I am not sure you can, not sure if you can really distinguish, v easily, at all.
People will think, 'Yes, I can see the difference', but if they were really honest about it, they would admit that even they have found it hard to distinguish, in the past.
Living, as I do, in Edinburgh, I have met a few Polish girls, not for dates, I mean in other circs, and, just about ALL of them were not only really pretty, and took care of themselves, but they dressed nicely, tastefully, and, if that were not enough, I found them to be hard working and intelligent, more so compared to the average Brit girl, of the same age.
Anyone else found this, with Polish girls?
Pity that the only Polish girls on most sites, are patently fake, with pics that came from a catalogue!
Okay, will have a look myself, thank you.(at the book)
Don't get me wrong, I am a person that was, and even is, still v open to giving love, and being loved, in return.
But I sometimes laugh if I read someone say 'My g/f has just told me that she loves me more than anyone she has ever loved..'.
Why?
Well, come on, think about it, she may well have feelings for the person saying that, I don't deny it, but that statement, it is utterly meaningless, I mean, she IS going to likely say that (rather than, 'Know what, you are the third most loved guy I have ever had').
But, assuming me we all meet someone else one day, and get strong feelings for them, doesn't it start to sound a little fake, if you have done it all before, and, more than once? I appreciate it is with someone new, but, in the end, it is a sort of game, because, she/he is clearly going to tell you the same stuff, despite probably having said it all before.
I am sure, like me, there are a good % of people on here, who have had a few 'serious' relationships, which, at that time, felt right, k?
And, perhaps, during those, you either told them you loved them, or they told you, or both. That is fine. And perhaps you even meant it. Even if you have said it three, four, five times, with different people, perhaps you meant it, on each occasion, in a different way? And, maybe that have worked in reverse, you have had a number of others telling you that they love you, right?
Okay
But despite that, none of us are now with any of those people, which means, no matter how much they loved you, you loved them, it basically did not pan out. So it didn't make any difference.
Does there come a stage when, if you have said you love someone, to various people, that it begins to lose meaning, or, if it has been said to you, and obviously they are no longer around, does this sort of devalue it's meaning, for the next time?
Maybe you were just unfortunate, in that one area? Or, maybe you didn't know these women as well as you thought, so should cool the rings, from now on?
However, in fairness to them, either could meet someone else, and not cheat in the future.
You are sort of the sum total of those that you surround yourself with. Therefore, if you feel they are unreliable, don't care, or don't give enough in return, then cut ties, and find a new circle. It can take a bit of work, but with a positive outlook and some effort, it can be done.
There can be no definitive answer to this, I feel.
It varies a lot, on a case by case basis.
Do you mean repititon with the same relationship, or across the board?
I don't think that it follows that if someone did this in one relationship, they would do it again. Who would know all the circs, right? As for the same relationship, I suppose it does make them a bit more likely, given that they have 'form', however, it is up to the other person to look at it closely, only the know if this was typical of their general behaviour, or if it really could have been a one off, that they regret, a lot.
Thing is, I have found that sometimes we can fall into the trap of waiting for things to happen, or following a format which didn't really work, before!
For me, I want to use this next decade to pursue some things that I have wanted to try for a long time, and it is only ME and fear that have held me back! I figured that after all my experiences in life, I may as well try these things, because, even if they all go wrong, I have grown a thick enough skin to deal with it, now.
It is about pushing your own boundaries, a little bit.
I was in two relationships that spanned 7 yrs, so this being single thing is new to me, again, and, for myself, and for others that post here, I really all hope we are NOT here, a year from now, posting stuff on a Sat night!
'Tis good if your happy, however, to me, it is a little sad that you opt to 'stop' dating, or keeping the door open, on the grounds that you have children.
Come on, there is some general truth there though, is there not?
A fella, he can get away with being a jack the lad, during his 20's, part of his 30's, but the idea of a 50 yr old jack the lad, embaressingly acting like he is still 20, is almost a bit sad.
I was sitting with a couple of old friends, the other night, ages 35-40.
We had not seen each other for a time, and, over the next couple of hours, we each related our own tales of relationship woe, and, general bad decisions.
In a moment of introspection, I then suggested that the following is true - That THE most crucial decade of your whole life, is the ten years, between 40-50.
Anything you have done before that, can usually be put in the past, you can start again, be that a relationship that goes wrog, or a bad work decision.
In your teens, 20's, maybe 30's, you can get away with trawling pubs, finding your own tales of getting drunk to be funny, and you can come back from it, because you still have a lot of time on your side.
However, at 40, I believe you have less margin for error. You can no longer be as careless in your choice of partners, because you don't want to waste more years. Same, you either find that you will have a choice between plodding along, doing the same job you have done for a time, or you have one final chance to go chase something different. If you pass up that chance in yor 40's, you are much less likely to be able to do it, in the future. If you are too skittish in your choice of partner, then when it goes wrong, it is more hassle than it was, when you ere younger.
Not saying that other decades are not also vital, just that those 40-50, are esp so.
Not saying that someone still cannot change their life at 50, just that it gets much tougher.
That said, I have met a lot of people who *claim* that they are alone, no one cares about them, and, sometimes, you have to watch, sometimes it is a trick, so that you feel sorry for them, and give them emotional currency. Later down the road, you find that the person was no quite as emotionally isolated as they made out, and that you have been manipulated.
I do think there is some merit in saying that a % of females tend to be drawn toward destructive relationships, and volatile partners. When they go out with someone quiet, polite, and not opionated, I know that many would take such a bloke for a ride, to be honest. It seems to bring out a manipulative streak, in some.
Maybe these women gravitate toward these relationships because it is what they are used to, from any early age? Maybe, growing up, they saw their mum and dad fight a lot, and feel that is 'normal', so, when 'nice' or 'quiet' is handed to them, they don't know what to do with it, it doesn't fit their psyche.
I didn't vote, since I do not feel it is accurate to say that NON ONE cares about 'us'.
Some here will have 100 people who really care for them, others will have just one or two, but rest assured, there will barely be a person here who has no one that cares about them.
Also, care is a two way street, so the person who complains most about perceived absence of 'care', from others, perhaps has to ask about their own level of care, for others, yes?
Our problem is expectation.
We 'expect' people to care, or be a certain way, and when their actual response falls short of that, we become dissapointed.
It is this sense of expectation or entitlement that is the source of the angst.
MrInteresting Forum Posts (323)
Pity that the only Polish girls on most sites, are patently fake, with pics that came from a catalogue!
Does The L Word Lose Meaning?
I am not sure you can, not sure if you can really distinguish, v easily, at all.People will think, 'Yes, I can see the difference', but if they were really honest about it, they would admit that even they have found it hard to distinguish, in the past.