Moral Dilemma...... (94)
salanky: heres hoping you dont fall in love with someone and then god forbid you tell them you are ill and they leave you to die with a broken heart aswell
Its a tough life saleankey, If I can minimise the amount of hurt and pain at all in my life I will
Primula: Its a tough life saleankey, If I can minimise the amount of hurt and pain at all in my life I will
no need to add extra letters into my name its not that hard to spell. so even though you love them you will just leave them without a second thought?
Primula: Its a tough life saleankey, If I can minimise the amount of hurt and pain at all in my life I will
The only way to minimise hurt and pain in your life is to actually feel it and not deny it. Try it - it really works. It feels crap to begin with but there's nothing like it in the end.
As for the subject of the thread...I would make the most of the time I had with a special person and risk the pain. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Corny I know but, for me, its true.
So here is the inspiration for this thread,last night i was at the funeral of a childhood friend,he had been suffering with Leukemia since he was 11 and it took the disease 14 years to finally get him,he was a really wonderful guy and had a heart of gold.However one of the things i noticed was that his girlfriend of 4 years was at the funeral too,i thought to myself,"my god isn't she so brave to have taken the burden of such a thing on her shoulders",i wondered could i ever be a person that could let myself get so close to someone that was so sick,i still don't know the answer to that and maybe i never will, hence the reason i wanted to gather a few opinions and see if my thoughts were normal.
Thanks for replying.
Thanks for replying.
i still dont get hwere you arte coming from, remember you were dating this girl and ye split up, would you have preferred never to have met her at all, never to have shared good things...
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.
I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.
I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
Neenaw: i still dont get hwere you arte coming from, remember you were dating this girl and ye split up, would you have preferred never to have met her at all, never to have shared good things...
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
kinda like asking if your long term partner suddenly became very ill would you dump them
kielybear: So here is the inspiration for this thread,last night i was at the funeral of a childhood friend,he had been suffering with Leukemia since he was 11 and it took the disease 14 years to finally get him,he was a really wonderful guy and had a heart of gold.However one of the things i noticed was that his girlfriend of 4 years was at the funeral too,i thought to myself,"my god isn't she so brave to have taken the burden of such a thing on her shoulders",i wondered could i ever be a person that could let myself get so close to someone that was so sick,i still don't know the answer to that and maybe i never will, hence the reason i wanted to gather a few opinions and see if my thoughts were normal.Thanks for replying.
Was at a similer funeral a few months ago. Hence my reply that I would like to think I would take a chance and be with the person but not sure if I could in reality.
It's hard enough knowing in the back of our minds that anything could happen to the person we love... but going into a relationship knowing what WILL happen, I think, would be a very difficult decision.
Wouldnt you always want to have hope that they will beat the illness that is killing them? It does happen. I would say that he was in remission for some of the time since he was first diagnosed.
We all have a death sentence. Dont want to sound facetious but none of us gets out of this alive. Its not a case of if we die but when and as we get older, life becomes more and more precious.
We all have a death sentence. Dont want to sound facetious but none of us gets out of this alive. Its not a case of if we die but when and as we get older, life becomes more and more precious.
Neenaw: i still dont get hwere you arte coming from, remember you were dating this girl and ye split up, would you have preferred never to have met her at all, never to have shared good things...
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
Well your comparison for just dating a person in good health is not really applicable in this argument,for the simple reason when you get in to a normal relationship you don't expect to split up in the near future,but if you start dating someone with leukemia you are always anticipating the demise of the relationship due to the illness.My question is,would my brain actually allow me to fall for someone with such a sickness???? I hope that sheds some light for you.
kielybear: Well your comparison for just dating a person in good health is not really applicable in this argument,for the simple reason when you get in to a normal relationship you don't expect to split up in the near future,but if you start dating someone with leukemia you are always anticipating the demise of the relationship due to the illness.My question is,would my brain actually allow me to fall for someone with such a sickness???? I hope that sheds some light for you.
well your answer to me would seem that it wouldnt allow you.
Personally I to each their own, I would find that shallow and I am glad I am a well more grounded and understanding person.
As LC said, what would you do if your partner was diagnosed with a terminal illness....
Neenaw: i still dont get hwere you arte coming from, remember you were dating this girl and ye split up, would you have preferred never to have met her at all, never to have shared good things...
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
you seem to be suggesting that because someone has an illness, then they dont deserve to be happy, to be in a relationship, and that the significant other is like a martyr for putting up with them.I dont know where you are coming from, please feel free to enlighten me.
I think it's a self-preservation thing N. Knowing that you are going to lose that person...and the pain you will go through.
It's a very very selfish way of thinking, I know, but I think it's human nature too.
LadyBlackAdder: Wouldnt you always want to have hope that they will beat the illness that is killing them? It does happen. I would say that he was in remission for some of the time since he was first diagnosed.
We all have a death sentence. Dont want to sound facetious but none of us gets out of this alive. Its not a case of if we die but when and as we get older, life becomes more and more precious.
We all have a death sentence. Dont want to sound facetious but none of us gets out of this alive. Its not a case of if we die but when and as we get older, life becomes more and more precious.
My point is,would i mentally let myself get close to the person to begin with,knowing that the road ahead was going to be so tough.
kielybear: My point is,would i mentally let myself get close to the person to begin with,knowing that the road ahead was going to be so tough.
the road ahead is tough in everything, you are way to sensitive, seriously, you need to toughen up a bit, if you carry on like that, your brain will keep ya single forever.
Neenaw: the road ahead is tough in everything, you are way to sensitive, seriously, you need to toughen up a bit, if you carry on like that, your brain will keep ya single forever.
Im single by choice at the moment,but thank you for the concern.
kielybear: Well your comparison for just dating a person in good health is not really applicable in this argument,for the simple reason when you get in to a normal relationship you don't expect to split up in the near future,but if you start dating someone with leukemia you are always anticipating the demise of the relationship due to the illness.My question is,would my brain actually allow me to fall for someone with such a sickness???? I hope that sheds some light for you.
I had a friend who had cs and she met a guy who knew she would be lucky to see her 21st they were blissfully happy and got engaged just before her 21st she died a couple of months later ...to be honest if I was ever lucky enough to be blessed with the kind of relationship they had in their time together I'd count myself lucky JMO
LadyBlackAdder: The only way to minimise hurt and pain in your life is to actually feel it and not deny it. Try it - it really works. It feels crap to begin with but there's nothing like it in the end.
As for the subject of the thread...I would make the most of the time I had with a special person and risk the pain. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Corny I know but, for me, its true.
As for the subject of the thread...I would make the most of the time I had with a special person and risk the pain. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Corny I know but, for me, its true.
Rubbish, you can choose to place yourself in a position of pain and hurt if you really want to, just as much as you can distance yourself from getting hurt if you can read the signs good enough you can get out and in this case you know for a fact there will be a tragic ending, now why would you want to let yourself in for that unless you wanted to be hurt which doesn`t make sense
L1977C: I had a friend who had cs and she met a guy who knew she would be lucky to see her 21st they were blissfully happy and got engaged just before her 21st she died a couple of months later ...to be honest if I was ever lucky enough to be blessed with the kind of relationship they had in their time together I'd count myself lucky JMO
Opinions are all i asked for,thanks for sharing your one
kielybear: Im single by choice at the moment,but thank you for the concern.
OK...
My question Kiely is this:
You meet the most amazing girl, fall madly in love, and then she either finds out/tell you she has x amount of years to live.
would you dump her, what would your brain tell ya
Primula: Rubbish, you can choose to place yourself in a position of pain and hurt if you really want to, just as much as you can distance yourself from getting hurt if you can read the signs good enough you can get out and in this case you know for a fact there will be a tragic ending, now why would you want to let yourself in for that unless you wanted to be hurt which doesn`t make sense
its a little thing some people are lucky enough to experience called love
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its exactly why i go on the internet to be depressed
ah yes indeed