Thinking out loud (45)
somechick: If there's really nothing going on other than friendship why break it off?
I have alot of male friends who have Imore trust in than I do any of my female friends and wouldn't end those male friendships for anything in the world.
I have alot of male friends who have Imore trust in than I do any of my female friends and wouldn't end those male friendships for anything in the world.
Hi Chick,
No, there is nothing going on....he is on the other side of a rather large ocean and has only been communicating via email here at cs since last March....I understand what you are saying.....I myself have little or no female friends....I find I get on better with Men...but I also find they have a problem keeping there distance under control.....
I hope I have a bit more then a stocking for Christmas. I would much prefer the whole package this time 
Goddess4u: I hope I have a bit more then a stocking for Christmas. I would much prefer the whole package this time
Cute Goddess.....cute.....I do know what you mean....
stefonline: Thank's Gozo.....for taking the time to air your point of view....I really like your last paragraph....I know he is a good and decent Man and I'm possibly reading more into it than there is....but I'm just so worried if his wife found out and that he never said to her that he was writing to me....do you think he should tell her or would that be considered his own business....
Just a personal point of view....why should he? tell his partner I mean?
...some do....some don't....depends on the particular couple and the kind of relationship they have....
gozoman2: Just a personal point of view....why should he? tell his partner I mean?
...some do....some don't....depends on the particular couple and the kind of relationship they have....
...some do....some don't....depends on the particular couple and the kind of relationship they have....
I dont know Gozo....I really dont know anymore.....so out of touch with the whole male female thing.....
stefonline: I dont know Gozo....I really dont know anymore.....so out of touch with the whole male female thing.....
This is personal.....I keep my personal life private...I do not discuss things openly....each individual relationship I have....remains private....maybe ultimately...that is what keeps my real friends so....trust......
gozoman2: This is personal.....I keep my personal life private...I do not discuss things openly....each individual relationship I have....remains private....maybe ultimately...that is what keeps my real friends so....trust......
I get what you mean....but it's not like I was having a full blown relationship with him if you know what I mean.....I never mentioned names here so it is all very private....this could be a hypothecial situation....but it's not...
I agree trust.....
stefonline: I dont know Gozo....I really dont know anymore.....so out of touch with the whole male female thing.....
Don't look at it as a male/female thing, just as a person.
Hmmmmm .....
I might be looking at this from the wrong perspective, but something about this thouroughly decent honest man tells me that he was communicating with you without his wife's knowledge...
.. also , if he is married, then why would he be on here in the first place - this is a dating site afterall ... !! Thouroughly decent guys who are happily married dont join dating sites and chat to unattached ladies.
I suspect that he is maybe not quite so decent and honourable as you think he may be, but that is just my opinion from what has been posted so far .....
I might be looking at this from the wrong perspective, but something about this thouroughly decent honest man tells me that he was communicating with you without his wife's knowledge...
.. also , if he is married, then why would he be on here in the first place - this is a dating site afterall ... !! Thouroughly decent guys who are happily married dont join dating sites and chat to unattached ladies.
I suspect that he is maybe not quite so decent and honourable as you think he may be, but that is just my opinion from what has been posted so far .....
kidatheart: Don't look at it as a male/female thing, just as a person.
Hi Kid,
I will do.....but the male/female thingy has a slight difference.....
stefonline: Yes, this is true.....I find when you tell others that you are friends with a guy they immediately jump to conclusions that there is something going on....
I know what you mean Steph, I have a lot of friends who are women, although when I was married, it was never an issue about my mailing them - they were (after all) just friends, but the point is that my wife knew about them ..
victor_meldrew: Hmmmmm .....
I might be looking at this from the wrong perspective, but something about this thouroughly decent honest man tells me that he was communicating with you without his wife's knowledge...
.. also , if he is married, then why would he be on here in the first place - this is a dating site afterall ... !! Thouroughly decent guys who are happily married dont join dating sites and chat to unattached ladies.
I suspect that he is maybe not quite so decent and honourable as you think he may be, but that is just my opinion from what has been posted so far .....
I might be looking at this from the wrong perspective, but something about this thouroughly decent honest man tells me that he was communicating with you without his wife's knowledge...
.. also , if he is married, then why would he be on here in the first place - this is a dating site afterall ... !! Thouroughly decent guys who are happily married dont join dating sites and chat to unattached ladies.
I suspect that he is maybe not quite so decent and honourable as you think he may be, but that is just my opinion from what has been posted so far .....
Hi Victor,
It has been suggested that it dosn't matter whether he tells his wife or not if he has friends.....
The fact that he is married and remains faithful....well...
But dose that mean that he cant frequent Mens clubs....talk to other women....etc.....if so is he being a cheat....
victor_meldrew: I know what you mean Steph, I have a lot of friends who are women, although when I was married, it was never an issue about my mailing them - they were (after all) just friends, but the point is that my wife knew about them ..
Well that is good Victor.....I just dont think his wife knows about me and in any case what is there to know....a couple of letters here and there a few gifts sent.....is there harm done here or not.....
stefonline: Hi Victor,
It has been suggested that it dosn't matter whether he tells his wife or not if he has friends.....
The fact that he is married and remains faithful....well...
But dose that mean that he cant frequent Mens clubs....talk to other women....etc.....if so is he being a cheat....
It has been suggested that it dosn't matter whether he tells his wife or not if he has friends.....
The fact that he is married and remains faithful....well...
But dose that mean that he cant frequent Mens clubs....talk to other women....etc.....if so is he being a cheat....
personally i would say that's his call,not yours.
as long as your not aiding and abetting inappropriate behaviour where his wife's concerned.something has obviously made you uncomfortable with the status quo however,i would trust my instincts..
Steph, is there harm done there ?
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
stefonline: Hi Kid,
I will do.....but the male/female thingy has a slight difference.....
I will do.....but the male/female thingy has a slight difference.....
Sometimes more than just slight.
I have female friends I've known for over 30 years, and meet new ones occasionally. That will never end, doesn't matter who else is in my life, and if anyone were to suggest I should choose between them, they'd be the first one gone. Mind you, I wouldn't hide the fact I have women friends, or who they are, so that might be the difference in your case.
victor_meldrew: Steph, is there harm done there ?
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
It's not a realtionship it's a developed friendship from across the deep deep pond....there are no details other than what I mentioned....well no explicit ones.....
victor_meldrew: Steph, is there harm done there ?
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
Not on the face of it, but who knows?? maybe not on your part, but on his ..?
But i think that the potential was there - if he is swapping gifts and letters with you without his wifes knowledge, it could be very easy for her to put two and two together and get five if she ever did find out....
just my opinion - not trying to tell you what is right or wrong here: after all, you have all the details about your relationship, not me .
It's not a realtionship it's a developed friendship from across the deep deep pond....there are no details other than what I mentioned....well no explicit ones.....
kidatheart: Sometimes more than just slight.
I have female friends I've known for over 30 years, and meet new ones occasionally. That will never end, doesn't matter who else is in my life, and if anyone were to suggest I should choose between them, they'd be the first one gone. Mind you, I wouldn't hide the fact I have women friends, or who they are, so that might be the difference in your case.
I have female friends I've known for over 30 years, and meet new ones occasionally. That will never end, doesn't matter who else is in my life, and if anyone were to suggest I should choose between them, they'd be the first one gone. Mind you, I wouldn't hide the fact I have women friends, or who they are, so that might be the difference in your case.
I dont know Kid.....I actually never asked him had he told his wife that he had penpal lady friends....he could be writing to many for all I know and that too is none of my business....
I have male friends and if anyone enters my life I wont be saying goodbye to them any day soon either....
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I have alot of male friends who have I more trust in than I do any of my female friends and wouldn't end those male friendships for anything in the world.