Awkward Exs (25)
biggles90000: Ye all know i have i 3 year old little boy he be 4 now in November ,Who lives some distance away from me quite recently now he been asking alot of where i am lately and can he come to my house when i speak to him on the phone .I'm heading up now to see him next week.The advice I'm asking is me and mum don't get on now very well we don't really talk much and it not a very friendly relationship as parents it can be quiet horrible sometimes we just wind each other up.
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Going to court may be your best bet if your little boys mum cant or wont acknowledge that time with you can only be of benefit to your son.
Fraya: Going to court may be your best bet if your little boys mum cant or wont acknowledge that time with you can only be of benefit to your son.
I think its heading for the court direction again to be honest.
what about family counselling...... or a mediator?
Neenaw: what about family counselling...... or a mediator?
No she wont try anything like that she just get really awkward sometimes.
Fraya: Going to court may be your best bet if your little boys mum cant or wont acknowledge that time with you can only be of benefit to your son.
Its true if ya dont go to court it wil be wat she says goes after court it will be in black and white
best of luck with it
biggles90000: No she wont try anything like that she just get really awkward sometimes.
well then it seems court is the only option, but advise your solicitor she has refused family counselling....
best of luck with whatever you do..... hold tough
biggles90000: yep i do support him financially she gets 50 a week.
well take the finger out and get on the phone to a solicitor for some advice as to where to go from here.....if its the cost that bothers you, i think citizen infomation have info on a free solicitor service ?? so check in to that
you should be seen your child once ever 2 wks or 3 
biggles90000: yep i do support him financially she gets 50 a week.
When you go up to see him do you take him away from the house to a park or somewhere or does she make you stay at the house. If you take him away she should realise you can look after him. Sounds like she being awkward . .looks like court but theres no guarantees there either as per other threads about this subject
Taureanmale: When you go up to see him do you take him away from the house to a park or somewhere or does she make you stay at the house. If you take him away she should realise you can look after him. Sounds like she being awkward . .looks like court but theres no guarantees there either as per other threads about this subject
Nope she wont let me leave the house atall when im there dont why because i havent done anything wrong.The house is always full of people her friends or family she does this also to wind me up but i dont bite the bullet.
biggles90000: Ye all know i have i 3 year old little boy he be 4 now in November ,Who lives some distance away from me quite recently now he been asking alot of where i am lately and can he come to my house when i speak to him on the phone .I'm heading up now to see him next week.The advice I'm asking is me and mum don't get on now very well we don't really talk much and it not a very friendly relationship as parents it can be quiet horrible sometimes we just wind each other up.
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
I didn't know you had a child . Sorry you don't get to see him often . It is always sad when relationship break up if there are kids involved .
The only thing I would say is if you loved your sons mother in the past , then go back to that place of love and try to understand her fears.
In that I mean her protectivness towards you son , her fear of allowing him to be away from her for periods of time.
She is worried the child doesn't know you enough to spend that much time with you , somone else said it "take him out on your own" and prove you are capable .
If you loved her before , she must have some good qualities ?
Remember them and that fact that she wasn't always a "control freak " . You must have gotton on famously in the past . You can both do it again to protect and reinforce your little boy.
I am going on the premiss that this was a long term loving relationship , and not a fly by night thing . It would be difficult to foster a convivial relationship with the mother of your son if you guys didn't know each other long or well before you became parents together .
I'm lucky , my life is blighted by control freaks , I wonder why that is . Perhaps my attitude helps ,I am easy going and will look at the bigger picture when I am invovled with someone.
Maybe I attract like wise , I don't know . But all I will say is I'm one lucky woman.
Hope it works out swimmingly for you ,your ex and the little boy.
duckpate: I didn't know you had a child . Sorry you don't get to see him often . It is always sad when relationship break up if there are kids involved .
The only thing I would say is if you loved your sons mother in the past , then go back to that place of love and try to understand her fears.
In that I mean her protectivness towards you son , her fear of allowing him to be away from her for periods of time.
She is worried the child doesn't know you enough to spend that much time with you , somone else said it "take him out on your own" and prove you are capable .
If you loved her before , she must have some good qualities ?
Remember them and that fact that she wasn't always a "control freak " . You must have gotton on famously in the past . You can both do it again to protect and reinforce your little boy.
I am going on the premiss that this was a long term loving relationship , and not a fly by night thing . It would be difficult to foster a convivial relationship with the mother of your son if you guys didn't know each other long or well before you became parents together .
I'm lucky , my life is blighted by control freaks , I wonder why that is . Perhaps my attitude helps ,I am easy going and will look at the bigger picture when I am invovled with someone.
Maybe I attract like wise , I don't know . But all I will say is I'm one lucky woman.
Hope it works out swimmingly for you ,your ex and the little boy.
"my life ISN'T blighted"The only thing I would say is if you loved your sons mother in the past , then go back to that place of love and try to understand her fears.
In that I mean her protectivness towards you son , her fear of allowing him to be away from her for periods of time.
She is worried the child doesn't know you enough to spend that much time with you , somone else said it "take him out on your own" and prove you are capable .
If you loved her before , she must have some good qualities ?
Remember them and that fact that she wasn't always a "control freak " . You must have gotton on famously in the past . You can both do it again to protect and reinforce your little boy.
I am going on the premiss that this was a long term loving relationship , and not a fly by night thing . It would be difficult to foster a convivial relationship with the mother of your son if you guys didn't know each other long or well before you became parents together .
I'm lucky , my life is blighted by control freaks , I wonder why that is . Perhaps my attitude helps ,I am easy going and will look at the bigger picture when I am invovled with someone.
Maybe I attract like wise , I don't know . But all I will say is I'm one lucky woman.
Hope it works out swimmingly for you ,your ex and the little boy.
excuse the mistakes ,I am very tired.
duckpate: I didn't know you had a child . Sorry you don't get to see him often . It is always sad when relationship break up if there are kids involved .
The only thing I would say is if you loved your sons mother in the past , then go back to that place of love and try to understand her fears.
In that I mean her protectivness towards you son , her fear of allowing him to be away from her for periods of time.
She is worried the child doesn't know you enough to spend that much time with you , somone else said it "take him out on your own" and prove you are capable .
If you loved her before , she must have some good qualities ?
Remember them and that fact that she wasn't always a "control freak " . You must have gotton on famously in the past . You can both do it again to protect and reinforce your little boy.
I am going on the premiss that this was a long term loving relationship , and not a fly by night thing . It would be difficult to foster a convivial relationship with the mother of your son if you guys didn't know each other long or well before you became parents together .
I'm lucky , my life is blighted by control freaks , I wonder why that is . Perhaps my attitude helps ,I am easy going and will look at the bigger picture when I am invovled with someone.
Maybe I attract like wise , I don't know . But all I will say is I'm one lucky woman.
Hope it works out swimmingly for you ,your ex and the little boy.
The only thing I would say is if you loved your sons mother in the past , then go back to that place of love and try to understand her fears.
In that I mean her protectivness towards you son , her fear of allowing him to be away from her for periods of time.
She is worried the child doesn't know you enough to spend that much time with you , somone else said it "take him out on your own" and prove you are capable .
If you loved her before , she must have some good qualities ?
Remember them and that fact that she wasn't always a "control freak " . You must have gotton on famously in the past . You can both do it again to protect and reinforce your little boy.
I am going on the premiss that this was a long term loving relationship , and not a fly by night thing . It would be difficult to foster a convivial relationship with the mother of your son if you guys didn't know each other long or well before you became parents together .
I'm lucky , my life is blighted by control freaks , I wonder why that is . Perhaps my attitude helps ,I am easy going and will look at the bigger picture when I am invovled with someone.
Maybe I attract like wise , I don't know . But all I will say is I'm one lucky woman.
Hope it works out swimmingly for you ,your ex and the little boy.
Thank you very much she doesnt really care if i dont see him she said it on the phone she wasnt expecting me to hang around she got a big nasty shock when i took her to court the first time and she wont let me take him out on hes own aswell she always has to be there for some reason.
biggles90000: Nope she wont let me leave the house atall when im there dont why because i havent done anything wrong.The house is always full of people her friends or family she does this also to wind me up but i dont bite the bullet.
It seems to me that you have been agreeable and not at all aggresive by going with her wishes until now which is more than most people would do so you can console yourself that your son would be proud of you could he understant the current situation 
Part of being a parent albeit together or separated is putting your problems aside when it comes to the best for your child which again is what you have been doing. However seeing him for that amount of time is not enough and she should be willing to increase it slowly over time and also to include you and he being alone for periods of time and eventually you being able to take him to your house or away overnight. How else are you to maintain a bond with him 
If you ask her to do that in a calm, respecful way she may see the benefit of it for both of them. If not I think you should do whatever necessary to ensure that this will happen down the line, be that going to a solicitor or getting a court to grant access. I wouldnt mention the legal route to her before hand as it may spark a battle
Hope this helps but I think you can only be patient for so long and she cannot dominate things forever its simply selfish and unfair to your son
biggles90000: Ye all know i have i 3 year old little boy he be 4 now in November ,Who lives some distance away from me quite recently now he been asking alot of where i am lately and can he come to my house when i speak to him on the phone .I'm heading up now to see him next week.The advice I'm asking is me and mum don't get on now very well we don't really talk much and it not a very friendly relationship as parents it can be quiet horrible sometimes we just wind each other up.
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Hey Biggs,
my heart goes out to you! I do feel her fears from being away from her son and wanting to protect him. But why not start in small steps, try and talk to her and see if you can take your son out to a local cafe for some lunch on a visit for an hour and then bring him back and spend the rest of the visit there.
And then gradually build up the time you and him are out of the house.
That way she can then learn to trust you that you can look after him and he is alright but also that she can trust you will bring him back at the times stated.
biggles90000: Ye all know i have i 3 year old little boy he be 4 now in November ,Who lives some distance away from me quite recently now he been asking alot of where i am lately and can he come to my house when i speak to him on the phone .I'm heading up now to see him next week.The advice I'm asking is me and mum don't get on now very well we don't really talk much and it not a very friendly relationship as parents it can be quiet horrible sometimes we just wind each other up.
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
give her a few right hooks and knock some sense into the mare
Crazylegs: Hey Biggs,
my heart goes out to you! I do feel her fears from being away from her son and wanting to protect him. But why not start in small steps, try and talk to her and see if you can take your son out to a local cafe for some lunch on a visit for an hour and then bring him back and spend the rest of the visit there.
And then gradually build up the time you and him are out of the house.That way she can then learn to trust you that you can look after him and he is alright but also that she can trust you will bring him back at the times stated.
my heart goes out to you! I do feel her fears from being away from her son and wanting to protect him. But why not start in small steps, try and talk to her and see if you can take your son out to a local cafe for some lunch on a visit for an hour and then bring him back and spend the rest of the visit there.
And then gradually build up the time you and him are out of the house.That way she can then learn to trust you that you can look after him and he is alright but also that she can trust you will bring him back at the times stated.
cheers thank crazy ah yea all i wanted to do was take him for a walk up the road and she told me no hopefully now it will sort itself out but when i reach the house im bounded there straight away she wont let me out of her sight.but shes going to have to let the apron string go sometime all i want do is help and be hes dad.
biggles90000: Ye all know i have i 3 year old little boy he be 4 now in November ,Who lives some distance away from me quite recently now he been asking alot of where i am lately and can he come to my house when i speak to him on the phone .I'm heading up now to see him next week.The advice I'm asking is me and mum don't get on now very well we don't really talk much and it not a very friendly relationship as parents it can be quiet horrible sometimes we just wind each other up.
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .
I have no experience of what your going through so my view point may not be valid but I think now is the time in your sons life to build a relationship with you. Otherwise when he gets older he may have a chip on his shoulder and "dis-own" you altogether. After all, all the information he is getting about his father is from his mother!!! You seem to be a
How is your relationship with her parents (and her's with your parents) Can they do anything to convince her? Citizens advise seems to be the correct option before taking it further.
Rest assured, there will come a day when she will have to ask you to take him. Hope this works out for you.
Tried to pm ya this . Isnt it leitrim . .if ur near carrick there s an indoor avdenture centre across from supermacs and lidl . .and over mulveys toyshop in at the back . . .well there used be one . .could you suggest the 3 of you go in and he might go with you on activities
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Now because he is starting to wondering where hes dad is i would like to have a lot more time with him but the problem i have is with hes mum, anytime i ask could he come down at the weekends its a flat no she wont even let me have him on a trial bases or i get excuses like he wont stay with me extra ad he doesn't know me she can be a control freak at times.
I would like to know as anyone else had the same problem and how can i approach the ex about it again without there been a massive fight i am trying to keep away from the court option as much as possible because i want to settle this like adults.Any advice would be great thanks .