GRRRRR...I want to ...commit mayhem.....

I was sooo feeling happy, good about myself, finally feeling like I was getting over the past 6 months of hell that my life has been. Got glammed up, hair done, new clothes, walking head held high.... you get the picture?
I joined on here cause someone said you can meet people and make friends, actually made a step towards moving on even as far as making a coffee meet date (1st time since I met my ex 6 yrs ago) with a funny guy that lives close to me that I met on here. Long story short, he didn't show and then went weird the next day on me, almost accusing me of stalking HIM?! But even then I didn't let it bother me..."whatever dude" and went on my merry way...(I think he was either all talk and no action or married/involved). But I was still feeling Good about myself and confidence was building by the day.

Then tonite I find out that my ex paid for some woman he met on F--- book to fly up here from Newfoundland after only knowing her for a month and a half, and only officially telling me we were through in January. ("Can't you see this isn't working, I don't love you anymore...etc") Turning me and my 10 yr old out on the street in October but stringing us along till after christmas with the "its only temporary and we will get back together and be a family again soon."

My daughter was so emotionally devastated that she had to be placed in temporary care with a foster family because I couldn't deal with her (I had emotionally checked out, so to speak) and she was acting out in anger etc. He knew they took her at the end of January but he has never bothered to call to see how she is or anything.

So here I am, but I don't want to cry, I accept I could never go back to him, (he was very abusive to us, but psychologically not physical, which is why I didn't recognize it till I was away from it), and I know I will never get closure (he won't tell me why but then again, he probably doesn't know why anyways)...the twit actually tried once to say "I had the affair because that was the path that life put in front of me" <--ummm not sure how anyone else would take that but I said.."thats the biggest bullshit line I have ever heard. You had a choice, you picked the wrong path."

So here I sit and I am stewing over this, because you see, I had actually called him last Sunday and left a message for him to give me the last of my stuff thats at the house. I was still waiting on him to call me about it when I heard she "might" be here, (although clues point to a 99% chance she is).

He is a major Liar, so I truly doubt she knows exactly how the split happened, (he prob blamed me cause he always played the victim), and I really need to get my daughter scooter from the house before Saturday because I have a visit with her and she wants to play with it. Also, (and I know this is childish but...) he rides motorcycle and the weather up here has been phenomanly (sic) warm, and I don't want her wearing the helmet that is mine (I bought it and its pink), proceeds went to "Breast Cancer Research". But like I said...I don't want any other woman wearing MY helmet. Everyone that knows me in the grps we hung out with on bike, know me by my pink helmet. So, with him going to work tommorrow, I am thinking of going by the house with the intentions of getting the scooter and helmet and checking out if she is there and maybe drop a few hints to her about what she is getting in on with him.

I am not a vengeful person, I try to walk through life and let sleeping dogs lie, or go out of my way to be helpful/nice to everyone....but truthfully I am not sure that I won't see her or talk to her and leave and come home and fall back into that pit of dark thoughts or emotions.

What to do??????
It's almost 2 am...I doubt I am getting much sleep now. But i have to try.

Sorry but I do tend to write novels when I get started.

Goodnight