The Ex Factor....... (19)
@ Twgstw ,lol the green eyed monster .
merrilou: @ Twgstw ,lol the green eyed monster .
Haha!
Ah yeah, there was that aspect to it too, ages ago.
But apparently the girl had trouble letting go and that just ended a few months ago, now there's this visit planned in a couple of months and I'm really not wanting to.
Thing is, I bet she's lovely I just don't want to know her.
I know it sounds awful, but I really don't!
@ Tgstw ... no girl it doesn't sound awful . You are beautiful and should never worry about his ex's . They are EX's for a reason .. You are his lady ,right ? Now act like it mamma
tgwstw: Haha!
Ah yeah, there was that aspect to it too, ages ago.
But apparently the girl had trouble letting go and that just ended a few months ago, now there's this visit planned in a couple of months and I'm really not wanting to.
Thing is, I bet she's lovely I just don't want to know her.
I know it sounds awful, but I really don't!
Ah yeah, there was that aspect to it too, ages ago.
But apparently the girl had trouble letting go and that just ended a few months ago, now there's this visit planned in a couple of months and I'm really not wanting to.
Thing is, I bet she's lovely I just don't want to know her.
I know it sounds awful, but I really don't!
Doesn't sound awful at all.
I just wonder as to why he wants you to meet her if there is no legacy between them, kids or properties or whatever
@ Lusciouslibra , Hi there .. Ah no I wouldn't worry about "him" wanting his GF to meet his ex .... to me it sounds like he is a well chilled guy .Saying that though , if it were me I would certainly be looking out for body lauguage etc ... just in case a game is being played.... but I take it that there is trust and mutual respect with the new relationship .
Oh Gosh, it's such a long story I can't share it on here but in short, as far as she's concerned I'm a new addition to his life, she's abroad and is planning to visit with family in a few months.
When we're actually a year together in September, I think in his defense she was the delicate/fragile emotional type , I definitely shouldn't be saying it here but I have no-one else to ask if I'm being unreasonable about this.
When we're actually a year together in September, I think in his defense she was the delicate/fragile emotional type , I definitely shouldn't be saying it here but I have no-one else to ask if I'm being unreasonable about this.
Oh Gosh, it's such a long story I can't share it on here but in short, as far as she's concerned I'm a new addition to his life, she's abroad and is planning to visit with family in a few months.
When we're actually a year together in September, I think in his defense she was the delicate/fragile emotional type , I definitely shouldn't be saying it here but I have no-one else to ask if I'm being unreasonable about this.
When we're actually a year together in September, I think in his defense she was the delicate/fragile emotional type , I definitely shouldn't be saying it here but I have no-one else to ask if I'm being unreasonable about this.
@ T... no you are just being human .. What you are feeling is normal .. sounds like they split on good terms and would like to "keep it nice" I say fair play to them if that is at all possible to do. You are together nearly a year and reading between the lines , seems like you are mad about him ? Not saying this to make you feel better btw ... but I would wager he feels the same about you..... As for the Ex being a needy sort .. just shows how nice your guy is , by remaining friendly with someone who maybe sapped his energy , no ? Neediness is not very attractive and hey it could have been the reason they split up.I think .
tgwstw: How would you feel about your partner/potential partner meeting your ex, or you meeting theirs?
Am I the only one that really isn't arsed about wanting to meet them, or be introduced?
I get it if kids are involved, if not, then I really feel that an ex should be an ex, if you parted amicably, great, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wanting to be friends with my partners ex.
Especially when there are other things that have happened to make me reluctant to do so, i.e failure to announce current relationship status and the like. Suddenly it seems that it's all over with and I'm to be mature and welcome the distant meeting with enthusiasm and a mature outlook.
I reckon I just spit out my dummy and say no.
Am I the only one that really isn't arsed about wanting to meet them, or be introduced?
I get it if kids are involved, if not, then I really feel that an ex should be an ex, if you parted amicably, great, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wanting to be friends with my partners ex.
Especially when there are other things that have happened to make me reluctant to do so, i.e failure to announce current relationship status and the like. Suddenly it seems that it's all over with and I'm to be mature and welcome the distant meeting with enthusiasm and a mature outlook.
I reckon I just spit out my dummy and say no.
I wouldn't have a problem with either. Well I wouldn't want to meet her ex if he had treated her badly. That would just make me mad.
merrilou: @ T... no you are just being human .. What you are feeling is normal .. sounds like they split on good terms and would like to "keep it nice" I say fair play to them if that is at all possible to do. You are together nearly a year and reading between the lines , seems like you are mad about him ? Not saying this to make you feel better btw ... but I would wager he feels the same about you..... As for the Ex being a needy sort .. just shows how nice your guy is , by remaining friendly with someone who maybe sapped his energy , no ? Neediness is not very attractive and hey it could have been the reason they split up.I think .
Ah he's sound and I am mad about him.
But the daily level of contact at the start was concerning and maybe in fairness to her, she wants to see if he has moved on, maybe a form of closure for her I just really don't want any part in it.
I am completely at ease with his side of things. On hers and I am a woman, I see it as her recent gathering of knowledge that he is now in a serious relationship and then the decision to visit to be a little odd.
I'm not a two faced person, I would be totally civil and polite but I know I wouldn't know what to say, it would be tense and awkward and I see it as pointless to be fair.
Hesser, have a chat with your fella. I dont think its right for him to meet his ex. Youre right to be concerned. From experience ive learned that exes generally only want to meet up if they think theres a chance of rekindling the relationship. If anything, your man agreeing to meet her would only be giving encouragement. My advice, nip it in the bud. Your man should understand
@ Ah ,I see ! There has been contact from her to him from the start of your and his relationship .Have to be honest with you , that would trouble me somewhat ... no a lot ! You are very good to have put up with her shananigans ... If you don't feel comfortable meeting this lady .... tell your guy and he should understand , really a loving relationship should have room in it for his/her needs ... in that you "need" to be heard that you don't wanna meet this lady ... Say it to your guy , ok ? See how it pans out .... To me ,it seems that he will understand and won't "force" you into doing it ... I completely understand where you are coming from ... Hey Flann O Brian : she is so jealous she'd hear a wink lol. I can be that way if I dont watch my 'tude , so I have to be major careful when I am in love 
James_Pond: Hesser, have a chat with your fella. I dont think its right for him to meet his ex. Youre right to be concerned. From experience ive learned that exes generally only want to meet up if they think theres a chance of rekindling the relationship. If anything, your man agreeing to meet her would only be giving encouragement. My advice, nip it in the bud. Your man should understand
I think I may have told you the ins and outs on one of our drunken nights.
He's an awesome guy but from all that has happened, the girl has had trouble letting go and is only aware of the fact that I exist recently, despite the much longer duration of our relationship.
I think he was being a nice guy, minding her feelings, she is no threat to me, she's in another country but I'm wondering if the visit idea transpired when she knew he was moving on.
I have no worries about his intentions at all, I will grin and bear it if I have to I just really don't understand why it has come about.
tgwstw: I think I may have told you the ins and outs on one of our drunken nights.
He's an awesome guy but from all that has happened, the girl has had trouble letting go and is only aware of the fact that I exist recently, despite the much longer duration of our relationship.
I think he was being a nice guy, minding her feelings, she is no threat to me, she's in another country but I'm wondering if the visit idea transpired when she knew he was moving on.
I have no worries about his intentions at all, I will grin and bear it if I have to I just really don't understand why it has come about.
He's an awesome guy but from all that has happened, the girl has had trouble letting go and is only aware of the fact that I exist recently, despite the much longer duration of our relationship.
I think he was being a nice guy, minding her feelings, she is no threat to me, she's in another country but I'm wondering if the visit idea transpired when she knew he was moving on.
I have no worries about his intentions at all, I will grin and bear it if I have to I just really don't understand why it has come about.
You've got mail
DUBLINGUY1973: You've got mail
Well Hess, your alot more level headed than I am, but if I were in you shoes theres not a snowballs chance in hell that I would met his ex. If the shoe were on the other foot would he like to go out for a few bevies with your ex?
Personally I find it hard to maintain any sort of freindship with an ex, I can be civil, but I no longer want to be a part of their life and I certainly wouldnt want to introduce a new partner to an ex.
You shouldn't feel bad about not wanting to meet because she is not really anything to do with you! If there was kids then yeah for sure but as much as he is trying to be nice or spare her,
they have a past!I always find that I go through stages of reminiscing with fondness when I see my ex or just thinking thank god we are not together!
Still no matter what, anyone that a person has had a connection or a past with will always hold a certain allure and I wouldn't be over friendly(courtious,yes) with an ex cuz it is a bit disrespectful in my view to whoever your with, although I know several people who are friends with their exes but the one common thread between them is the rows with their OH over it.
they have a past!I always find that I go through stages of reminiscing with fondness when I see my ex or just thinking thank god we are not together!
Still no matter what, anyone that a person has had a connection or a past with will always hold a certain allure and I wouldn't be over friendly(courtious,yes) with an ex cuz it is a bit disrespectful in my view to whoever your with, although I know several people who are friends with their exes but the one common thread between them is the rows with their OH over it.
tgwstw: How would you feel about your partner/potential partner meeting your ex, or you meeting theirs?
Am I the only one that really isn't arsed about wanting to meet them, or be introduced?
I get it if kids are involved, if not, then I really feel that an ex should be an ex, if you parted amicably, great, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wanting to be friends with my partners ex.
Especially when there are other things that have happened to make me reluctant to do so, i.e failure to announce current relationship status and the like. Suddenly it seems that it's all over with and I'm to be mature and welcome the distant meeting with enthusiasm and a mature outlook.
I reckon I just spit out my dummy and say no.
Am I the only one that really isn't arsed about wanting to meet them, or be introduced?
I get it if kids are involved, if not, then I really feel that an ex should be an ex, if you parted amicably, great, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wanting to be friends with my partners ex.
Especially when there are other things that have happened to make me reluctant to do so, i.e failure to announce current relationship status and the like. Suddenly it seems that it's all over with and I'm to be mature and welcome the distant meeting with enthusiasm and a mature outlook.
I reckon I just spit out my dummy and say no.
I wouldn't be keen on my partner meeting up with his ex with or with out me!!! They split up for a reason and that hasnt changed.
You could always look at it from the other angle maybe he wants you to meet up with her to show you off to her ???????
this will always end in tears! like the people said nip it in the bud ...a few weeks will pass and she will have split with her new guy,blah ,blah blah ... and your man will be her shoulder to cry on these things never go away .youl come back from work and there she will be on the sofa ... and youl will asked into the kitchen to put up with it .your nice guy is making a mistake he should realise he wouldnt want it if you were playing that[ friends with the ex card ]tell him now its not on before it gets messy...
good luck with it.
good luck with it.More Threads
Don Shits-In-Pants!!!
The Best of the GOP
Feel Good Music
1830's Music
rarotonga
your personality
Common Issues with the BMW X1
the way you look
wanting beyond need
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
738 Views
18 Comments
Created: Jun 2010
Last Viewed: Apr 29
Last Commented: Jun 2010
0 Likes
Am I the only one that really isn't arsed about wanting to meet them, or be introduced?
I get it if kids are involved, if not, then I really feel that an ex should be an ex, if you parted amicably, great, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wanting to be friends with my partners ex.
Especially when there are other things that have happened to make me reluctant to do so, i.e failure to announce current relationship status and the like. Suddenly it seems that it's all over with and I'm to be mature and welcome the distant meeting with enthusiasm and a mature outlook.
I reckon I just spit out my dummy and say no.