Women.. Why is it.... (44)
In response to: Ladies,
Why is it that you would rather be friends with a guy than date him when you describe him as a great catch?
Here is the situation...
There is a woman that I was seeing (if you could call it that) that claims I am a very good looking guy (lack of picture for other reasons)(looks in this case doen't matter), says I am kind, sweet, ambitious, and everything a woman wants in a man, yet only wants to be friends.... She contacts me nearly every day since we first met and often asks me to do things with her.... even been on a picnic (as friends). She claims we have no Chemestry, yet she wants to hang out often.
She is not the first to do this to me.... matter of fact she is the 8th or 9th in my life.
Why is it that you would rather be friends with a guy than date him when you describe him as a great catch?
Here is the situation...
There is a woman that I was seeing (if you could call it that) that claims I am a very good looking guy (lack of picture for other reasons)(looks in this case doen't matter), says I am kind, sweet, ambitious, and everything a woman wants in a man, yet only wants to be friends.... She contacts me nearly every day since we first met and often asks me to do things with her.... even been on a picnic (as friends). She claims we have no Chemestry, yet she wants to hang out often.
She is not the first to do this to me.... matter of fact she is the 8th or 9th in my life.
Oh my dear, U R the ggf, and every women wants one. (guy girl friend) Ur the one we can talk to and take anywhere and know that u will be there for us. You cannot be both BF and ggf...Just don't happen. You are probaly too avaiable and u pick girls that are attracted to the badboys. Lacking chemisty is your signal this relationship is not going anywhere. Move on when u learn this if u r not interested in always the bridemaid but never the bride....Good luck
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She asked me on the picnic.
I have a wonderful repore with women in general.
I asked her why she only wants to be friends, but never get an answer. It's not like she thinks I'm an ugly chud since she like to be seen in public with me.
I just dont get it.
I have a wonderful repore with women in general.
I asked her why she only wants to be friends, but never get an answer. It's not like she thinks I'm an ugly chud since she like to be seen in public with me.
I just dont get it.
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Try not being the ggf any longer. The first mention of lacking chemistry, then u need to hit the road. My ggf is awesome, good looking and there is no attractions on my part. We spend hours watching Football and I hook him up with friends all the time. I know he would like more and I feel bad, but sometimes, "It is what it is." Let it go and move on.
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Buffy327: Oh my dear, U R the ggf, and every women wants one. (guy girl friend) Ur the one we can talk to and take anywhere and know that u will be there for us. You cannot be both BF and ggf...Just don't happen. You are probaly too avaiable and u pick girls that are attracted to the badboys. Lacking chemisty is your signal this relationship is not going anywhere. Move on when u learn this if u r not interested in always the bridemaid but never the bride....Good luck
Ouch
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deadbutwhy: Learn how to create chemistry... the key word is flirting
Can explain that more... "create chemistry?" I'm genuinely curious if what you suggest would have changed anything for me.....
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Buffy327: Try not being the ggf any longer. The first mention of lacking chemistry, then u need to hit the road. My ggf is awesome, good looking and there is no attractions on my part. We spend hours watching Football and I hook him up with friends all the time. I know he would like more and I feel bad, but sometimes, "It is what it is." Let it go and move on.
Why would you hang out with someone you have no chemistry with? That sounds mighty cruel.
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I had a guy friend like you,he was a model..great looking,dressed nice,we went to dinner and dancing all the time.People would say,you two make a great couple...but there was no spark,we just had fun together...he ended up marrying the man's daughter that owned the hilton......guess what,she could have almost been my twin....
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deadbutwhy: Learn how to create chemistry... the key word is flirting
Flirting is one thing that does not lack... When together and even in text it seems like a flirt fest.
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Ok, another key piece of information that I just thought of....
Since becoming friends, she has gone out with a few guys and found she had no chemistry, yet she dropped them like a hot tater.... she claims they were good guys.... yet why does she keep me around?
Since becoming friends, she has gone out with a few guys and found she had no chemistry, yet she dropped them like a hot tater.... she claims they were good guys.... yet why does she keep me around?
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You might have to look "outside" of your comfort zone when dating. Sometimes, if you want to hook up with someone who has or shares the sames interests as you, it doesn't work in the chemistry department...too much of "being on the same level".
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amahlala: You might have to look "outside" of your comfort zone when dating. Sometimes, if you want to hook up with someone who has or shares the sames interests as you, it doesn't work in the chemistry department...too much of "being on the same level".
I agree... but I am comfortable in every zone... well, except for the guy thing... but I'm not ready to make that commitment just yet.... but you never know, the way things are going.
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invinciblemuse: When did you have this "just friends" conversation? Maybe something has already changed for her since then??
I mean, look at it: you're flirting, you've met the friends, she tells you there were other guys, but she got rid of them (while maybe creating a little bit of jealousy in you there?), but - you're still around...
Get a move on!!
I mean, look at it: you're flirting, you've met the friends, she tells you there were other guys, but she got rid of them (while maybe creating a little bit of jealousy in you there?), but - you're still around...
Get a move on!!
I asked as recently as late last week... I'm still at arms length....
I am beginning to think I need to go "Bad Boy".... I guess I could get arrested for something.
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opentuit: Well, that's weird.... telling you what to do or not do without offering any reasons is totally strange IMO....
I fully agree... It seemed to be that she needs me around but doesn't want me around.... sorta thing
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JAN_is: Do I have to repeat myself yet again'! Friends care about what you do and who you hook up with. You are simply trying to convince yourself that her concern for you is more than seems to be what you actually want, at least on the face of it. However, I may be wrong, there may well be more than this to what you are able to convey here.
I have male friends who say similar things to me...what on earth do you see in him for example, she wants you as a friend, based on what I can go on, nothing more, and if you don´t want that, or want more, then let it go.
I have male friends who say similar things to me...what on earth do you see in him for example, she wants you as a friend, based on what I can go on, nothing more, and if you don´t want that, or want more, then let it go.
I am letting go....
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opentuit: Can explain that more... "create chemistry?" I'm genuinely curious if what you suggest would have changed anything for me.....
sorry... I was away. I read your post but I still don't know enough about the guy or the situation. There are certain principles of attraction that apply to most... being fully available and willing from the get go is not one of them. He has to make himself irresistible and let you fight to win him. JMO
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opentuit: If she wants you for a friend, she ought to act like a friend. That's what I don't like about it.
I so agree... the stick and carrot thing is getting old.
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deadbutwhy: sorry... I was away. I read your post but I still don't know enough about the guy or the situation.
There are certain principles of attraction that apply to most... being fully available and willing from the get go is not one of them. He has to make himself irresistible and let you fight to win him. JMO
There are certain principles of attraction that apply to most... being fully available and willing from the get go is not one of them. He has to make himself irresistible and let you fight to win him. JMO
Exactly!!!
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deadbutwhy: sorry... I was away. I read your post but I still don't know enough about the guy or the situation.
There are certain principles of attraction that apply to most... being fully available and willing from the get go is not one of them. He has to make himself irresistible and let you fight to win him. JMO
There are certain principles of attraction that apply to most... being fully available and willing from the get go is not one of them. He has to make himself irresistible and let you fight to win him. JMO
Bingo...
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opentuit: If she wants you for a friend, she ought to act like a friend. That's what I don't like about it.
Based on what the OP has told us I think she is acting as a friend. Forget the male, female stereotype attitudes, The problem seems more to be that the OP wants more than friendship.
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Created: Oct 2010
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Why is it that you would rather be friends with a guy than date him when you describe him as a great catch?
Here is the situation...
There is a woman that I was seeing (if you could call it that) that claims I am a very good looking guy (lack of picture for other reasons)(looks in this case doen't matter), says I am kind, sweet, ambitious, and everything a woman wants in a man, yet only wants to be friends.... She contacts me nearly every day since we first met and often asks me to do things with her.... even been on a picnic (as friends). She claims we have no Chemestry, yet she wants to hang out often.
She is not the first to do this to me.... matter of fact she is the 8th or 9th in my life.