history, present, future?
I heard a song today.. it took me way back... whatever happened to me?where is the old me?
It's friday night, i am sitting at home behind a computerscreen being bored as hell.
No way that i would have done this a year ago. Staying home in the weekends is something i would only do if i'm in a serious relation. When i'm single i would be out clubbing, if i was younger i was always out. A part of me still wants to do that, just hanging out with friends listen to music, drinking some beers, flirting with some girls... You get the idea.
Who am I supposed to go drinking with?
Half of the guys i used to hang out with is either dead or in jail.. the other half grew up. Oh I know i can step into any pub i want in a 100 km radius and at least someone inside would know me... I could drink with them. Refreshing some old memories.
Would be fun.. nah not fun.. entertainment. What would fun be? what is fun for me today?
Its hard to describe, i haven't had real fun for quite some time now. My life is running on automatic pilot.. I do what i gotta do.. and i wait... I wait for better times to come again.
I really want to share my life with someone again.. I'm ready for it. I know i could get a date without a problem.. I could even get relations without problems.. but not with the kind of girl i'm looking for.. I don't even know where i can find those kind. All I know is where the partygirls are.. you know the kind that only care about how they look, where the next party is, ....
How about a descent girl? The kind that actually has a brain, has an opinion, the one that isn't afraid to work, someone that can be nice to everyone, someone that loves to cuddle under a blanket while watching a movie, the kind that holds me when i cry, the one that supports me no matter what. Someone that i would support, someone i could believe in, someone honnest, someone who has what it takes to controle me.. to make me behave myself, the girl that can make me love her so much that i would do anything for her. I have no idea.. maybe she will read this.. so to her i want to say.. I miss you.
Comments (7)
u shouldnt be bored ted as theres many ways to amuse oneself,lol.
we party, we enjoy wen were at it.maybe drink too much it becomes a problem, were life can get out of controll.incidents/accidents/trouble can happen here and there without intention and then maybe just one incident wakes us up.we grow up ted, wen we realise that life cant just be one big party all the time.being drunk/stone all the time has no meaning its just an illusion,its not real.
takes some time to get back to the reality ted as we gotta feel our way round again.keep it simple and order will follow ted.
do some nitting ted,you'll be surprised how sth so simple can be so wonderful
or maybe better still go and enjoy a few drinks