Searching for meaning.

Sometimes it seems that memories will lay dormant till a time or event will waken them. Then the memory will be reflected on. Then it will go back to sleep till called upon once more. The following story is a reflection or memory of a happening a long time ago when the person was a 10 year old boy.

The boy, like everyone else in the town, was aware of an unusual girl or lady who lived in the town. Some of her odd features made her be noticed and these features also made it hard to pick her age. And the years that have since passed makes the task to pick her age more difficult. But her age was probably somewhere between 18 and 30

She had scraggy hair and always wore scruffy clothes. Often as she walked along the road she would talk to herself with a squeaky voice in what seemed to be a troubled way. And sometimes she would suddenly cup her face into her hands in a distressed way.

It was a common belief that she was a foster child and lived with other troubled people. And the kids of the town referred to her as the witch. But it was not remembered if she was picked on for being different.

Outside of the town near the creek was an old abandoned farm. The old farm house had been vandalized and other buildings and sheds in disrepair were nearby. And rusted farm equipment and broken down cars were all over that area. That area was an interesting place for the kids of the town. The boy was a loner and he would wander all over the district. The boy was at that area then the girl appeared. She then slowly walked up to him and smiled and then she put her arms around him. Then she gently hugged his head into her breast. And she spoke in the most soft and gentle voice.

The comfort and love from the girl was something the child had not sensed before and he did not want it to end. The girl continued to speak gentle words of affection. The child did not speak at all. The girl then said something else. Speak the truth quietly and only if safe to do so she said. The child did not understand and he did not try to. All he cared about was the comfort he was feeling and he did not want it to end.

The sense of time had disappeared as stronger senses had taken over. The hug may have lasted 3 minutes or it may have been 15 minutes. Then people could be heard approaching along the road. The girl quickly let go, as if she had sensed she had done wrong and was in trouble and she hurried off without a word.

The child also sensed wrongdoing and he hid. The child never seen the girl again after that.

It happens sometimes that something that seems so right at the time, when looked back on, can be seen as wrong because of current views and therefore turns around to trouble and haunt the person.

But sometimes a memory which was fondly remembered can become more treasured with time as has happened with the child.

And sometimes he will wonder with regret or even guilt why he just stood there and did not put his arms around the girl.

Sometimes the memory is revisited and the memory is seen through the perspective of an older person. At the time the words spoken by the girl did not need to be understood by the child as the only thing that mattered was what was happening.

On reflection, the words "speak the truth quietly and only if safe to do so" would not be expected to be understood by a 10 year old. Was she referring to what was happening? But nothing wrong had happened. Or was she just talking about something else that only she would understand?

The meaning in the girl's mind will never be known. But a meaning to what was said eventually became relevant.