God Places Rainbow In Sky, Promising Never To Flood The Earth With Liberal Tears Again

U.S.—Amazed onlookers across the country confirmed Tuesday that a massive, brilliant rainbow appeared in the sky, a promise from the Almighty that He will never flood the earth with so many liberal tears again.



A booming voice accompanied the wondrous sign, making a covenant with the nation never to allow liberals' tears to cover the entire surface of the earth again, as occurred over the past several weeks. The miraculous message in the heavens appeared just as the floodwaters from Brett Kavanaugh's nomination began to recede and portions of dry land began to emerge from the surface of the waters.

"It's great that we have this guarantee because I was getting really worried about how we would keep our heads above water when Ginsburg retires," said one man in Connecticut. "Praise the Lord for His grace upon mankind!"

Kavanaugh himself celebrated the reappearance of dry land by planting a vineyard and telling his family he was going to go lie down in an adjacent tent for a while, according to sources.

The covenant does have one loophole, however: should Trump win reelection, the Lord would make "no guarantees" that a literal worldwide flood would not occur.





Tag - Satire

Comments (6)

And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; 15 and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” 17 And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth.”
Q) What makes the ocean salty confused

......
......

A) The tears of misunderstood sharks who want nothing more than to be hugged hug
:crying

cowboy
JustaHonestGuy
I just checked the good book for correct quote and God said HE placed a rainbow in the sky as a sign of the covenant between HIM and the people of the earth never to wipe out mankind ever again by a world wide flood Genesis 9:13-15 .
Of course later on in the new testament and through the words of Jesus (God's Son ?) and through the early writers of the new testament (inspired by the Holy Spirit ?) that whilst God has said he wont wipe out mankind by water HE has found another way to destroy mankind which is to torch the whole earth by total oblivion which according to biblical description sounds very similar to a world wide nuclear war !
I don't think the rest of the World is as interested in Brett Kavanaugh's nomination as you seem to think, Willy. yawn
Lynne01
Rainbow is me, I am a happy person.
I am Rainbow, I try to make others happy, too.

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