long serving client,
g33kgurl
Remember when I insisted on getting my own pair of Levis denim jeans and black and white Adidas sneakers exactly like what you always wear? I was 6 years old. You went to a tailor and had your own Levis copied and took off a Levis tag from one of your own to put on my brand new ones. I was so happy walking around wearing exactly the same thing as you. I was your mini me and I was so proud.
Remember when we used to sneak out of Mom's watchful eyes and go watch a scary movie in town? Then on the way home, we would buy a kilo of mangoes and merrily eat it all before we got home?.. I remember the first movie you took me to. It was Dracula starring Christopher Lee. You had to put me on your shoulders as the moviehouse was so full and they ran out of seats but I insisted on watching the movie so you had to stand up for the whole movie with me on your shoulders. I loved you so much for it.
When I was a teenager - remember we used to sit in the porch and cackle at every passerby, make up stories about them and gossip about our neighbours? How we loved passing the day like that.
Remember the rooster you gave me? So I could come with you and older brother to the cockfights pretending I was one of the guys? But never allowing my rooster to take part for fear I would howl my way home and face Mom's wrath? I loved you so much for it.
Remember when I spent a year in and out of hospital and was so upset for missing out so much on my first year at school? You told me I should be so lucky I have two houses. One (my home) by the beach and one with more than a 100 rooms in it (the hospital). I was so proud I took the hospital's picture to class for "show and tell". I was 5 years old.
When it was your turn to be in a hospital, why couldnt I come up with something like that Dad? Why couldnt I make you laugh or come up with something witty to ease your pain? Or anything.. to stop your eyes from dimming... to stop your mind from wandering off somewhere where I couldnt reach you with my wisecracks.
I am so sorry. I had nothing. I tried. I racked my brains for something. Anything. But your jester daughter couldnt come up with anything. And I hope you could forgive her.
I miss you Dad.
I peer through Nothing
I strain my ears to Nothing
And know that it is closing in
In a crowd The Nothing suffocates me
As it breathes in my air
And the loneliness engulfs me
I know I'm alone...
Yesterday seemed so filled with promise.
An exchange of warmth, the sharing of so much.
Now, the slumber so desperately needed teases and tantalises yet still elusive.
The walls have gotten closer yet
I fear to escape from them to face outside
My rage bubbles beneath the surface
I hide within .... afraid to move.
Even writing has lost what comfort I may find
The urge to reach out and simply feel a hand
I look down at my own and wonder...,
what man would ever want them touching these?
The exhaustion is winning now.
I look at the hovel and see what little was accomplished.
The abject bleakness is so complete.
I want to scream in rage but the effort is too much.
Why bother, if it doesn't do a damn bit of good.
The choices are fading from me.....
Even the voices seem forlorn , no longer angry just apathetic.
it just doesn't seem to matter much anymore......
There’s an evil woman cackling just under my window. Yes I live in the city and my soul should be eternally damned for such travesty. The cackling has been going on for almost two hours now. I am visualising her gleefully conjuring or brewing a pot of cane toads’ legs, blood of a two headed bat and some poor bloke’s chest hairs. But alas I know that she is only down at the restaurant having a good gabba with some mates. Well, I should consider myself lucky it’s only Thursday and 9pm. Hopefully her coven should be gone by sun up.. well hopefully.
Why do I say lucky? Because it is not the weekend... yet.. Fridays and Saturdays brings other dark entities out into the night and spills out of the street of my beloved city. The most common variety are the zombies which is divided into two sub zombie group. First are the reavers I call them. This group is fast (ala 28 days later), mindless and loud. They come like a horde of darkness , screaming, blood red eyes, looting, kicking garbage bins, beating each other to a pulp for that last piece of human, littering the streets with drool, urine and funnily enough excretions high in alcohol content (yes the humans in pristine white coats have collected samples back in the days). The reavers’ periodic exit out of their lair is from 11pm onwards. After that, anyone is fair game I say. Although it starts earlier on Friday nights (around 6pm). So be warned.
The second sub group is what I call the dredge.. This is the original resident evil type zombies. Slowish, with eyes dulled and dimmed, hair matted .... Still hungry for human flesh –just slower and dumber. They come about the streets from the pits of hell, tottering on some stilts (must be a form of hellish punishment from a bad deed done when living), some barely able to walk on it, others carry it around whilst their feet are bloodied by the pavement, unnoticed however. They groan, drool, puke.. But they keep going on a direction, only they know... their once heavily made up faces melting, nails broken.. They trod on even until sun up. So even the daytime can still be a danger to one’s health (if you’re a human anyway).
Its 1030pm now.. The cackles have since evaporated into the wintery chill. Just another week night in the city. Goodnight ya’ll.
this rather curious specie is encountered mostly in online dating sites.
they pepper you with romantic emails, of undying love and devotion, cartloads of pictures of themselves, their house, their dog, their cat, their feet (oops! should i mention that?).....,
nightly you are serenaded by their dreams of your future as a couple on ym, cyber goodnight kisses and hugs...
one even shaved his moustache for you.
this seemingly insatiable courtship goes on for a month or so...and you have this warm squishy feeling and a spring in your step in the mornings!
then BAM!!! a complete and utter silence....
you wonder..... you fret..... has the mushroom been plucked you say? chopped into itsy bitsy pieces and peppered on top of a domino's pizza? or fried and served with bacon and eggs maybe?
soooo....six months go by - you're happily vegetating on blogs and threads - and BAM!!
the mushroom wondrously sprouts from that subterranean abyss it has been in the last 6 months.
such sprouting begins (to your sheer disbelief) by nonchalantly picking up where it has left off. and i quote, "Hi there, it's ____________ I have moved from _________ to _________and glad to be out of ___________ . How have you been????? PS...are you coming to _____________anytime this year??"
REALLY??? noooo... really, i say... - is there a mushroom shuttle out there which teleports this particular specie from one era to
another?
because i swear - my blatant balderdash radar has not detected any sign of activity for the last 6 months.
but how can i resist? of course i welcomed the mushroom with earnest pleasure. ----
anyone interested to join me for dinner? mushroom risotto is on the menu.
I am always amused at the personal ads that end with, "No mind games, No liars, No players," etc.
Like a lying, game playing so and so would read this and say," Damn, that leaves me out"!
g33kgurl Blog (17)
