Personally, I prefer to date men who are childless or whose children have grown and left the nest. I don't have kids of my own out of choice and cannot see myself stepping in for an absent mother. I would be resentful of the time such a man spent with his children because I am myself free of such commitment and would like to share my spare time with the man I'm in a relatonship with. Children don't really feature in my life and a man who introduced children into a relationship with me would be a culture shock for me.
Don't interpret a man's choice to avoid a woman with child caring responsibility as a personal rejection or punishment. Perhaps that man simply knows himself and doesn't see himself in a lifestyle that involves children.
Not all women like bad boys. There is however a possibility that if you have low self-esteem irrespective of your gender you will allow your partner to treat you badly.
Some women are attracted by confidence and some bad boys are very self-confident.
Personally, I drop disrespectful men like flies. I don't find bad boys in the least attractive. I am attracted instead to men who show genuine interest in getting to know me, who call to see if I'm doing fine, return my e-mails and are generally caring and attentive.
Naturally in a relationship I reciprocate the attention given to me. I like a man to notice the effort I put into trying to look as good as I can and do not hesitate to return compliments.
My bad boy radar picks up the red flags at the beginning so I've never had to wonder why things did not work out. I do not tolerate put downs and once I care about a man I accept him unconditionally, warts and all. Obviously I demand the same in return.
Met on another site. Right age, educated, no kids and put up a photo of a good looking man. Met at a restaurant and the guy was plain ugly nothing like the photo. Sat through a four hour dinner as I didn't have the guts to up and leave not wanting to be rude. After two and a half years of online dating, I haven't really been bothering. I've dated men who failed to disclose a significant physical disability and come across the most blatant of liars, married men who pretend to be single. I've really met them all. By now I'm happy being single but do these liars really believe they won't be caught out?
Was wondering about humans' adaptability. Two years on into my single life I look back on my ltr and realize I could not do it all over, the compromises, the effort and sacrifices. I have a much better quality of life now than I've ever had and though the flipside to my freedom is loneliness, I've realized that if I ever get into another relationship, I don't want to live together but would prefer a visiting partners arrangement. Familiarity breeds contempt for me and I dread the thought of somebody trying to change me again: my eating habits, having to go out when I'm tired and would rather stay in etc. So would you live with somebody or prefer to have a stable partner who visits but has his own place?
We were together from the ages of 24 to 36. We bought our first property together, raised a cat, emigrated together, embarked on so many adventures together. The chemistry was awesome, the intellectual wavelength too. Unfortunately we wanted different things in life and the love didn't last. I don't want him back, but am not bothered to replace him prefering to be single. I had relationships before him, none as long as with him. Can you ever feel the way you felt with your first love again or do you carry those memories with you to your death bed? Is any subsequent relationship you may have a poor second best?
I'm finally settled into my single life. Good job, enjoy my spending power, made some friends, have started going out more. No regrets over my ltr, look at photos of us and after two years feel nothing. Used to be animal crazy and I now realise I'm not open to the idea of owning another pet or giving them affection, having had to leave my cat with my ex as she's unfit to fly. Used to feel like life was not worth living and get depressed over animal cruelty and the sad state of the world. Now I don't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders any more and feel so much better for it. Dated lots and come to the conclusion that humans are essentially selfish, so not looking any longer. Didn't plan to close off my heart, it just happened as the more men I meet the more they let me down. Don't believe in love any more and am happy with my lot. Have I taken off my rose tinted specs or is this new found self-centerdeness a result of age and experience? Never thought I'd get used to being single but it's happened and I wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe after years of putting my then significant other first I am now enjoying putting myself first. Have I learnt the wrong lessons from life?
He is from Malta's sister island. It's a twenty minute crossing. He did say he wanted to eventually get intimate with me but wouldn't rush things. Yes the wine shows effort but I wasn't comfortable with him not phoning.
I agree we both cut things off before they progressed. Personally it's because I know what I'm after and I want a man who's keen on me. This man obviously wasn't, so no big loss, he was not right for me.
He didn't avoid me. he bought the wine for the second date, the day we agreed upon it. he was willing to commute two hours to come and see me, crossing by sea. He kept the e-mails constant and was planning ahead for the two of us. He obviously wasn't keen enough to call or was hiding something and I don't need any complications in my life so I made my demands clear and when he showed he would not meet them, cancelled the second date. Better to cut off contact in the beginning than to let things progress and accept being with someone who can't be bothered to call. I have my expectations, if a man doesn't mean them, doesn't mean I have to lower my standards, it means I dump the man. I have no problem being single. To be with someone things have to be right. Probably some people manage to be in a relationship because they accept poor treatment from their partner. I'd rather be alone than unhappy in a relationship. Demands have to be made clear at the outset. I'm not a teenager and I'm not wasting my time. Neither was he a teenager. If he wanted something casual or a woman to be his door mat, he got the wrong number.
The meeting place they picked is notorious for parking problems. it's practically impossible to park there and public transport in Malta is not an option. So how have you been chris ?
i've lived abroad and am now happily settled in my country. I've had one long distance relationship where we spent four months chatting before we met and then it didn't work out. I wouldn't do it again. It's nice to have somebody local to go out with. Long-distance is not for me.
You receive an e-mail from a handsome man, who seems nice judging by what he writes. if he lived locally you wouldn't mind getting to know him better but he lives too far away for any real prospects. Do you correspond with him and keep him as an online friend or make it clear at the outset that you're not willing to relocate and ask where he sees things going?
Met online and e-mailed back and forth, spoke on the phone. Then he says he lied about his age and his online photo is 20 years old. Profile claimed he was 36 when he's 56. Sent recent photos. He's not bad looking but why lie about age? Claims not to be a cradle snatcher.
I feel lonely yes but I'm not miserable. I don't have positive memories of my ltr, so i'm happy to be single and don't really care if I ever get into another relationship. Relationships are way overrated and few are the ones who get to have a happy ltr. It's all about compromise and giving up so much of yourself you don't know who you are anymore. I don't believe in love. I think human beings are too innately selfish for that. If you want love get a puppy.
I've heard of various theories regarding the length of time it takes to get over a long-term relationship. Some say it takes half the time you spent with the person, others say it takes two years. Personally I'm approaching the two year mark and I find that it's quite accurate. Though I still have dreams about my ex, in my dreams now there is an acceptance of the parting which was not there before. I also find that in these two years I've managed to rebuild my life and though there is a void, the years spent with him seem like the distant past. Can you ever put a time limit on grief and the course it has to run or does time really heal everything?
Spot on. I'd be put off by a man who puts a date before his children and would not expect to be such a man's first priority. However that type of relationship is not for me. If and when I do get into a relationship I'd want my man's undivided attention,, having suffered a lot of neglect in the past. I am just not ready to complicate my life or sacrifice much these days. I will only get into a relationship if it meets my needs. I've learnt to put myself first in my list of priorities instead of others and a man would have to add value and happiness to my life, otherwise I'm happy being single.
Depends if the children are grown and have left the nest i would date the dad. Otherwise no. I don't have children of my own, out of choice and I can't see myself in a relationship with someone who has such a commitment as kids, where I would come second to the kid's needs.
missingLondon Forum Posts (455)
RE: Why nice men are difficult to find?
Personally, I prefer to date men who are childless or whose children have grown and left the nest. I don't have kids of my own out of choice and cannot see myself stepping in for an absent mother. I would be resentful of the time such a man spent with his children because I am myself free of such commitment and would like to share my spare time with the man I'm in a relatonship with. Children don't really feature in my life and a man who introduced children into a relationship with me would be a culture shock for me.Don't interpret a man's choice to avoid a woman with child caring responsibility as a personal rejection or punishment. Perhaps that man simply knows himself and doesn't see himself in a lifestyle that involves children.