Does The L Word Lose Meaning? (49)
NO 
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venusenvy: NO
How not?
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NO!
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I thought for a moment when I saw the title to this thread, it was about the other L word - lady. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I hate that word like fingernails down a blackboard!!!
As for this L word, love is not finite and therefore not, divisible. Loving many people does not mean that each one gets only a share of your love - each one gets all of it.
Have you ever read Luigi Pirandello's short story, "War"?
Jac xxx
As for this L word, love is not finite and therefore not, divisible. Loving many people does not mean that each one gets only a share of your love - each one gets all of it.
Have you ever read Luigi Pirandello's short story, "War"?
Jac xxx
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Gosh a deep question MrInteresting,
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person..
its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it!
I HOPE I can practice what I preach...
for I know I truly want lasting love.....
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person..
its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it! I HOPE I can practice what I preach...
for I know I truly want lasting love.....------ This thread is Archived ------
Uh huh.
All true, of course.
But, assuming me we all meet someone else one day, and get strong feelings for them, doesn't it start to sound a little fake, if you have done it all before, and, more than once? I appreciate it is with someone new, but, in the end, it is a sort of game, because, she/he is clearly going to tell you the same stuff, despite probably having said it all before.
See what I mean?
All true, of course.
But, assuming me we all meet someone else one day, and get strong feelings for them, doesn't it start to sound a little fake, if you have done it all before, and, more than once? I appreciate it is with someone new, but, in the end, it is a sort of game, because, she/he is clearly going to tell you the same stuff, despite probably having said it all before.
See what I mean?
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jac379: Have you ever read Luigi Pirandello's short story, "War"?Jac xxx
No...but do go on..x
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MrInteresting: Uh huh.
All true, of course.
But, assuming me we all meet someone else one day, and get strong feelings for them, doesn't it start to sound a little fake, if you have done it all before, and, more than once? I appreciate it is with someone new, but, in the end, it is a sort of game, because, she/he is clearly going to tell you the same stuff, despite probably having said it all before.
See what I mean?
YES I do see what you mean, but the heart has a huge capacity to love....and numerous times I feel, hurt can make the heart scared or nervous, but the need and abillity to love is still there....saying I LOVE YOU again, well its up to the individual to feel it or not.. if YOU FEEL it then it has meaning, even if it is the millionth time you have said it.....with each love comes something new, if you DONT feel like saying it then DONT....only say it if you feel it....All true, of course.
But, assuming me we all meet someone else one day, and get strong feelings for them, doesn't it start to sound a little fake, if you have done it all before, and, more than once? I appreciate it is with someone new, but, in the end, it is a sort of game, because, she/he is clearly going to tell you the same stuff, despite probably having said it all before.
See what I mean?
For me it will never lose its meaning...but I wont be saying it lightly, thats for sure, and IF I dont feel it I wont say it.....
Its a personal belief and up to each person.
Well thats my opinon anyway.
PEACE ------ This thread is Archived ------
Let me think long and hard about that...................................................................
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MrInteresting: No...but do go on..x
You just reminded me of it, that's all. Whilst its a story about war, its also about love, the indivisibility of love and the rationale behind the loss of a loved one.
I just tried to google it to send you a link, but sorry, I'm way too tired and techno-stupid.
It comes highly recommended anyway, if it should ever come your way.
Jac xxx
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sweetlyscented1: Gosh a deep question MrInteresting,
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person.. its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it!
I HOPE I can practice what I preach... for I know I truly want lasting love.....
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person.. its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it!
I HOPE I can practice what I preach... for I know I truly want lasting love.....
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i dont know bout all that but i do know im super carefull bout using that word ive been in relationships wer the guy says it to me and ive just told them i dont know if im ready to say that to you or if i ever will be and a lot of times they keep saying it to me even after i let them know idk if thats how i feel. there are very few men ive ever said that to and regardless of if im with them i still love them.
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sweetlyscented1: Gosh a deep question MrInteresting,
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person.. its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it!
I HOPE I can practice what I preach... for I know I truly want lasting love.....
I have had 3 long term relationships, and it can be different in each case.... my first was childhood sweetheart and looking back I dont believe I really knew what true love was, I said I love you but only because I thought you had to....the second one was a whirlwind romance, and YES I did love him very much, but in time he killed that love with his womanizing behaviour so it eventually died, LOVE needs to be nurtured like a plant, given what it NEEDS to survive.
My third was only 4 years but I TRULY loved him with all my heart, it was differnt as I was older and understood the meaning of loving someone, and I DIDNT say it lightly it took sometime to say I LOVE YOU to him, but in the end I KNOW I loved him more than the others.
Right now I an a bit disillusioned, with LOVE, and wonder if it can last... but I have friends who have been married for over 20 years and I know and see they love each other as much to day as the first day if not more......so it CAN happen.
So I think YES you can still love as much and it CAN mean as much as it always did, as LONG as your true to yourself and the reason you are with the person.. its never easy and love can come and go.....we just have to hope we find the lasting kind....THIS TIME, and put in the efford needed for it to flourish and grow.....it really is all about EFFORT and COMMITMENT to the person..and wanting it!
I HOPE I can practice what I preach... for I know I truly want lasting love.....
i agree...I have had only one serious relationship and that was my marriage, i cant honestly say that it what i would call true love ..but it was what i thought love was suppose to be at the time being young and not really knowing what i wanted etc... I truly believe that the reason i ended up with my husband was to have my children whom I love with all my heart... after divorcing I chose to not be in a relationship and concentrate on being a parent ...knowing that when Once Ive learned more about myself and what I want in a relationship I would know when I was ready to get back out there..which i did... knowing who I am and what i want I believe will help to make a more lasting and fulfilling relationship .
I know that I will find the one that is right for me one day and in the mean time learn from the experiences that come my way.. When I say I love you to one person for me it will mean everything that it is suppose to mean because I dont give it easily and take it lightly ... I give love to friends easily and mean it when I tell them .... the other is a whole different type of love.
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Okay, will have a look myself, thank you.(at the book)
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
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That word does seem to have lost some of its meaning, in a way. All the "I love my car" "I love french fries" "I love my baseball team"....takes away the depth of the meaning of that word. What love represents in its purest form can't be diluted but I see what you mean about "the L word".
I think there is not limit to how many or to what degree we can feel what that word is supposed to represent, though.
I think there is not limit to how many or to what degree we can feel what that word is supposed to represent, though.
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MrInteresting: Okay, will have a look myself, thank you.(at the book)
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
Try thinking of it like Gandolf the Wizard. Remember when he first appeared he was Gandolf the Gray, then he died and came back as Gandolf the White and with much higher powers? Well relationships can be that way. It's all a journey. Your own personal heroic epic. Relationships start, they end, love grows, it fades - but with each one you gain insights. Play your cards right, and you will eventually find the one that brings all the strings of your life together, and you will appreciate them all the more for your past experiences.
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MrInteresting: Okay, will have a look myself, thank you.(at the book)
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
I know, it seems that infatuation is often mistaken for the real thing. So how do you know when it is a sincere expression of appreciation?
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Venusruled: I know, it seems that infatuation is often mistaken for the real thing. So how do you know when it is a sincere expression of appreciation?
I am not sure you can, not sure if you can really distinguish, v easily, at all.
People will think, 'Yes, I can see the difference', but if they were really honest about it, they would admit that even they have found it hard to distinguish, in the past.
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WhatUwish4: Try thinking of it like Gandolf the Wizard. Remember when he first appeared he was Gandolf the Gray, then he died and came back as Gandolf the White and with much higher powers? Well relationships can be that way. It's all a journey. Your own personal heroic epic. Relationships start, they end, love grows, it fades - but with each one you gain insights. Play your cards right, and you will eventually find the one that brings all the strings of your life together, and you will appreciate them all the more for your past experiences.
Ya know, to me, that is a lovely story, but it has a sort of happy even after ending to it, which is nice and everything, but is it realistic? You meet a lot of females in their 30's or older, on here, and, they are very cynical, to the stage that there would be no leeway, and they have got that way due to a series of failed loves/dissapointments. Which is fair enough - but it denies them, and the next person that comes along. My point is though - that maybe they are not choosing to be that way, maybe LIFE has made them cynical.
And that is a shame, imo..
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And, perhaps, during those, you either told them you loved them, or they told you, or both. That is fine. And perhaps you even meant it. Even if you have said it three, four, five times, with different people, perhaps you meant it, on each occasion, in a different way? And, maybe that have worked in reverse, you have had a number of others telling you that they love you, right?
Okay
But despite that, none of us are now with any of those people, which means, no matter how much they loved you, you loved them, it basically did not pan out. So it didn't make any difference.
Does there come a stage when, if you have said you love someone, to various people, that it begins to lose meaning, or, if it has been said to you, and obviously they are no longer around, does this sort of devalue it's meaning, for the next time?