Sad some people have never experienced marriage (98)
I tried to leave quite a few times, but the police back then, weren't that supportive! Then the times when I actually got away, he would hunt me down, and give the usual promises of: I am so sorry, I will never do it again, etc etc, all said with tears in his eyes...... then would come the brainwashing: no-one else will ever have you etc etc, blah blah
freominx: I tried to leave quite a few times, but the police back then, weren't that supportive! Then the times when I actually got away, he would hunt me down, and give the usual promises of: I am so sorry, I will never do it again, etc etc, all said with tears in his eyes...... then would come the brainwashing: no-one else will ever have you etc etc, blah blah
I don't like where you're taking me, it sounds like a nightmare.yep, it was normal....... and thanks to you and ralf for listening.
freominx: yep, it was normal....... and thanks to you and ralf for listening.
It is nice to know that you can open up about it all. Even that is a challenge in itself to some.
normalguy68: I don't want to go from relationship to relationship, through women like the phone book.
The stats all point in the direction of shorter relationship terms after each subsequent relationship. Maybe being affraid of the end of relationships causes fear of starting new ones?
The stats all point in the direction of shorter relationship terms after each subsequent relationship. Maybe being affraid of the end of relationships causes fear of starting new ones?
How do you expect to tolerate and learn if you don't give it a shot?
At least you could brush up your dating skills for when the right one does come along. 
Every meeting doesn't have to mean a relationship needs to be built from it. Dating is a great way to hone in on your skills and to discover not only what you want but what you don't want. I think you have an ideal stuck in your head and nobody is going to come close. I think it is more of a barrier or guard to protect yourself than a true reflection of what you want so that when girls don't measure up, you have an excuse to not get close to anyone.
freominx: I tried to leave quite a few times, but the police back then, weren't that supportive! Then the times when I actually got away, he would hunt me down, and give the usual promises of: I am so sorry, I will never do it again, etc etc, all said with tears in his eyes...... then would come the brainwashing: no-one else will ever have you etc etc, blah blah
did he move you away from your family?
Thats what alot of them do, isolate you, so that you aren't getting the feedback from family and friends that you are worthwhile. There's no balance to the destructive things they say, and after a while you just start to believe it 
In the end you become so isolated its even hard to make a decision ... that was my experience, but mine was nothing like what you've faced.
Its good that you guys did manage to do the runner.akaRALF: How do you expect to tolerate and learn if you don't give it a shot? At least you could brush up your dating skills for when the right one does come along. Every meeting doesn't have to mean a relationship needs to be built from it. Dating is a great way to hone in on your skills and to discover not only what you want but what you don't want. I think you have an ideal stuck in your head and nobody is going to come close. I think it is more of a barrier or guard to protect yourself than a true reflection of what you want so that when girls don't measure up, you have an excuse to not get close to anyone.
I've never been into big social gatherings, I'm more comfortable with close family and friends.Never been into pubs or drinking for pleasure.
Much prefer a roller skating rink to a bar, more fun.
Shell225: did he move you away from your family? Thats what alot of them do, isolate you, so that you aren't getting the feedback from family and friends that you are worthwhile. There's no balance to the destructive things they say, and after a while you just start to believe it In the end you become so isolated its even hard to make a decision ... that was my experience, but mine was nothing like what you've faced. Its good that you guys did manage to do the runner.
Same here Shell my situation was not as bad but it was bad enough. I felt totally isolated and had no money of my own, he made sure of that. l found the strength to end it when l saw the start of the same behaviour towards my daughter. He was starting to call her the same horrid names he would me.
The day l stood up to that bully l sware his jaw nearly hit the floor in shock. He raised his hand and l stood my ground looked him in the eye and did not move...he tried to act more threatening l still did not move...he walked away. He never laid another hand on me after that and he was gone a week later.
I've got goals and life plans to achieve.
A sea cruise in the Caribean.
To trip around the Peru, USA and Europe.
Build a house using corro.
But when you're clueless, hopeless and pathetic, it's a bit difficult realizing these goals without a significant other.
A sea cruise in the Caribean.
To trip around the Peru, USA and Europe.
Build a house using corro.
But when you're clueless, hopeless and pathetic, it's a bit difficult realizing these goals without a significant other.
skippyguy: Well said :), similar to the old saying you can't make someone love you...has no relevance whatsoever to being a loser ...pick yourself up, and try again, unfortunately life is about ups n downs, but sumthing is learnt from everyone, and you only grow stronger, in the long run :), Gosh i haven't even been married,
not for the fact..of not wanting it, things just haven't panned out so far, weather or not thats my vision, my bad luck, my karma...i will stil keep stepping up to the plate so to speak, this time im not bunting..lol
not for the fact..of not wanting it, things just haven't panned out so far, weather or not thats my vision, my bad luck, my karma...i will stil keep stepping up to the plate so to speak, this time im not bunting..lol
I reckon you would be a catch, Skippy.
normalguy68: I've got goals and life plans to achieve.
A sea cruise in the Caribean.
To trip around the Peru, USA and Europe.
Build a house using corro.
But when you're clueless, hopeless and pathetic, it's a bit difficult realizing these goals without a significant other.
A sea cruise in the Caribean.
To trip around the Peru, USA and Europe.
Build a house using corro.
But when you're clueless, hopeless and pathetic, it's a bit difficult realizing these goals without a significant other.
Im gonna call you on that. NO ONE makes you happy, NO ONE makes you a success, YOU make YOU happy, YOU follow YOUR dreams and rate your success on your own level.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
Shell225: Im gonna call you on that. NO ONE makes you happy, NO ONE makes you a success, YOU make YOU happy, YOU follow YOUR dreams and rate your success on your own level.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
They're only goals atm, they don't happen o/night, but it is more fun going to those places with someone by your side. It is hard to complete the picture when there are pieces of it missing.Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
Shell225: Im gonna call you on that. NO ONE makes you happy, NO ONE makes you a success, YOU make YOU happy, YOU follow YOUR dreams and rate your success on your own level.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
very well said Shell
Shell225: Im gonna call you on that. NO ONE makes you happy, NO ONE makes you a success, YOU make YOU happy, YOU follow YOUR dreams and rate your success on your own level.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
Everyone has to realize their goals on thier own, YES its fantastic to be able to share that success, but regardless of if there is someone at your side, only YOU can make it happen.
Life is not what happens to us. Life is what we do with what happens.
No one is clueless, hopeless or pathetic, go out and begin to realize those goals, and you just might find that you meet someone who wants to share your journey. But never let being alone stop you from embarking on the journey.
ooooooooh maybe im clueless........i'll get back to you on that
normalguy68: They're only goals atm, they don't happen o/night, but it is more fun going to those places with someone by your side. It is hard to complete the picture when there are pieces of it missing.
Yep they are goals, and we all need goals. But the picture isnt incomplete... YOU are the picture. YES another person may add some depth and colour to a part of our picture, but in the end we are the picture.
Pieces arent missing from us/you because we/you are alone. We are complete people with love to give, deserving of love, not broken. Being single doesnt break us.
normalguy68: It's easy to run a business, just lay down lots of hours and devotion and it happens. Love is another matter altogether
Nah, pretty much the same.
When you think about it, there is the initial risk involved, some investment, like you said, time, love, commitment, devotion, passion...all the things you need to make a relationship work. akaRALF: Nah, pretty much the same. When you think about it, there is the initial risk involved, some investment, like you said, time, love, commitment, devotion, passion...all the things you need to make a relationship work.
soooooo as long as you lay down the groundwork...everything else will work out..???
skippyguy: soooooo as long as you lay down the groundwork...everything else will work out..???
Men are like floor tiles, lay them properly the first time, and you can walk all over them forever.
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Loser? why? just because one part in your life didnt turn out the way you imagined?
You are only a loser if you cannot or will not move on, or if you keep that loser mindscape that may increase the chance of you repeating the same process and same mistakes.
If you think negative, you create negativity. if you think positive you are more likely to move on in a positive direction.
There are no guarantees at life, there are too many variables.
I dont consider myself sad that I never had a piece of paper, but I would consider myself sad if I had never taken a chance on love and someone. I did take that chance but it didnt work out but in the meantime I have gained so much experience, both good and bad, to take on into my future.
And that is nothing to be sad about
The stats all point in the direction of shorter relationship terms after each subsequent relationship. Maybe being affraid of the end of relationships causes fear of starting new ones?