Unknown
Unknown
Sep 2007
1,122 Views
9 Comments

Heartbroken................

I joined this site after a recent encounter on another site. It was my first time and I was lucky enough to chat with a fabulous guy. We 'clicked' and spent hours texting and being on the internet and phone. He made me laugh, smile, blush and giggle like a silly school girl - but it was great fun banana

I thought of him every minute of the day. I was constantly checking my mobile for messages and when we talked on the phone I had butterflies in my tummy.

BUT...........

Two days ago a testimonial from another member (female) appeared on his profile which basically said what a nice guy he was. I spoke to him about it and he said it was someone he had just been chatting to. I left the conversation feeling okay but then the old mind starts working overtime. very mad I contacted this other woman and just asked her what she thought of him. To cut a long story short she told him that I had contacted her and now he doesn't want anything to do with me. doh


I've apologised for what I did and explained why I did it. We've all been hurt and lied to in the past. Surely I wasn't wrong to be cautious.

He says he still wants me but can't trust me. I'm heartbrokencrying

Come on guys and girls was I wrong to contact this "other" woman?
help It would be good to get the guys' point of view
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Comments (9)

stedaman
stedaman●gory, Wexford Ireland
Sep 10, 2007●3 Comments
#1
well i do u needed 2 find out were u stood
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Specialk27
Specialk27●Athy, Kildare Ireland
Sep 10, 2007
#2
I wouldve done the same thing hun... its all about repect at the end of the day.. and not taking someone on a little ride.. which is wot he was doing.. didnt care about yur heart just his by the sound of it... U are lucky u found out sooner rather than later.

Chin up hun kiss hug
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angelana
angelana●London, UK
Sep 10, 2007●4 Comments
#3
Sorry I am not a man whose comment u want, but I can put my two cents in anyways. Well it was just a start of a relation, which was based on trust right? Its okay to feel insecure and all that, and yes we all been hurt in the past. But we need to keep open mind and heart, always take the 'new' guy as new I mean not to attach past exp and judge him. Now he feels insecure by this behaviour isnt it? I think rather than that girl, you should have directly approached him first, and also, if it was really suspcious, he would have deleted the testimonial before it caught your eyes isnt it? In any case, the guy should try to understand your POV also, since you did it following your guts and there is nothing wrong with that.
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elegantlady
elegantlady●London, Greater London, England UK
Sep 10, 2007●1 Blogs●20 Comments
#4
Not knowing the full story of what transpired between you and this man leaves me somewhat reluctant to respond. I do feel that you jumped to conclusions. If the woman on the profile said he was "a nice guy", does that mean that they were involved? Keep in mind that the web is a wonderful tool for networking, making friends, etc. I would not have contacted her, if I had any doubts I would have spoken to him. Also, since your relationship was only at the communication level via the web and phone, I don't really feel you gave this relationship enough time to fully develop. Of course I am an older woman who may be out of touch with how young people pursue things these days. In any event, we learn from our mistakes, if this guy is really into you, then he will eventually resume the relationship you had previously, if not...move on and there are so many men out there to connect with! Good luck!comfort hug
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Shreck1312
Shreck1312●Stoney Creek, Ontario Canada
Sep 10, 2007
#5
I think you did what most people would do, it's all about self preservation and avoiding getting hurt. I mean, let's face it, if he can't accept your explanation and apology....too bad for him.

Hang in there....the sun will rise again!
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johnnyboy76
johnnyboy76●Springfield, Missouri USA
Sep 10, 2007●21 Blogs●41 Comments
#6
eh, he could be a serial killer and wants to make a mask out of your face skin.
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Dawn50
Dawn50●Ottawa Valley, Ontario Canada
Sep 10, 2007●3 Comments
#7
If u have been seeing him for months, I see your reason uh oh

But if u just met, a few weeks ago he does have the right to communicate with others, and to know u contacted other I see his reason for being upset....

And if u have apologised and he says he wants you but can't trust you is a very good reason not to persue anymore.

You cannot find love without trust.

And if this broke the trust issue, then the excitment was not on both sides

dunno
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tryptophan38
tryptophan38●chicago, Illinois USA
Sep 10, 2007
#8
YEAH BOO U KINDA JUMPED THE GUN ON THIS ONE. I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID IT BUT FROM A GUYS POINT OF VIEW YOU SCARED HIM OFF. hE WASNT IN A COMMITED RELATIONSHIPS SO THERE WAS NO REASON TO WORRY IF HE WAS CHATTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. NEXT TIME LET THINGS AND FEELINGS DEVELOP NATURALLY LEAVE THE PAST AS IT IS IN THE PAST.
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Raggerty
RaggertyOP●Coventry, West Midlands, England UK
Sep 11, 2007
#9
Thanks everyone for your VALUABLE comments. You have all touched on thoughts and things that have been said to this guy. ANGELANA: you said in your reply that we shouldn't attach past experiences to new relationships, but don't you think that's exactly what he is doing? He has obviously had a relationship in the past where he has not been trusted. However, in hindsight, you are right I should have asked him direct (which is what he said I should have done), but then again he could have told me what he wanted me to hear. ELEGANTLADY: I truly hope you are right when you say "if he is into me then he will resume the relationship". I can't believe that I have fallen for him after such a short time. SHRECK: you hit the nail on the head - it's all about self preservation and avoiding getting hurt - and that is exactly what I was doing. TRYPTOPHAN38: Easier said than done to leave past experiences in the past. Past experiences make us what we are today. When you've been hurt in the past, it's hard to forget.

THanks again guys for all your comments. Fingers crossed he will get back in touch. Will keep you posted xx banana
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by Unknown
created Sep 2007
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