Moral Dilemma...... (94)
kielybear: My point is,would i mentally let myself get close to the person to begin with,knowing that the road ahead was going to be so tough.
To be honest, when it happens, I dont think you will have much of a choice. The heart wants what the heart wants.
However, I think you shouldnt let yourself feel tied up in knots over a situation that may never arise. Its all very well bringing up the possible scenario in a thread but dont think you can seriously make that sort of decision before you have to. I think you have to live life in the moment and not try to answer all lifes questions before they are put to you.
Primula: Rubbish, you can choose to place yourself in a position of pain and hurt if you really want to, just as much as you can distance yourself from getting hurt if you can read the signs good enough you can get out and in this case you know for a fact there will be a tragic ending, now why would you want to let yourself in for that unless you wanted to be hurt which doesn`t make sense
Life is for living not for avoiding
L1977C: better still if the shoe was on the other foot and it was himself that was ill?
very true
Neenaw: OK...
My question Kiely is this:
You meet the most amazing girl, fall madly in love, and then she either finds out/tell you she has x amount of years to live.would you dump her, what would your brain tell ya
My question Kiely is this:
You meet the most amazing girl, fall madly in love, and then she either finds out/tell you she has x amount of years to live.would you dump her, what would your brain tell ya
If she hadn't told me from the offset,i would stand by her and be there for her and be the best partner i could be.However,would i have allowed myself to fall for her in the first place if i knew she was sick to begin with,i really don't know.Perhaps i would have distanced myself,perhaps i would have been happy to just have her,even though it was for a short time.....this thread is called,Moral dilemma,not actual dilemma.....a question of morality.
salanky: its a little thing some people are lucky enough to experience called love
and I suppose you have vast experience of being in love?
L1977C: better still if the shoe was on the other foot and it was himself that was ill?
If i had that kind of illness i wouldn't expect someone to be there for me.
LadyBlackAdder: To be honest, when it happens, I dont think you will have much of a choice. The heart wants what the heart wants.
However, I think you shouldnt let yourself feel tied up in knots over a situation that may never arise. Its all very well bringing up the possible scenario in a thread but dont think you can seriously make that sort of decision before you have to. I think you have to live life in the moment and not try to answer all lifes questions before they are put to you.
However, I think you shouldnt let yourself feel tied up in knots over a situation that may never arise. Its all very well bringing up the possible scenario in a thread but dont think you can seriously make that sort of decision before you have to. I think you have to live life in the moment and not try to answer all lifes questions before they are put to you.
Its a moral question,not one of actuality
kielybear: If she hadn't told me from the offset,i would stand by her and be there for her and be the best partner i could be.However,would i have allowed myself to fall for her in the first place if i knew she was sick to begin with,i really don't know.Perhaps i would have distanced myself,perhaps i would have been happy to just have her,even though it was for a short time.....this thread is called,Moral dilemma,not actual dilemma.....a question of morality.
well wasnt it proved earlier one persons morals arent anothers
kielybear: If she hadn't told me from the offset,i would stand by her and be there for her and be the best partner i could be.However,would i have allowed myself to fall for her in the first place if i knew she was sick to begin with,i really don't know.Perhaps i would have distanced myself,perhaps i would have been happy to just have her,even though it was for a short time.....this thread is called,Moral dilemma,not actual dilemma.....a question of morality.
Well it was an actual event that brought about the question, if this friend was such a good friend of yours, since childhood, had you ever aksed him this hypothetical moral question, god rest him.
wexlady41: You're right. And I would I hope, as I've already said, that I would see past the illness and take a chance. Better to have loved and lost etc.
But I know me and I really don't know if I could knowingly go into a relationship where I know that person is going to die.
I'm not saying I couldn't... I'm saying I don't know. I think maybe the fear would take over... but maybe love is stronger than fear. I've never experienced that kind of love (in a romantic sense).
Maybe you're a stronger person than I am. Maybe I would be a stronger person than I think I am. I just don't know.
But I know me and I really don't know if I could knowingly go into a relationship where I know that person is going to die.
I'm not saying I couldn't... I'm saying I don't know. I think maybe the fear would take over... but maybe love is stronger than fear. I've never experienced that kind of love (in a romantic sense).
Maybe you're a stronger person than I am. Maybe I would be a stronger person than I think I am. I just don't know.
THANK YOU
Neenaw: Well it was an actual event that brought about the question, if this friend was such a good friend of yours, since childhood, had you ever aksed him this hypothetical moral question, god rest him.
Yes i did,he just told me and i quote "as long as shes gettin 8 inches of paddypole she's happy,no matter how ling i last"
I like to think he appreciated the immense sacrifices she made for him,in fact i know he did.
kielybear: So you meet someone and start and there's and instant spark,you become friend's but the person has just told you that they have only a matter of years to live,due to illness,as many as 10 years or as little as 1 year.Now i'm not posting this tread as a way to reincarnate peoples personal trauma at the hands of disease and death,just wonder what would you do if in that situation,would you run or let true love run its course....?????
Well at least you would know the end is coming and could make the most of every day you had together. How many people take each other and their relationships for granted and any day could be our last we never know. The person with the terminal illness could easily out live the other
Go for it would be my opinion
kielybear: Yes i did,he just told me and i quote "as long as shes gettin 8 inches of paddypole she's happy,no matter how ling i last"
I like to think he appreciated the immense sacrifices she made for him,in fact i know he did.
I like to think he appreciated the immense sacrifices she made for him,in fact i know he did.
Long i last*
Primula: and I suppose you have vast experience of being in love?
i have been in love yes so i do know how it feels. i think everyone deserves to be happy regardless of how long you have left on the earth. how would you feel if you loved someone and they left you over an illness you couldnt control?? would you resent them or would you say its ok just leave me to die on my own and go on off and be happy
ladylumps: Well at least you would know the end is coming and could make the most of every day you had together. How many people take each other and their relationships for granted and any day could be our last we never know. The person with the terminal illness could easily out live the other
Go for it would be my opinion
Go for it would be my opinion
A nice romantic way to look at it,thank you
kielybear: If she hadn't told me from the offset,i would stand by her and be there for her and be the best partner i could be.However,would i have allowed myself to fall for her in the first place if i knew she was sick to begin with,i really don't know.Perhaps i would have distanced myself,perhaps i would have been happy to just have her,even though it was for a short time.....this thread is called,Moral dilemma,not actual dilemma.....a question of morality.
So you are asking if it would be morally ok not to allow yourself to fall for someone who is terminal? I think we all have to decide what is for us. Some people can handle that scenario, some people just may not be able to. However, it could happen that you wouldnt have a choice when you meet them and they just sweep you away. If you cant fall for them because they are ill then you are not in love with them.....dilemma over. If you do fall for them then its a no win situation; if you leave them you lose them anyway.
kielybear: Yes i did,he just told me and i quote "as long as shes gettin 8 inches of paddypole she's happy,no matter how ling i last"
I like to think he appreciated the immense sacrifices she made for him,in fact i know he did.
I like to think he appreciated the immense sacrifices she made for him,in fact i know he did.
ok, i bow out here, cause i find this absolute rubbish, so as he dying from leukemia, i presume he was morphed out, he was still giving her "8 inches of paddypole"....are you for real
listen kiely, i think you embellish stuff, and so now before i actually lose my temper, i will bow out.
I find this last comment completly distasteful and think you made it up, which is worse.
goodbye.
LadyBlackAdder: So you are asking if it would be morally ok not to allow yourself to fall for someone who is terminal? I think we all have to decide what is for us. Some people can handle that scenario, some people just may not be able to. However, it could happen that you wouldnt have a choice when you meet them and they just sweep you away. If you cant fall for them because they are ill then you are not in love with them.....dilemma over. If you do fall for them then its a no win situation; if you leave them you lose them anyway.
The best reply so far i think,perhaps i forgot that you "fall" in love,maybe its not something you can avoid.....
kielybear: My point is,would i mentally let myself get close to the person to begin with,knowing that the road ahead was going to be so tough.
What a pathetic selfish thought that is! It seems to me you're taking a very self-centered approach to this. So far your responses have all been about YOU - the hurt YOU might feel and the Risk YOU might be taking. There is not one scintilla of 'charity', 'love' or 'understanding' of, or for, the other person. You might want to review those things, before even considering entering a relationship with a healthy person, because, God forbid, YOU may be the unhealthy one being left alone. How do you know you'll outlive the other person, you don't - but wouldn't it be charitable, christian and loving to have made the other persons life happy, for whatever time they have left? It certainly would be the unselfish thing to do.
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My question Kiely is this:
You meet the most amazing girl, fall madly in love, and then she either finds out/tell you she has x amount of years to live.would you dump her, what would your brain tell ya
better still if the shoe was on the other foot and it was himself that was ill?