Embarrassing first dates ( Archived) (26)

TY, But I don't know what to say!LOL kevin

My embarassing story. Sorry it so long and takes two posts but its a true one.

HOW TO LOSE A MATCH.COM DATE IN ONE EASY LESSON
Or Run from the Rabid Raccoon!

It was a cool evening. I got the e-mail that said, "My son has to be to work at 4 and I'll race you home." My Match date was from Massachusetts and it would take him an hour and a half to get to my house. I was at work and get out at 4:30 p.m.--it would take me an hour to get home. We should arrive at the same time, or whoever was first would "win." Supper was in the crock pot and both of my boys were occupied with events. Life was good. Little did I know there would be a little sabotage thrown into my date.

I drove along happily singing to the radio and switching stations to find the best song to sing. Speeding up my road with the window open and the radio blaring, I threw on the brakes to find that he beat me home! Okay, not necessarily a bad sign. I parked, he got out, and we went into the house. I changed from my short skirt work clothes into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. The house smelled delicious and the corned beef, carrots and potatoes were hot and boiling. I turned off the crock pot and put on my sneakers. We set the house alarm and went out the front door to go for a walk out back (on my 150 acre farm).

The first stop was at the barn to check and see if my elderly Quarter Horse Ebony was home. She was not--she was out in the pasture. But, in her stall was a raccoon--a rabid raccoon that couldn't use his back legs and was pulling himself across the stall with his front legs. I told my date I would run and get my gun. I ran to the house, unlocked the door, ran in the garage and unlocked the next door, run into the house and shut the alarm off. I ran upstairs to my bedroom and behind my waterbed, I pulled out a shotgun. Darn, not mine--it was Tom's old gun. On my tippytoes I reached to the top of my dresser to grab some shotgun shells. They didn't fit. I needed MY shotgun. I ran to the kitchen and emptied out the glass of Boy Scout badges to get at the gun cabinet key. No key--okay, where did I hide it? Oh, the little drawer, which I grabbed out. I ruffled through the papers and yes, there was the gun cabinet key. I ran to the living room and unlocked the door, but in rearranging the living room there was a lamp table right in front of the cabinet. I got the door open a few inches without knocking over the lamp and reached in. No, that one is my 308, no that one is Victor's 30-30, no that one is Tyler's 30-30. DAMN--no shotgun. I ran to my bedroom and looked in the corner of the closet--no gun. I ran downstairs and looked in Victor's closet and pulled out a gun case. I untied it quickly and pulled out….my muzzleloader! No shotgun. Okay, I put the muzzleloader back and set the alarm and locked both doors as I stumbled over the cats and kittens in the garage and ran back to the barn. John was waiting patiently and so was the rabid raccoon. (Continued in next post)

Story continued:

But, the raccoon saw me again and started to try to leave the stall. I couldn't take a chance of Ebony coming home and getting bit. I jumped through the window into the stall and John handed me a shovel. I hit the raccoon over the head. It turned and growled and spit at me and then tried to leave again. Two more hits and it was still crawling away. I stabbed it in the neck with the shovel to try to break it but only succeeded in pinning it in the soft dirt of the stall against a piece of rotting wood and couldn't get enough force to kill it. It was mad now and trying to get loose and growling and biting at the shovel and me! OH God, how must this look was my only thought. I've got to kill it quick. I was afraid to remove the shovel from it to hit it again for fear it would get the adrenaline rush to be able to run at me and bite me. I went for it--I lifted the shovel and slammed it on his neck in a better spot and after three stabs it finally stopped growling and biting at me. I picked it up with the shovel and took it out into the barnyard putting it on the cement barn cleaner base. It looked like it moved, so I gave it one last slam with the shovel and walked back into the stall. I climbed through the window into the barn and put the shovel back. He was very sweet when he said, "Are you okay? It had to be done." The tears started and I shook for a bit while he held me.

It sure was an impressive way to start a date. We went for a walk in the woods, ate dinner and watched TV--the rest of the night was uneventful at least. I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again though.

OMG I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!!! That is so crazy!!

Girl....I have done the same thing!!! Was like reading deja vu. You should have answered him again though if he was nice. If he was willing to go out again, at least he was understanding......either that, or he was hoping you would drink even MORE the next time. LMAO