Would this living arrngement make you concerned? (79)
I think it would be okay, for a few months, but, in the longer term, there would need to be more fairness in the arrangement, as I would always feel a bit vulnerable.
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Yeah I agree with you totally. I'd want my own place or a joint place
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No way!!! Rules from the start!!
MMMMMM is this why I'm still single??
MMMMMM is this why I'm still single??
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MrInteresting: I think it would be okay, for a few months, but, in the longer term, there would need to be more fairness in the arrangement, as I would always feel a bit vulnerable.
I think that moving in with them would always feel like you had to ask permission to shift things, or do things, or interact with what was there, because underlying everything would be the fact that it wasn't yours.
The balance and control would be all wrong.
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MrInteresting: Okay, imagine you meet someone, there is a lot of feeling there, on both sides, and, after a period of time, you decide to live with one another.
However, perhaps for one reason or another, you don't buy or rent the house together - you move in to their place.
If you liked the person enough, would this bother you?
However, perhaps for one reason or another, you don't buy or rent the house together - you move in to their place.
If you liked the person enough, would this bother you?
Not the greatest feeling living in somebody elses place. Always better to get a place together.
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Ive done both, moved in with a partner and had them move in with me...I dont think that will make a difference as to whether a relationship will work or not. 
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Would not bother me ..In fact when my late husband and I got together I moved into his home..no problem at all...
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venusenvy: Ive done both, moved in with a partner and had them move in with me...I dont think that will make a difference as to whether a relationship will work or not.
You never felt that they would be able to just throw the 'its my house thing' in your face, at any time?
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jac379: I don't see why it would make you feel vulnerable. Jac xxx
I think because I once placed myself in that situation, and lived to regret it. I seen how some people can use that situation to their advanatage, and, when they do, you are in trouble, because you legally have no rights!
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GingerBe: I think that moving in with them would always feel like you had to ask permission to shift things, or do things, or interact with what was there, because underlying everything would be the fact that it wasn't yours.
The balance and control would be all wrong.
The balance and control would be all wrong.
Yeah, see, I lean toward this.
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venusenvy: Ive done both, moved in with a partner and had them move in with me...I dont think that will make a difference as to whether a relationship will work or not.
It certainly shouldn't, or there's likely other issues beforehand.
What if it was a nice home, in a great location, and didn't need anything. Why would one sell it just to start all over again?
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MrInteresting: You never felt that they would be able to just throw the 'its my house thing' in your face, at any time?
Ive never had a relationship not work because of the house we lived in.
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kidatheart: It certainly shouldn't, or there's likely other issues beforehand.
What if it was a nice home, in a great location, and didn't need anything. Why would one sell it just to start all over again?
What if it was a nice home, in a great location, and didn't need anything. Why would one sell it just to start all over again?
Okay, she falls out with you, and you are instantly homeless, do not pass go. What would you do then?
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MrInteresting: No.
It's about working with what you have.
One of you may have children, for example, so it may not be feasible for them to just sell up, right away, at least, so, if you wanted to live with them, then you might, in the short term, have to be content with living there, and if she were nice, she would make me feel at home.
Obviously, a fresh place for both would be best, and easier if both presently just rent their homes.
It's about working with what you have.
One of you may have children, for example, so it may not be feasible for them to just sell up, right away, at least, so, if you wanted to live with them, then you might, in the short term, have to be content with living there, and if she were nice, she would make me feel at home.
Obviously, a fresh place for both would be best, and easier if both presently just rent their homes.
Well now there are a couple of points here that make me wonder just a tad.
This is all just based on what if's again. If this and if that. When does one actually stop all this and just take the bull by the horns and go for it. Give it a try. Who says that a new place for the two of you will be all sweet n rosy. It could fall to pieces.
I would not have a problem moving in with a partner if I had one to his place at all, because I would simply of spent enough time with them to know this was the right thing to do.
You make all these decisions before you actually move into together and actually COMMUNICATE with that person beforehand about how you might be feeling slightly vunerable. You would be amazed at how this could work wonders and solve all these "if this and if that".
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venusenvy: Ive never had a relationship not work because of the house we lived in.
that would tell you a lot about the relationship and it's inevitable failure. A great relationship is always about compromise and equality, after all we do love our partner do we not.------ This poll is Archived ------
kidatheart: It certainly shouldn't, or there's likely other issues beforehand.
What if it was a nice home, in a great location, and didn't need anything. Why would one sell it just to start all over again?
What if it was a nice home, in a great location, and didn't need anything. Why would one sell it just to start all over again?
Communication with this threa is the key Kid, and besides, surely you would of stayed over at their place and visa versa on numerous occasions, might even of spent the week there.
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MrInteresting: Okay, she falls out with you, and you are instantly homeless, do not pass go. What would you do then?
What, similar to a divorce?
How many millions of people have gone through it, and survived.
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MrInteresting: Okay, she falls out with you, and you are instantly homeless, do not pass go. What would you do then?
Sleep in the car?
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My spelling and sentence composition is crap this morning,!
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rider4u: that would tell you a lot about the relationship and it's inevitable failure. A great relationship is always about compromise and equality, after all we do love our partner do we not.
Seems to me thats more important than bricks and mortar
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MrInteresting: Okay, she falls out with you, and you are instantly homeless, do not pass go. What would you do then?
If you're anticipating these problems, then you're not secure enough in the relationship to be contemplating moving in to start with.
If you're in a relationship with a grown-up and things go wrong allowances should be made so that nobody ends up homeless.
Personally, I wouldn't move in with someone, have them move in with me, OR get a joint property unless I felt 100% secure that we couldn't both behave like reasonable human beings.
Jac xxx
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GingerBe: I think that moving in with them would always feel like you had to ask permission to shift things, or do things, or interact with what was there, because underlying everything would be the fact that it wasn't yours.
The balance and control would be all wrong.
The balance and control would be all wrong.
I agree. I think the best option is to rent or buy another place for the both of you.
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JAN_is: I agree. I think the best option is to rent or buy another place for the both of you.
Yours still up?------ This poll is Archived ------
Veritaas: Communication with this threa is the key Kid, and besides, surely you would of stayed over at their place and visa versa on numerous occasions, might even of spent the week there.
Yep, communication is always critical, and if you don't know who you're moving in with, then perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.
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bob1959: Yours still up?
Not for much longer.
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MrInteresting: Okay, she falls out with you, and you are instantly homeless, do not pass go. What would you do then?
Now what if, you did not have enough money for a deposit, what if you could go and stay with friends of family, what if you ended up in a hospital, what if you had to find a hotel, what if you ended up sleeping on the streets, what if you wandered aimlessly around for the next 10 years feeling totally dazed and confused.
Lets just say one would of thought they would be able to use their initiative and sort out something temporary, whilst arranging and permanent living space for themselves. Now that really does stand to reason and quite frankly is obvious.
Can I ask you a couple of questions?
Why do you ask so many questikons? (apart from the obvious that you are looking for discussion on various topics with different people and their opinions)?
Do you ever visit any of the other forum threads, or are you just here to discuss the various aspects of dating?
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kidatheart: Yep, communication is always critical, and if you don't know who you're moving in with, then perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.
Precisely Kid.
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venusenvy: Ive done both, moved in with a partner and had them move in with me...I dont think that will make a difference as to whether a relationship will work or not.
It depends on the type of person you've moved in with. I've had a situation were the home owning was used as an excuse to behave in a certain disrespectful way.
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whitec: I have tried this living arrangement, and it doesn't work you will feel like it is not your home as well it is better to get a place between the too of you it will feel like home then
For you it may not of worked but for others it does.
Both saving money for starters, split the bills, etc etc.
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52 Votes
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79 Comments
Created: Jun 2010
Last Viewed: Apr 23
Last Commented: Jun 2010
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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Would this living arrngement make you concerned?(Vote Below)
However, perhaps for one reason or another, you don't buy or rent the house together - you move in to their place.
If you liked the person enough, would this bother you?