beaucoup

it's funny how you'll find one guy...and then you'll find 50 more during that same time. when you can't find a single boy and you feel like there's nobody of interest...there really is NOBODY.
right now i'm in the second situation, and it is more than frustrating. no, i don't need a guy, but i want one. i'm not one of those insecure girls who always needs a guy by her side, i think it would just be a nice change to have one by my side finally. yeah, i'm picky. do i have that right? can i afford to be picky? regardless of the answer to that question, i'm going to stay this way because frankly, i can't lower my standards-it's been attempted and success was nowhere close. it is what it is, i guess.


i love the orange county surfer boys i've grown up with. they're the only type of boys i knew until i left CA, but since moving to VA, i discovered these so-called 'southern gentlemen' who have great manners and are just plain kind for the most part. my best friends from home are two boys i hold on an incredibly high pedestal because unlike many in the area, they're genuinely nice and sincerely caring, which is impressive for a boy in my area. so i guess it's better that i'm out here, not wasting time on jerks...instead, i'm wasting no time on nobody...but i'm not sure i like it...
i want somethin real that makes my heart race and insides go crazy...but i guess it's just going to be me, waiting...at least for now.