QUOTES N JOKES
ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romance
Relations may be based on business
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Possibilty of abusive relationships
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Look forward for huge debt in near future
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
That combination will be life's biggest disaster
Why do we call oranges orange, but we do not call apples red, limes green, or lemons yellow?
Because they cannot make up a name for oranges. May be they should name them juicies.
* OFFICE ARITHMETIC *
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Possibilty of tax fraud
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Overworked employees will increase sick leaves
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Boss's job at risk
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Increased chances of company bankruptcy
When snow melts where does the white go?
It flows away with the melting snow.
*SHOPPING MATH *
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for items that she doesn't need.
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Because it is not stick to the lips. So you can use the lipstick to move around your lips.
* GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS *
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. **
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
I am rest assured you cannot get baby oil from a baby squeeze. You will only let the baby scream.
* HAPPINESS *
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. **
* LONGEVITY *
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only one bra?
A pair of pants is used for two legs. Answer about Bra only ladies know.
* PROPENSITY TO CHANGE *
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. **
Why is a bell only heard once it rings?
I cannot hear a non ringing bell. How about you ?