got a phone call from my ex (36)
MilehighNowherespecial, Colorado USA2 Threads 311 PostsHang in there amigo...
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thanks. im trying.
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I'm sorry to hear you're going through this hon, but maybe this will help. You didn't know about this aborted child until tonight. Try and look at this from other perspectives.
If she kept the baby, considering that she was cheating on you, here come the DNA tests. Say you turned out to be the Father, would it change anything? The only thing that would change is that you would be a Father and may or may not be able to see the child depending on how vindictive your ex is. You would HAVE TO deal with her on a regular basis. Would you really want to do that?
I hate to say this, but it's very possible that her saying this may have been a ploy in order to get you to come back to her. As sick as that sounds there have been women that have done such things. Also she had a stroke and most people that have some type of major life trauma will make an amends with those they've wronged.
You don't have to accept her apology, nor should she expect you to accept it. She felt she owed you at the very least that. Granted she did not exactly go about it the way it should have been, but from what you have said, I gather it was probably the best she could do.
Make sure you are in conscious contact with your Higher Power right now. If you turn it over to whomever your Higher Power is, that Higher Power will give you the strength to deal with this and get through this. In the meantime try to find your serenity and make peace with yourself.
If she kept the baby, considering that she was cheating on you, here come the DNA tests. Say you turned out to be the Father, would it change anything? The only thing that would change is that you would be a Father and may or may not be able to see the child depending on how vindictive your ex is. You would HAVE TO deal with her on a regular basis. Would you really want to do that?
I hate to say this, but it's very possible that her saying this may have been a ploy in order to get you to come back to her. As sick as that sounds there have been women that have done such things. Also she had a stroke and most people that have some type of major life trauma will make an amends with those they've wronged.
You don't have to accept her apology, nor should she expect you to accept it. She felt she owed you at the very least that. Granted she did not exactly go about it the way it should have been, but from what you have said, I gather it was probably the best she could do.
Make sure you are in conscious contact with your Higher Power right now. If you turn it over to whomever your Higher Power is, that Higher Power will give you the strength to deal with this and get through this. In the meantime try to find your serenity and make peace with yourself.
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Been through some pretty rough stuff on this end too. Real rough and flat evil. I know how it can burn you up and send the mind off on wild goose chase for answers - just hang tough and don't let the heart harden.
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i cant say this enough, thank you for all that all of us do for eachother on this site. i just cant help but think what my child would of looked like you know. would of it been a son or a daughter. would i play ball with him or warn her about guys. if i keep thinking of this stuff ill go and pull her plug.(JUST JOKING) i would never hurt another human being in that way.
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Honey, she apologized to you. She gave it to you, and it is in your hands now. Now what you do with it is up to you. She is now free of any suffering that she was enduring.
To wish upon her any more suffering is not going to do anything but cause you more grief. I am sorry to hear that things were so wrongly done. Can't change it now, but you can live on in peace if you don't hang on to hatred.
Good luck.
To wish upon her any more suffering is not going to do anything but cause you more grief. I am sorry to hear that things were so wrongly done. Can't change it now, but you can live on in peace if you don't hang on to hatred.
Good luck.
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it is amazing that the one we love the most can cause the most pain and dose.
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forget the phone call,he is always driving by------ This thread is Archived ------
wtf this was a serious thread
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You did the right thing going to see her. Now you have to do the even harder thing of forgetting the bad that was done and moving on. It's okay to be sad and mourn the child you never knew could have existed but then move on with open eyes and maybe the next girl you meet will be "the one" who you can't live without and you'll have that chance to be a father. I love my boys even though they are rowdy teenagers now. Their father was a jerk--I only wish he wanted to be a father like you do, but we don't get that choice sometimes. Write me direct if you need someone to listen. I've been thru a lot and can give you some good honest advice.
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to error is human...to forgive devine.
It;s entirely possible she needs to apologize for things she has done in the past. You need to go, afterall, regardless of the situation now, she was part of your life and she a part of yours.
If something happened and you didn't go to see her...could you live with that?
Go see her, even if it is the last time you are willing to.
Steve
It;s entirely possible she needs to apologize for things she has done in the past. You need to go, afterall, regardless of the situation now, she was part of your life and she a part of yours.
If something happened and you didn't go to see her...could you live with that?
Go see her, even if it is the last time you are willing to.
Steve
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go but dont let yourself fall inlove with her again
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Another point to ponder is this:
If she was cheating it's quite possible that the child wasn't yours at all!!!!
Forgive her...not for her but for you...until you do she still has control over you, your feelings and emotions!!!!!!
Resolve to forgive within yourself...she doesn't even have to know and it doesn't make the things she did right...but most certainly it will give you what you need....which is peace of mind and to close the door on the past with her!!!!!!!
If she was cheating it's quite possible that the child wasn't yours at all!!!!
Forgive her...not for her but for you...until you do she still has control over you, your feelings and emotions!!!!!!
Resolve to forgive within yourself...she doesn't even have to know and it doesn't make the things she did right...but most certainly it will give you what you need....which is peace of mind and to close the door on the past with her!!!!!!!
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hey baby you want to dance under the moon light 
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Wait a sec! You said she cheated on you....well perhaps that may be the very reason she abort the child.....she wasn't sure whose it is. Anyway, you cannot continue to hate her because it is not helping you, only eating away at the core of your being. She is no longer suffering this guilt she carried around for years. She relieved them by telling you. Now you have to just let it go. You can't do anything about this situation. However, you can be the best father there is to your future children, your own, or adopted ones. Forgive her, because she knows not the damage she has done.
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I try to forgive myself and others.
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