advice wanted (56)
Phoenixparis, Ile-de-France France89 Threads 23 Polls 2,325 Postssukatai: you should relish the fact that you have them so close, one day they will be gone and you would love to just sit there for an hour and chat, a few hours a week to give them time is nothing, they gave you all your life of there time. jmo
Sorry now johnny you know I'm only saying what I think here nothing to offend you personally. . . It's a horrible way to speak about your parents, they actually raised you for whatever number or years and you can't even be arsed to see them once a week. . My mother gets on my nerves still tells me what to do and how to do it, it's a case of smiling nodding and dealing with them for a couple of hours. . Oh and for somebody who wants to be threated like an adult you seem to be acting like a spoilt brat stamping his foot because his mam and dad won't give him his way. . JMO mind!
i live a hour away from my parents, sometime i visit them for whole weekend, If no plans, sometime, mum visit for me, stay here for few days, break from the farm,
I don't get on with my dad, He still treat me like a child, still tell me off ect. or don't talk lol! but i will still go and visit them, as they have been good to me in the pass, I left the farm, in 2007, my dad only visit me twice, but no problem visit them. I know, my folks had a bad year last year, with his illness, but does take it out, on his love ones! but i still love my folks!
even he tell me to sell my car, and get rid of my dog, that when i get annoy
I don't get on with my dad, He still treat me like a child, still tell me off ect. or don't talk lol! but i will still go and visit them, as they have been good to me in the pass, I left the farm, in 2007, my dad only visit me twice, but no problem visit them. I know, my folks had a bad year last year, with his illness, but does take it out, on his love ones! but i still love my folks!
even he tell me to sell my car, and get rid of my dog, that when i get annoy
sukatai: you should relish the fact that you have them so close, one day they will be gone and you would love to just sit there for an hour and chat, a few hours a week to give them time is nothing, they gave you all your life of there time. jmo
In response to: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
I think you should just sit down with them and talk to them honestly about how you feel. Maybe agree to every second Sunday or just say, you'll call when you can. Explain the way youre feeling. Many parents, Irish Mummies in particular dont like cutting the apron strings but at the end of day, they want whats best for you and for you to be happy. Be honest with them and they will see where youre coming from. I appreciate that youre not a ''Mummy's Boy'' but always remember, you might need your Mammy and Daddy again someday. Plus, many people would love concened parents like yours. Dont throw that away completely. Blood is thicker than water but I can appreciate your need for independence as well. Just be HONEST with them, they will understand. Good Luck
In response to: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
Great post. I agree. thumbsup:
I know you have said you have talked to them, JH but it might be worth another try. Probably not a good idea to fall out with them over it because you might regret after they are gone. I can relate because my folks can be very over protective sometimes and I do find myself having to lie to them sometimes just to keep the peace. Having said that, I am lucky to have them. I would be lost without them sometimes like when I was sick last Christmas. Anyway communication i think is they key....JMO.
bobbiesworld: if i could afford my own place, i'd probly cut off all tie's to my family.
So your using your family?
singlegalway: So your using your family?
jonathan_heart: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
Please don't cut your parents out of your life... you will cause them so much pain and anguish - pain that you will never know about or fully appreciate.... sure all our parents can drive us 'bats' - my dad still worries about me being in town late (how ridiculous is that) - so maybe you can compromise ... change the days around / say something ... or whatever.... but they won't be around forever
jonathan_heart: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
Please don't cut your parents out of your life... you will cause them so much pain and anguish - pain that you will never know about or fully appreciate.... sure all our parents can drive us 'bats' - my dad still worries about me being in town late (how ridiculous is that) - so maybe you can compromise ... change the days around / say something ... or whatever.... but they won't be around forever
It's up to you really Jonathan, but if you are living nearby, I wouldn't think once a week on a Sunday is unreasonable. If you feel they are cramping your style and you need more independence then maybe you should consider moving further, but to be honest I wouldn't base decision like that on not wanting to call over every Sunday.
I'm sure you can strike a balance whereby they still see you regularly but you are not expected to be there every week. But don't forget that they are still your family at the end of the day. There will be a day where there won't be parents to visit for Sunday dinner and you'll miss it then. JMO
I'm sure you can strike a balance whereby they still see you regularly but you are not expected to be there every week. But don't forget that they are still your family at the end of the day. There will be a day where there won't be parents to visit for Sunday dinner and you'll miss it then. JMO
In response to: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
Well in a perfect world we would all love to spend time with our parents and everything would be great. We would appreciate how much they did for us and the sacrifices that they made for us.
We would like to make all the time we spent with them matter so that we could remember it when they are gone.
Unfortunately that is not always how life is. I have known people who just could not have a close relationship with their parents and in order to maintain any kind of relationship they had to move on and set boundaries on demands being made on their time.
I lost my parents when I was very young. I was very close to my mother(my father too but I only have childhood memories of him) and yes, I would love to have Sunday dinner with her again.
I could never understand how someone could not want to spend time with their parents and some of them saw it as a chore.
However, having said that I have seen friends through the years who did not have that close relationship with their parents and I would never say...Oh you are lucky to have them.
I would say JH, that you have to do whatever it takes so that you do not feel obligated to call up whenever they want you to.
I do not think that you should feel you have to move far away but just make it clear that your home is your space and that your time is precious to you and that you need to have your own life.
Of course I would still think that it would be nice to respect that they are still your parents and make some time for them on your terms. From what you have said it appears that talking has not worked so you will probably just have to make certain changes in how you allocate your time and hope that in time they will come to see that you have your own life and accept that you cannot be a full time part of theirs.
I am sure it is hard to try and deal with but at the end of the day it is your life and I would think that it is better to spend less time with them rather than resenting the time you do spend with them.
Hope it works out for you
jonathan_heart: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I have this as well!
I go into my mams about 3 or 4 times a week and like that most sundays I am asked to go over! Dont get me wrong I love to go over but sometimes I just love having the weekends to myself and do my own thing but the guilt kills me!
Her other half lives in the UK prob why i feel worse but sometimes ide love ta just come home n chill out!
jonathan_heart: need a bit of advice here. im almost 30 and live on my own, but i live fairly near to my parents place. thing is, they expect me to call up ever Sunday dinner, and sometimes ask me to call up more often. to be honest i find it all over-bearing. i mean, how many guys my age see their folks every week? i'm thinking of moving far away just to avoid it altogether
JH! Just on this one... Do you think it would be a different story if you were attached??
Minieme: JH! Just on this one... Do you think it would be a different story if you were attached??
yeah i wouldnt let them near her
jonathan_heart: yeah i wouldnt let them near her
LMAO! Different for fellas I suppose!!!
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