why is it? (19)

thanks for that
Il try to be wiser in future and not move half way across the country for a girl.. the lease in this place isnt up till april

same reason men cheat

i think i am too nice i give and be there for girls too much

Sorry to hear that, chucky..

People cheat for all kinds of reasons; men and women..its never nice, and it hurts.just give yourself time, my man..

Re the flat lease, can you not give notice? Maybe it will allow you to move on..

Good luck.

hi thanks 4 that advice i gave notice today and they are letting me move out the end of the month oh happy days....

I'm in a pretty similar boat. Moved half way around the globe to be with this girl, and it's ended with her realising she has now 'developed feelings for someone else' - It sucks. But, I know that I'm partly to blame. She didn't quite get to cheating on me tho - at least she told me how she was feeling before letting it go too far - so that was marginally better than my other two relationships, both of which ended in pretty much the same way. Although, it feels pretty similar.

I don't know anything about you, or your (x)relationship, but I'm trying to see this as a chance to take a step back and reevaluate who I am, and to try and understand why this has happened (again). Only problem is, that in reality, I know only too well why it happened, and I accept that I am partly to blame (if you can blame yourself for being who you are!).

What I need to do now is to accept that the part of me that is responsible is something I need to change about myself. And to ACTUALLY CHANGE it (the hard part), which for me means becoming a really different person, in some ways. If I don't, this WILL happen again next time I'm sure of it.

My mum, who has just recently split up with her husband of 30 years and just conquered cancer (fingers crossed) had some really positive stuff to say on the subject. I posted it on my profile as I thought that others would surely benefit from the wise words (which were not her own, but they were said to her by a friend in her time of need, and they really helped her though it, as they are for me now)

Check it out, maybe you can relate to it too?... (you can find them on my profile page, taking up the entire second half of the 'About me' spiel!)

Since the main reason for my own break up was to do with me not being social enough, I'll probably stick around here for a while and see if I can break out of my mold. Otherwise, I'll probably go to some other country, and try and make a new life for myself there, again. But, I kind of think that would be like running away from things, and that I'd be better off staying around here and making a go of things here and making the changes to my own self right now, while I'm still thinking about it so much. I suspect that if I just up and leave, moving my home, again, wouldn't solve the actual problem, and instead just let me put them aside for a while, only to find it resurfacing again further down the road, with yet another relationship suffering the same, horrible, painful fate.

Apologies for talking about myself so much in your forum post! But talking about this so openly is the only way I have been able to fully understand the reasons behind it. And, I have learned a lot more about myself though doing so, which can only be a good thing, even if it has taken such a painful thing like this to make that happen).

thats the longest post ive even seen

How socail were you expected to be? MAybe it was an excuse for the other person? Only you will know the difference between the 2..

As with each expereince we have in life, we live and learn from it. Having read you post, btw You have clearly reflected and became self aware, which in turn will bring a greater knowledge to your future.............

I wouldn't really say that I was expected to be more sociable, but I do know that had I been more so, in all likeliness this would't have happened. I found myself wanting to use it as an excuse to blame the other person, but I know deep down that it is a part of me, and that it is always something I have wished wasn't, and that I could deal with social situations better, but have felt so much that 'that is just who I am' that I have effectively ended up convincing myself that I am happy to be as sociable (or unsociable) as I have been - when the reality is that I'm not. [I don't know if that last mammoth sentence reads at all well!]



Agreed, I think that is exactly what I'm trying to do; reflect, and learn, and act.

thanks for taking the time to read my short essay, TurkishDelight!