Self-control crucial in relationships?

Self control is important. The main problem is in any argument to stick to the issue and not go into personal. If the issue is the toothpaste tube with no lid on - the easiest way will be to say -sorry, will not leave lid again) and seal with the kiss) The shoutings and screamings are starting when at least onepartner will say "You didnt do that" or "You did that and that"/The person who hears "YOUyouyou" feels aggression and attack? he/she feels threatened and need to defence. And what is the best defence? - Attack! Yes! Thats whats happening/ Just try not to use "YOU', use "I". If youw ill say "Dear, when Iheard thet or saw that and that I felt not comfortable or I didnt like it, Ifelt bad and not appreciated etc etc". Believe me, you will see the difference! You will feel it as well - there will be no fight. Unfortunately people dont really know power of words. Lot of words can hurt and do unrepairable damage, so choose them wisely))