thinking about writing to an advice columnist--what do you think? (10)
rohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,523 PostsHi. I'll try to make this short. (famous last words!) The other day I read an advice columnist's reply to a man who had written. He was not currently employed because of an illness, and was offended that so many people demanded to know why he wasn't working, etc... She bluntly told him to tell the questioners about his illness and to just say , " I'm on disability". Now, I have a problem with this. First of all, it is nobody's business that he is even ill (HIPA, remember?) and even more so it is nobody's business he is receiving disability. I thought she was way off base in her suggestion, and want to say so. But first, I would like to know what you think of this sort of thing. Am I right, in believing that a medical condition and pension/retirements are a private matter? Thanks again...rohaan
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I'd be more inclined to say I'm independently wealthy, I choose to donate all my money to the starving children in Africa and live this meager existence to fly in the face of all those who call Americans greedy. LOL
OR... In reality, I'd probably take my check somewhere it would go a WHOLE lot further (with a tropical beach).
OR... In reality, I'd probably take my check somewhere it would go a WHOLE lot further (with a tropical beach).
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bittersweet28467: I'd be more inclined to say I'm independently wealthy, I choose to donate all my money to the starving children in Africa and live this meager existence to fly in the face of all those who call Americans greedy. LOL
OR... In reality, I'd probably take my check somewhere it would go a WHOLE lot further (with a tropical beach).
I was asking if anyone thought I was right in believing that what I mentioned was a private matter, and that means no one should be asking those kinds of questions in the first place. ThanksOR... In reality, I'd probably take my check somewhere it would go a WHOLE lot further (with a tropical beach).
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rohaan: Hi. I'll try to make this short. (famous last words!) The other day I read an advice columnist's reply to a man who had written. He was not currently employed because of an illness, and was offended that so many people demanded to know why he wasn't working, etc... She bluntly told him to tell the questioners about his illness and to just say , " I'm on disability". Now, I have a problem with this. First of all, it is nobody's business that he is even ill (HIPA, remember?) and even more so it is nobody's business he is receiving disability. I thought she was way off base in her suggestion, and want to say so. But first, I would like to know what you think of this sort of thing. Am I right, in believing that a medical condition and pension/retirements are a private matter? Thanks again...rohaan
I would have advised him to tell them, that it was none of their bloody business whether he worked or not, and to go get themselves a life.
If anyone had asked me that, I'd have sent them packing, with a flea in their ear.
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I think that info is quite confidential,
Its just not EVERYONES Buisness.. I Agree
Its just not EVERYONES Buisness.. I Agree
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GingerBe: I would have advised him to tell them, that it was none of their bloody business whether he worked or not, and to go get themselves a life.
If anyone had asked me that, I'd have sent them packing, with a flea in their ear.
If anyone had asked me that, I'd have sent them packing, with a flea in their ear.
where do people get the idea that they have the right to know about anyone else? I swear this seems to be epidemic.------ This thread is Archived ------
I've no time for these so called advise columnists or "agony aunts" as we call them over here. Same with counsellors who can sometimes do more harm than good.One's personal business is just that ,personal.j.m.o.
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rohaan: Hi. I'll try to make this short. (famous last words!) The other day I read an advice columnist's reply to a man who had written. He was not currently employed because of an illness, and was offended that so many people demanded to know why he wasn't working, etc... She bluntly told him to tell the questioners about his illness and to just say , " I'm on disability". Now, I have a problem with this. First of all, it is nobody's business that he is even ill (HIPA, remember?) and even more so it is nobody's business he is receiving disability. I thought she was way off base in her suggestion, and want to say so. But first, I would like to know what you think of this sort of thing. Am I right, in believing that a medical condition and pension/retirements are a private matter? Thanks again...rohaan
Yes, you are right, all these things are very private, and nobody should have to feel guilt-tripped into disclosing information they would not normally want to share.
She should have told the advice-seeker simply: tell them to mind their own business!!!
Hi Rohaan!
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invinciblemuse: Yes, you are right, all these things are very private, and nobody should have to feel guilt-tripped into disclosing information they would not normally want to share.
She should have told the advice-seeker simply: tell them to mind their own business!!!
Hi Rohaan!
Hey beautiful--Nice to see ya. She should have told the advice-seeker simply: tell them to mind their own business!!!
Hi Rohaan!
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I'm inclined to agree w/ some of the posters on this forum. But have another side to this situation as well:
The man was writing probably to an unqualified columnist who sits behind a desk and pontificates about what he/she would do in a situation, which is why I tend to be very skeptical when reading these types of things.
Secondly, yes, the man has the right to disclose only what he feels is comfortable and if pressed for something more, my response would be "what are you writing a book about me or something?"
People will push the envelop only as far as another person will allow and as much as possible, because of curiosity, rudeness and no discretionary ability..and until the other person takes offense and points it out..they will keep trying to pry. Doesn't make it right though in any case.
Being on a dating site and seeking a potential partner, it is natural to ask questions, but again, if a person is not comfortable answering, he or she can politely decline and state the reasons why, i.e. question was too personal, intrusive, offensive.
Some members of society are so audacious and have no moderation button that what might seem like normal conversation and questions, might not be. Plus, everyone has a different sense of comfort and what one might see as inappropriate might not be to another. JMHO
The man was writing probably to an unqualified columnist who sits behind a desk and pontificates about what he/she would do in a situation, which is why I tend to be very skeptical when reading these types of things.
Secondly, yes, the man has the right to disclose only what he feels is comfortable and if pressed for something more, my response would be "what are you writing a book about me or something?"
People will push the envelop only as far as another person will allow and as much as possible, because of curiosity, rudeness and no discretionary ability..and until the other person takes offense and points it out..they will keep trying to pry. Doesn't make it right though in any case.
Being on a dating site and seeking a potential partner, it is natural to ask questions, but again, if a person is not comfortable answering, he or she can politely decline and state the reasons why, i.e. question was too personal, intrusive, offensive.
Some members of society are so audacious and have no moderation button that what might seem like normal conversation and questions, might not be. Plus, everyone has a different sense of comfort and what one might see as inappropriate might not be to another. JMHO
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Created: Nov 2010
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