HealthyLivingOPSomewhere In, Tennessee USA4,775 posts
Putting attention on your feelings gets you closer to the state of witnessing; you observe the pain without getting wrapped up in all the secondary blame, avoidance, and denial that usually follows.
In the act of witnessing, insight becomes possible. It takes detachment to bring understanding, and if you get caught up in your hurt, you won’t see the reason behind it. No one can hurt you today without triggering a hurt from your past. You have to see that in order to find yourself.
As you learn to say, “I feel hurt,” and really be with that feeling, more openness will develop. The emotions that frighten us are the complex ones, because they overwhelm the natural release mechanism. You cannot simply release guilt or depression. They are secondary formations that arose once you forgot how to release hurt.
The more hurt you honestly feel, the more comfortable you will be with pain, because the ability to release it will grow. As this happens, you will feel easier about all your other emotions. (To a blocked mind, feeling “positive” emotions such as love and trust is often just as difficult as feeling “negative” emotions such as hate and distrust. Both are blocked by old unresolved hurts.)
Feeling easy with your emotions means that you won’t get so entangled in other people’s. Instead of blaming the ones who hurt you, you will be able to forgive.
The lessons of this exercise are very profound, and it puts you back into the present, and present-moment awareness never ages. It is the same when you are 5 or 85. The discovery of freedom in the present opens the door for the permanent experience of timelessness, in which past, present, and future are revealed as illusions compared to the true reality, which is always here and now.
Adapted from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1998).
Interesting post, and again I agree with Deepak Chopra's insights. It's true that you have to truly feel your emotions first in order to release them. This is why I recommend an occasional "dark night of the soul"...a time to sit with your pain, truly feel all of it, and through that experience release the tears and the pain to heal it. It's rough the first time because we're so used to bottling all of that inside, or pushing it away and ignoring it, blotting it out with drugs or alcohol...anything to avoid feeling it. And yet once we allow ourselves to sit with it, focus on it, and feel it we find it's not so bad after all, and it becomes easier.
Ya see Dru...?? that is one of the reasons I guess I bonded with HealthyLiving.. Being a combat soldier and mostly seeing the bad in humanity and what we as human beings can and do to each other, the depth of hurt and pain we can and are able to promote.. HealthyLiving restored, and has put my faith back in humanity making me realize that "all is not lost".. NOW CRIPES..!! I cannot believe I've just spouted this dribble..!! ---SoldierByte---
SoldierByte: Ya see Dru...?? that is one of the reasons I guess I bonded with HealthyLiving.. Being a combat soldier and mostly seeing the bad in humanity and what we as human beings can and do to each other, the depth of hurt and pain we can and are able to promote.. HealthyLiving restored, and has put my faith back in humanity making me realize that "all is not lost".. NOW CRIPES..!! I cannot believe I've just spouted this dribble..!! ---SoldierByte---
Believe me, SB, I've seen the bad in humanity myself...all too much of it in my life...and yet, my faith in the general god of humanity remains intact.
I'm glad that my friend HL has been able to restore yours. You seem like a good man that I've liked since you came into the forums for your sense of humor and for being so real. I wish the two of you the best.
And the dribble-spouting may wear off over time, or it may not...and it's best when it doesn't. That's what I wish for both of you.
HealthyLivingOPSomewhere In, Tennessee USA4,775 posts
I believe that as we deal with hurts from our past, in a Healthy way, healing occurs, which enables us to live in the NOW in a Positive and Healthy way.
I have counseled many, with the help of the "helper", the Holy Spirit, inviting Him into the memory of the painful event and allowing Him to settle the matter in that past moment, the way He sees fit for that individual.
In one session, my client invited Jesus into the situation where she was being abused by a man. Jesus punched the man in the nose! The woman felt justice was served, she regained her self-esteem, and was able to get on with her life without the hauntings of her past.
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In the act of witnessing, insight becomes possible. It takes detachment to bring understanding, and if you get caught up in your hurt, you won’t see the reason behind it. No one can hurt you today without triggering a hurt from your past. You have to see that in order to find yourself.
As you learn to say, “I feel hurt,” and really be with that feeling, more openness will develop. The emotions that frighten us are the complex ones, because they overwhelm the natural release mechanism. You cannot simply release guilt or depression. They are secondary formations that arose once you forgot how to release hurt.
The more hurt you honestly feel, the more comfortable you will be with pain, because the ability to release it will grow. As this happens, you will feel easier about all your other emotions. (To a blocked mind, feeling “positive” emotions such as love and trust is often just as difficult as feeling “negative” emotions such as hate and distrust. Both are blocked by old unresolved hurts.)
Feeling easy with your emotions means that you won’t get so entangled in other people’s. Instead of blaming the ones who hurt you, you will be able to forgive.
The lessons of this exercise are very profound, and it puts you back into the present, and present-moment awareness never ages. It is the same when you are 5 or 85. The discovery of freedom in the present opens the door for the permanent experience of timelessness, in which past, present, and future are revealed as illusions compared to the true reality, which is always here and now.
Adapted from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1998).