Yes it is (imo), the conventional method of putting yourself out and about, seeing someone you like, and just having a conversation that may lead to a proper date, is actually VERY much easier than than using the net, as a means to meet someone.
I used to think it would be the other way around, but from the months I have tried it, and from speaking to other guys who gave it a try, at least once, there ratio of replies to messages appears to be v small. Tbf, I don't really use this site for dating or messages, however, a friend was on a site, POF(?), and reckons that the % of replies to messages, was like 10%, at best!
That is very low, however, not apparently uncommon, so, in reality, you would have a MUCH better opportunity if you just did it the old fasioned way!
Well, fella, by your own admission, you were a bit full on, initially. So, she took a step back. However, that was nice of her to remember about your mum. I assume that as part of this SMS she didn't suggest meeting up? Well, I would just chill, see what happens. Let her do the asking. That way you cannot be accused of being full on, again. I'd be for giving the lass the benefit of the doubt, but, of course, keep an eye out, lest she COULD be one of those who mess around, interested/not/interested, etc..
I am sorry to hear this, and, perhaps it serves as a warning to others?
Last year, I gave up everything I had, to move to the other side of the country, with a girl. I really believed in her, despite her having an acute mental health problem. Cost me thousands to make the move. A week later, without her meds, she came apart at the seams, leaving me beholden to her. I was in her flat, in her town, with no one I knew, around me. It was really horrible, and after three weeks, I had to raise another £2k to come back.
To be honest, and this is based on experience of forums in general, only on the net would such a relatively trivial comment or point grow arms and legs, to this degree.
I just use the forums as a bit of a gap filler, for the moment, when I am sat on the net, of an evening. I hope not to need that gap filled, in the not too distant future, because I find interacting with real people, in real life, you don't lose the subtext or humour that was perhaps intended, which you do, when it is cold words, on a screen.
I have spoken (in real life), to one person on here (no names), and I have to say, what we did most when we spoke, was actually laugh. Believe it or not. In fact, there wasn't something we didn't laugh at.
I think that there is a predispostion among some, usually men, but not exclusively, to tailor their views in the forums, according to what they feel the women reading would most want to hear. For example, were the men on here to be believed, they would always have been the one who had been unfairly dumped, all of them would always act like perfect gentlemen, indeed, they would all be so text book, that it is amazing that they are single!
Me? I prefer to be more real about life, and myself. What that means is that if I happen to think someone of 35 leeching off their parents is wrong, morally, and saying that upsets some people, then so be it, if they want to then judge me on that snapshot, they can fill their boots, to be honest with you.
I am comfortable in my own skin, as to who I am, how I am, in real life, so I wouldn't tailor my posts or views just to court approval from a mass.
'i also don t understand the point of the op in the first place. seems rather harshly judgemental and actually ignorant of some facts.
many many people in their 30s to 50s are now caregiving for their parents'
So, the point of my OP was people who actually take advantage of their parents, when they could just as easy get off their backside, and give their ageing parents some bloody peace!
I later stated, several times, that I experience I had, was with someone who was not there for HIS benefit, but for HER benefit, her dad was not ill, she just had it too good by living there, and that, for me, indicates a lack of responsibility in a 30something. So, why keep bringing a scenario about potentially ill or needy parents? It has NOTHING to do with anything in the OP. Nothing. So, if you keep repeating it, and making your other unsolicited observations, then, come on me duck, what do you expect ... flowers?
I am single right now, but definitely not afraid of commitment, therefore, when I am with someone, I am happy to concede some of my independence, I clearly don't have any issue with a female having kids, because I was with one women for 5yrs, and she had two, and, I've been v supportive when other g/f's have had some kind of other problem.
But if a 35 yr old women told that she had NEVER left home, and was really only there for her own financial ease, then, sure, I couldn't have done that, I would value that sense of independence too much.
If, in the future, my mother really needed me to be with them, I would, but I wouldn't go there just to make my financial life easier, when, with a little effort, I could have my own place, or share a place with a flatmate.
I have said that this was NOT the case, in the given example, and I then when on to say I OBVIOUSLY do not include situations in which health matters dictate.
You have to accept how the person was, when they came into the relationship, after all, that is why we went for them. As for 'change', any change that is worthy, and lasting, should come from the person needing to change (if they do), rather than have change forced on them.
No, it's entirely unhealthy, at least in the context in which I mean it.
Dependency is not love.
Of course, it goes without saying that two people in love, should be looking out for one another, however, a co dependent relationship is usually dysfunctional, with one, usually both, being overtly reliant on the other, to literally define themselves by. Like a person with a drink problem going out with someone who is abusive. They may stay together, even for a long time, but it is all down to this learned co dependency, rather than based on anything positive.
I would feel no sense of pride, if I had been living at home, since I were a child! It shows a lack of growing up, an over reliance on parents, and, in my experience, if they have never really had to live on their own, worry about bills, rents, etc, then they would likely be a bad match for someone who has led a more independent life.
This does NOT include - A Women having children, a temp measure, for practical reasons, health related reasons, just someone who would have no get up and go, or ambition to build a life for themselves, even if it is a tent, it is THEIR tent, THEIR space.
Who mentioned ties? Don't we all have them, in one way or another?
But their is a world of difference between that, and if you met a fella, who told ya he was really only staying with his mother to have an easy life, no?
As a short term thing, or if there was another GOOD reason, like ill health, I agree.
As a meal ticket, having lived there, all her life, and she would now be 35? Well, different strokes I suppose, but that, to me, it shows a lack of independence, tbh.
Well fella, know what, if I had never left my parents home, for no other reason than I could have an easier time financially, because of it, then I wouldn't be surprised if it put some women off, since it would show a lack of maturity and responsibity on my part, no?
MrInteresting Forum Posts (323)
Question to blokes (esp). Direct approach..?
It's more 'honest' in a way too, imo, rather than all this procrastination, and hesitation we sometimes impose on ourselves.A lot of people impose boundaries on themselves, which would not allow them to be so bold, imo.