Something random to think about pt 1
The human body is such a magnificent piece of work. At moments it can be such a fragile monument, but at others it has the programming and the self-intellect to repair and keep itself maintained to the highest degree of safety. You fall and cut your knee. What does your body do? It regenerates skin and fixes that knee right up. But our minds are also one of the greatest things that the body can utilize. The mind, and the brain, harness the mechanics and the actual locomotion behind the body. Nonetheless, they both rely on each other for without one there would be no other. If your mind gets hurt, lets say...a heartbreak, your body has natural defenses against that too. Everyone has heard of defense mechanisms, you know: Denial, Reflection, Substitution, Regression, etc., they're the things that help keep us sane when we need it. So what happens when youre in dear need of a defense mechanism but your aresenal just isnt stocked? What could even put someone into that sort of state? Well...?We all develop best friends throughout our life and those people are hardly friends, but more like family after awhile. The depth that they weave themselves into your life is amazing. How you yourself would allow yourself to be vulnerable to that degree is astounding on account that it just isnt human nature to put themselves in the path of Harms Way.
I had a best friend once. I mentioned him in a prior blog. Andrew. Well, dunno what happened to this bloke. He, like a lot of people in life, simply fell off the grid in my life. It doesnt help though when you live an hour and a half away from each other. But that is hardly even the problem. Andrew, his entire life, pursued the girl of his dreams. He looked for and found The One. Well, unfortunatley through that trek he lost a lot of his own values, morales, and by time he came out the other end, it was hardly even him anymore. In easier terms: this is a hardcore case of being whipped. Even I, his best friend, have become isolated at this point. Conversations are short and unethusiastic, if at all existent. I dont consider him yet "lost" though. Andrew isnt the kind of person I would just give up on like most of the people I do to. We've been through a lot together and rather than just ditching now--I know he'll need me in the future--im going to endure and just lay down in the shadows for now.
Like someone wise once said "There is a time and a place for everything."
Im accustomed to losing people. Its second nature to me. As long as I can remember I can recall people that were once dear to me start dropping like flies. Maybe im just a repellent. Maybe people do change--and not always for the better. I know I have. While although I do admit that im a much more casual and relaxed person (at least at face value) than I used to be, but im only human and I have my moments too. Some habits I took up are bad, some arent. Most of them are vices to escape. I long an escape for I always feel trapped and isolated. Depression? Maybe. Im no psychiatrist. Regardless of what it is or why, it still IS. Its there. Its what makes me me. And for that, as much as it hurts, I wouldnt take away a moment of it. Learning when to let go and to hold on though were the greatest things ive ever learned in my life though.