high standards

From the moment we are born, impressions and experiences shapes us into the person we have become at this moment in life.

Like most western teenagers i did my share of searching when it comes to finding a partner. I've had high standards, I knew exactly what I wanted in a girl, and later on I also find out what flaws I would never be able to accept.
As the years went by, I still couldn't find anyone that was compatible with my desires, noone would meet my high standards.
People, friends, family had told me I'm to picky. The woman I search for only exists in my dreams.
My dream of having a family was so strong I actually started to believe them. I lowered my standards and sure enough soon after that I had a relation.
However, something inside me didn't feel right. I couldn't bring myself to the point of getting married, I couldn't convince myself to have children with her. This wasn't was i was looking for. I could never be happy in that life.

I gave up on that relation, and I had accepted the fact that i would remain single the rest of my life. I would never lower my standards again, because I was sure, even more sure then before, that it could never work that way.

A single life for me, it wasn't my prefered way but the more i got used to the idea, the easier it became. I made new plans, new dreams to chase.. and then I joined CS.

So many people, so many new friends.. I liked it here. Just relaxing with friends every evening, no pressure.. just relax. Life of a single man can be so easy.
Then she came into my life, well my blog to be more precise.
After just a few words, I knew it... she is the one.
However, previous experiences made me cautious afterall my ideals were to high to be realistic. But still, this one seemed to have all the qualities I was searching for. So she really had to have some unacceptable flaws right?
I couldn't see them, how could she hide them so well?
emails back and forth... she is so amazing, so wonderful.. sure she flaws, I see them clearly... but noone that i find unacceptable. Could it be?
She lives so far away, its going to be hell to sort out all that paperwork... Will I let some paperwork stand in my way of being happy? Will I let fear leftover from previous experiences steal away my chance of being happy?

These questions were with me quite a while, I couldn't fight it anymore, I wanted to be with her. I had to tell her how i feel.
How would she react? I don't think she realises how i feel about her.
I told her... enough time wasted, write an email tell her how i feel. Then days waiting were my share, she hadn't been online a few days, my mail was still unopened. That moment seemed to last forever... Notification in my email.. I got a message from her on Cs. oh my God, what have i done.. I might have been to direct.. Maybe i should have taken things slower.. I don't dare to read this message. Get a grip, you got nothing to lose...

A few mails later we were planning my trip to visit her. She is everything i could ever wish for and more. Right now we are planning her trip to visit me. I look forward to seeing her again. I miss her so much.

My fellow bloggers, never give up on your dreams, it might take many many years, but the perfect partner is out there, no matter how high you set your standards. Don't let anyone make you settle for less. Someday you will meet him/her... just like I did.