Throwing the Baby Out with the Bathwater...? (17)
xxDandelionxx: Here's one for you.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....hi...D....very much so...some people carry so much past bsggage....they really should,nt be on here....all doom and gloom......jmo....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....hi...D....very much so...some people carry so much past bsggage....they really should,nt be on here....all doom and gloom......jmo....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
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Thanks, TH..... I wasn't meaning peeps here on CS or any other site particularly. Just in life in general.
You think its down to carrying a lot of past baggage specifically? What about realising you may be going down the same path as a result and trying to change that? Is that possible, do you think?
You think its down to carrying a lot of past baggage specifically? What about realising you may be going down the same path as a result and trying to change that? Is that possible, do you think?
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It is possible but I truly think there are so many inconsiderate people in this world that it is tough to find someone who cares enough to make the effort to appreciate the person they are with.
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IMunbreakable1: It is possible but I truly think there are so many inconsiderate people in this world that it is tough to find someone who cares enough to make the effort to appreciate the person they are with.
I think that's a fair point, my friend
Its a shame we have to become so jaded, isn't it? You're a breath of fresh air indeed!------ This thread is Archived ------
i think this happens...or that...if a couple meet to soon after a breakup...
i tried dating a week after spliting from my ex....
REVENGE!!!1
NOW....2 year on shes a thing of the past!!1
i tried dating a week after spliting from my ex....
REVENGE!!!1
NOW....2 year on shes a thing of the past!!1
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Has got to be a felony.....
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xxDandelionxx: Here's one for you.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Yep, I am living proof of what you say. I have been mistreated and yes I am on the defensive whenever I meet someone. I don't let them get much past hello so I just don't get into dating or relationships. I don't compare anyone new with someone in my past though; I just shut myself down from them completely and avoid the situation. I will however let someone be a friend to me.
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xxDandelionxx: Here's one for you.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
We may for whatever reasons. I had bad experience in childhood when saw my mother beaten by stepfather and was abused myself by someone, so I catch myself obsessing that a man is dangerous for woman's life. These thoughts sneak in my head quite often, and although I know they are not logical, the fear tells its story. You have to have quite a will to stop it.
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BTW, Wiki will tell you the origin of the expression "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" but they don't give the logic behind it or how it came into existence. Here is the story.
At least 200 years ago long before indoor plumbing people didn't bathe but maybe once a month (Except in France). Unless you lived near a stream you had a big tub to bathe in and the water had to be hauled by bucket usually uphill to fill the tub. It was customary for everybody in the family to use the same bath water and of course there was a pecking order as to who bathed first. The husband got top priority I suppose because he did all the heavy work. The kids were next followed by the wife and finally the baby got a bath. By the time the baby was bathed, the water was so dirty that you couldn't see him in there hence the expression, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water".
Ever wonder why there are so many weddings in June? Because in some places people only took a bath once a year, in April or May so by June they still don't smell too bad Any later after the summer heat comes and they start to sweat it's too late. Also this is the origin of the custom of the bride carrying a bouquet of flowers.
At least 200 years ago long before indoor plumbing people didn't bathe but maybe once a month (Except in France). Unless you lived near a stream you had a big tub to bathe in and the water had to be hauled by bucket usually uphill to fill the tub. It was customary for everybody in the family to use the same bath water and of course there was a pecking order as to who bathed first. The husband got top priority I suppose because he did all the heavy work. The kids were next followed by the wife and finally the baby got a bath. By the time the baby was bathed, the water was so dirty that you couldn't see him in there hence the expression, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water".
Ever wonder why there are so many weddings in June? Because in some places people only took a bath once a year, in April or May so by June they still don't smell too bad Any later after the summer heat comes and they start to sweat it's too late. Also this is the origin of the custom of the bride carrying a bouquet of flowers.
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xxDandelionxx: Here's one for you.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Morning Dandelion. I am a mover on-er too much time wasted on totally useless people and ones happiness is the most treasured gift one can own. If you are a happy person you get what you give back happiness don't stay with people who want to drag you down.
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IMunbreakable1: It is possible but I truly think there are so many inconsiderate people in this world that it is tough to find someone who cares enough to make the effort to appreciate the person they are with.
I care
There are good folks in this world bide your time she / he will surface when you least expect it I truly believe it and don't worry about the bad eggs in this world gotta feel sorry for them their loss.------ This thread is Archived ------
xxDandelionxx: Thanks, TH..... I wasn't meaning peeps here on CS or any other site particularly. Just in life in general.
You think its down to carrying a lot of past baggage specifically? What about realising you may be going down the same path as a result and trying to change that? Is that possible, do you think?
You think its down to carrying a lot of past baggage specifically? What about realising you may be going down the same path as a result and trying to change that? Is that possible, do you think?
Perhaps by this time in life we are still not quite sure exactly of what we do want, but we are absolutely certain of what we don't want in a partner. Learning from history and experience is wise for self preservation, and natural to proceed with a small amount of caution and vigilance I think....
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joyaepace: We may for whatever reasons. I had bad experience in childhood when saw my mother beaten by stepfather and was abused myself by someone, so I catch myself obsessing that a man is dangerous for woman's life. These thoughts sneak in my head quite often, and although I know they are not logical, the fear tells its story. You have to have quite a will to stop it.
I watched my mom get beaten by my dad too so I understand where you are coming from. Then I met a guy that hit me from behind while I was recuperating from a crippling car accident; so yes I agree that a man can be dangerouse for a woman's life. I get real nervous when a man is even walking behind me as I think there is potential for him to hit me.
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: Whoops single4ever, sorry.
The irony is all three of us went through the same sort of experience.
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There are some very interesting and most valid takes on this, and I am grateful to you all. There is no doubt that experiences we have, particularly ones early in life or those very significant do "mould" us to a degree, and form our perceptions later in life. Some things are hard to shake off....
I think we are all susceptible, including me, though we may not realise it. Those that do clearly have an enlightenment and an awareness about themselves. It takes a heck of a lot to 'stand outside of one's situation' in order to realise why they behave the way they do or or receptive/non-receptive in the way they are.
The question was not asked in regard to me, but someone else. I am striving to understand which is essential if you are trying to make a success of a relationship that means so much to you, isn't it?
Thanks so much, everyone.....
I think we are all susceptible, including me, though we may not realise it. Those that do clearly have an enlightenment and an awareness about themselves. It takes a heck of a lot to 'stand outside of one's situation' in order to realise why they behave the way they do or or receptive/non-receptive in the way they are.
The question was not asked in regard to me, but someone else. I am striving to understand which is essential if you are trying to make a success of a relationship that means so much to you, isn't it?
Thanks so much, everyone.....
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xxDandelionxx: Here's one for you.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps? Love to hear your views.....
Hi dandelion,been off line for a few days and just came across your thread.
Do you not think that we as humans carry all our baggage around,and sometimes forget to unload,for fear of forgetting the past. There are those that seem to want constant reminders of past hurts,and I never can understand why this should be.
Some people wear it like a badge of honour,instead of rethinking where past relationships went wrong,and trying to move forward with a different perspective.
If you imagine that every man/woman you meet is going to cause you grief,then you will be forever stuck in the painful past.
It's about trust I know ,and some hurts go deep making it difficult to move forward,but if you never lower the drawbridge,take off the armour,and open yourself up to new beginnings,you will never be able to move on and be happy.j.m.o.
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Created: Aug 2011
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Would you think that someone who felt they had been mis-treated, taken for granted and discarded would naturally ensure they dealt with a relationship in a completely different way? Or is there the danger of history repeating itself?
If someone is so hell-bent on not being put upon and taken advantage of again, do they unwittingly go on the defensive and pre-empt what may never actual happen? Are comparisons made between former partners and current relationships to the point where one can actually be destructive in a relationship?
Pride comes before a fall, as they say....
What do you think, peeps?