I've met a man online and after two months of chatting got to know he's got two STDs which prevent there ever being a relationship between us. We've both fallen in love with each other and have no choice but to keep things as a virtual friendship. My problem is that it hurts to keep getting emotionally close to a person who is otherwise so right for me. Should I let the friendship die away to spare myself suffering?
If he was silly enough to put himself in the position to get 2 STD's then what else lurks in his past or personality. Sounds like you got a lucky escape to me. Sorry
You have to understand that these are difficult things to reveal as you face rejection. Maybe he waited to feel comfortable enough to tell. He was going to visit. I've asked him not to so we don't get closer for nothing.
missingLondon: I've met a man online and after two months of chatting got to know he's got two STDs which prevent there ever being a relationship between us. We've both fallen in love with each other and have no choice but to keep things as a virtual friendship. My problem is that it hurts to keep getting emotionally close to a person who is otherwise so right for me. Should I let the friendship die away to spare myself suffering?
An emtionless life is nothing! sparing yourself of any emtional drama/concern/heartache in life, doesn't make it worth living does it? You have met someone who you truly like/respect and like you enjoy your relantionship as stands why give it up!
This is the second time you have mentioned hep b and herpes as being precursers to MS. STD's have nothing to do with whether or not someone has or gets MS. I think you need to get your facts straight.
NakedpackageBradford on Avon, Wiltshire, England UK746 posts
missingLondon: You have to understand that these are difficult things to reveal as you face rejection. Maybe he waited to feel comfortable enough to tell. He was going to visit. I've asked him not to so we don't get closer for nothing.
I do try to see it from his point of view but I do feel its dishonest.
if he told you day one you would run
now you're in 2 minds.
2 STDs now not in the past.
its hard to give unbias advice.
So ill say what I would do, walk away, reasons... dishonest self preservation wanting a normal relationship
missingLondon: I've met a man online and after two months of chatting got to know he's got two STDs which prevent there ever being a relationship between us. We've both fallen in love with each other and have no choice but to keep things as a virtual friendship. My problem is that it hurts to keep getting emotionally close to a person who is otherwise so right for me. Should I let the friendship die away to spare myself suffering?
missingLondon: hep B is transmitted via bodily fluids and what about herpes. it just sounds like too much of a risk to take on
I dont know about herpes as I havent had much dealings with that but for the hepititis virus it has to enter your blood stream its a blood borne virus to catch it through a kiss you would have to drink a bucket full of saliva...if you really have fallen for this guy missing then I believe you should get some prffesional advice to put your mind at rest...good luck which ever path you choose...
cincity: This is the second time you have mentioned hep b and herpes as being precursers to MS. STD's have nothing to do with whether or not someone has or gets MS. I think you need to get your facts straight.
I've looked things up. There are studies that say that hep B can develop into multiple sclerosis
boomboom_uk: I dont know about herpes as I havent had much dealings with that but for the hepititis virus it has to enter your blood stream its a blood borne virus to catch it through a kiss you would have to drink a bucket full of saliva...if you really have fallen for this guy missing then I believe you should get some prffesional advice to put your mind at rest...good luck which ever path you choose...
Best advice so far, who here is really qualified to correct info.
Something I would have thought you would have done automatically, if you are serious about this man.
Infections Many microbes have been proposed as potential infectious triggers of MS, but none has been substantiated.
Genetic susceptibility can explain some of the geographic and epidemiological variations in MS incidence, like the high incidence of the disease among some families or the risk decline with genetic distance, but does not account for other phenomena, such as the changes in risk that occur with migration at an early age. An explanation for this epidemiological finding could be that some kind of infection, produced by a widespread microbe rather than a rare pathogen, is the origin of the disease. Different hypotheses have elaborated on the mechanism by which this may occur. The hygiene hypothesis proposes that exposure to several infectious agents early in life is protective against MS, the disease being a response to a later encounter with such agents. The prevalence hypothesis proposes that the disease is due to a pathogen more common in regions of high MS prevalence. This pathogen is very common, causing in most individuals an asymptomatic persistent infection. Only in a few cases, and after many years since the original infection, does it cause demyelination. The hygiene hypothesis has received more support than the prevalence hypothesis.
Evidence for viruses as a cause includes the presence of oligoclonal bands in the brain and cerebrospinal fluid of most patients, the association of several viruses with human demyelination encephalomyelitis, and induction of demyelination in animals through viral infection. Human herpes viruses are a candidate group of viruses linked to MS. Individuals who have never been infected by the Epstein-Barr virus have a reduced risk of having the disease, and those infected as young adults have a greater risk than those who had it at a younger age. Although some consider that this goes against the hygiene hypothesis, since the non-infected have probably experienced a more hygienic upbringing, others believe that there is no contradiction since it is a first encounter at a later moment with the causative virus that is the trigger for the disease. Other diseases that have also been related with MS are measles, mumps and rubella.
Multiple sclerosis (abbreviated MS, also known as disseminated sclerosis or encephalomyelitis disseminata) is an inflammatory disease in which the fatty myelin sheaths around the axons of the brain and spinal cord are damaged, leading to demyelination and scarring as well as a broad spectrum of signs and symptoms. Disease onset usually occurs in young adults, and it is more common in females. It has a prevalence that ranges between 2 and 150 per 100,000. MS was first described in 1868 by Jean-Martin Charcot.
MS affects the ability of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord to communicate with each other. Nerve cells communicate by sending electrical signals called action potentials down long fibers called axons, which are wrapped in an insulating substance called myelin. In MS, the body's own immune system attacks and damages the myelin. When myelin is lost, the axons can no longer effectively conduct signals. The name multiple sclerosis refers to scars (scleroses—better known as plaques or lesions) in the white matter of the brain and spinal cord, which is mainly composed of myelin. Although much is known about the mechanisms involved in the disease process, the cause remains unknown. Theories include genetics or infections. Different environmental risk factors have also been found.
missingLondon: on the web and it's what he says too
I really don't get this, you are an intelligent woman, that has fallen in love with this man but you don't get professional advice but take the word of the internet and ask unqualified people ?
Why not meet him and go and seek advice together, so you really understand it?
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