Real Scottish Humour....aye we can laugh out ourselves.. (38)
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Thats just our average Scotty guy bettyboop..
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In response to: Real Scottish humour..
That is a contridiction in terms!!
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In response to: A scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore a small island,as he reagins consiousness on the beach,he sees a beautiful unclad woman sranding over him she asks "Would you like some food?" The scot hoarsely croaks "Yes please I havent eaten for a week Im very hungry"
She disappears quickly into the woods and comes back with a basket of food when he has choked it down she asks "Would you like something to drink?"."Oh yes that food has made me very thirsty I would very much like a drink" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75 yrs old single malt whisky.the scotsman is beginning to think he in heaven when the unclad woman leans closer and say "would you like to play around?"..."Oh you beautiful woman dont tell me you`ve got a golf course here too.....
She disappears quickly into the woods and comes back with a basket of food when he has choked it down she asks "Would you like something to drink?"."Oh yes that food has made me very thirsty I would very much like a drink" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75 yrs old single malt whisky.the scotsman is beginning to think he in heaven when the unclad woman leans closer and say "would you like to play around?"..."Oh you beautiful woman dont tell me you`ve got a golf course here too.....
typical!
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Typical male ------ This thread is Archived ------
goney keep postin em till someone laughs...cant believe there is only a couple on here wae a sense of humour... 
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A scottish man and an engilsh man are walking by the canal the scottishman says "Oh look a dead bird!!"...the english man looks up the sky an says "where ?"
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bettyboop63: goney keep postin em till someone laughs...cant believe there is only a couple on here wae a sense of humour... .. .... ..
you are doin' great hen ...... keep 'em coming ....
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bettyboop63: A scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore a small island,as he reagins consiousness on the beach,he sees a beautiful unclad woman sranding over him she asks "Would you like some food?" The scot hoarsely croaks "Yes please I havent eaten for a week Im very hungry"
She disappears quickly into the woods and comes back with a basket of food when he has choked it down she asks "Would you like something to drink?"."Oh yes that food has made me very thirsty I would very much like a drink" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75 yrs old single malt whisky.the scotsman is beginning to think he in heaven when the unclad woman leans closer and say "would you like to play around?"..."Oh you beautiful woman dont tell me you`ve got a golf course here too.....
She disappears quickly into the woods and comes back with a basket of food when he has choked it down she asks "Would you like something to drink?"."Oh yes that food has made me very thirsty I would very much like a drink" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75 yrs old single malt whisky.the scotsman is beginning to think he in heaven when the unclad woman leans closer and say "would you like to play around?"..."Oh you beautiful woman dont tell me you`ve got a golf course here too.....
lol
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bettyboop63: goney keep postin em till someone laughs...cant believe there is only a couple on here wae a sense of humour... .. .... ..
.
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ContraryCol: .
great costume....
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An arrtactive young woman walks up to the bar in a rural pub,She signals the barman to bring his face close to hers"Are you the manager",she asks running her finger through his hair."No," he replies "Can you give him a message?" she asks,stroking his face and allowing two fingers to slip into his mouth,so he can suck them gently....."Tell him there is no toilet roll"...
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bettyboop63: great costume....
Thank you.And I did all my own makeup.
But dont cast asperssions!!
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ContraryCol: Thank you.And I did all my own makeup.
But dont cast asperssions!!
But dont cast asperssions!!
i wont...
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Double glazing in scotland is doing great business in the hope that the chlidren cannot hear the ice cream van....
Angus called in on his friend Donald to find him stripping the wallpaper from the walls "You`re decorating I see"...to which donald replied"No Im moving house"
Old Tam who had lost all his teeth had a visit from the minister who noted that Tam had a bowl full of almonds.."My brother gave me those but you can have them I dont want them" said old Tam.The minister tucked into them and said "That was a funny present to give a man with no teeth" To which old Tam replied "Not really they had chocolate on them!!!"
A scotsman took a girl for a taxi ride she was so beautiful he couldnt keep his eye on the meter...
Angus called in on his friend Donald to find him stripping the wallpaper from the walls "You`re decorating I see"...to which donald replied"No Im moving house"
Old Tam who had lost all his teeth had a visit from the minister who noted that Tam had a bowl full of almonds.."My brother gave me those but you can have them I dont want them" said old Tam.The minister tucked into them and said "That was a funny present to give a man with no teeth" To which old Tam replied "Not really they had chocolate on them!!!"
A scotsman took a girl for a taxi ride she was so beautiful he couldnt keep his eye on the meter...
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scousedon: Sorry just dont get this one.
sorry my mistake it should say..."only one turned up"....
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bettyboop63: sorry my mistake it should say..."only one turned up"....
Ha, now it makes sense
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bettyboop63: sorry my mistake it should say..."only one turned up"....
Can forgive the mistake, but need to know.... from which boyfriend did you borrow the T-shirt ?
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Englishman55: Can forgive the mistake, but need to know.... from which boyfriend did you borrow the T-shirt ?
I got it specially made to remind my ex why we were separated so he would stop harrassing me...an it worked...
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Created: Oct 2009
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She disappears quickly into the woods and comes back with a basket of food when he has choked it down she asks "Would you like something to drink?"."Oh yes that food has made me very thirsty I would very much like a drink" She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75 yrs old single malt whisky.the scotsman is beginning to think he in heaven when the unclad woman leans closer and say "would you like to play around?"..."Oh you beautiful woman dont tell me you`ve got a golf course here too.....