This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it! ( Archived) (8)

Jun 10, 2011 7:11 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
mariespoodles
mariespoodlesmariespoodlesSydney, New South Wales Australia25 Threads 1,648 Posts
What I want in a man! Original List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Loves surprising me on weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Plans together time on weekends


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.


AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $750,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS'.



rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Jun 10, 2011 8:25 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
Frankinstien
FrankinstienFrankinstienSan Juan, Puerto Rico1 Threads 1,521 Posts
So tell me, how many on the list are you willing to settel for ? . . . . tinfoil hat wave
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Jun 10, 2011 8:31 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
lifesajoy
lifesajoylifesajoySand Fork, West Virginia USA4 Threads 404 Posts
Love It!!!!!!! I needed a good laugh tonight! Thanks!applause applause applause laugh laugh laugh
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Jun 10, 2011 8:33 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada11 Threads 18,576 Posts
Those are great!!!rolling on the floor laughing
A final note to the men....If you're looking for stability in your life, befriend a woman in menopause. Suddenly everything else in your life will seem rock-solid stable. rolling on the floor laughing grin hug
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Jun 10, 2011 9:15 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
mariespoodles
mariespoodlesmariespoodlesSydney, New South Wales Australia25 Threads 1,648 Posts
Frankinstien: So tell me, how many on the list are you willing to settel for ? . . . .


I don't settle sweetie! snooty

it's either what I want or I don't want it!! wink laugh
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Jun 10, 2011 9:16 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
mariespoodles
mariespoodlesmariespoodlesSydney, New South Wales Australia25 Threads 1,648 Posts
lifesajoy: Love It!!!!!!! I needed a good laugh tonight! Thanks!


your welcome!!thumbs up laugh
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Jun 10, 2011 9:17 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
mariespoodles
mariespoodlesmariespoodlesSydney, New South Wales Australia25 Threads 1,648 Posts
2intrigued: Those are great!!!
A final note to the men....If you're looking for stability in your life, befriend a woman in menopause. Suddenly everything else in your life will seem rock-solid stable.


thumbs up rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Jun 10, 2011 9:19 PM CST This is for the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
lovely4u7da
lovely4u7dalovely4u7dachicago, Illinois USA32 Threads 1,337 Posts
laugh truth is funnier than fictionthumbs up
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