Don't know where to go from here... ( Archived) (20)

I have been chatting back and forth with someone not far from me. We've had some pretty good lengthy (but to the point) conversing going on. I have had several of those recently, and from this experience I have gathered that unless there is some transition step forward (like a phone conversation or a face to face meet up) soon suggested by me, the flame just goes out.
I just recently mentioned to this young woman that maybe it is time we organize a face to face, or I could maybe give her a call and do a brief phone chat. I just feel that unless something like this happens, she will, like previous experience dictates, lose interest. Again. Here is my problem. She said "I don't like to give out my number online. Had a bad experience." She had a bad experience. Fine. Understandable. She does not know me, so I can't just expect her to just suddenly realize that I am a trustworthy and respectful guy with completely honorable intentions. But what should my response be here? She has been responding to my messages with ample retorts, so that means she has to be at least SLIGHTLY interested, yet she shoots down an offer to progress things. Am I wrong to think that maybe she doesn't know what she is looking for right now? After all, what's the point of doing this whole online dating thing if you're not ready to progress things? Should I ask her if maybe she wants to hold off on that for a while? Women like take charge guys, yet are overly cautious. I don't get it. What's the appropriate, and polite response I should send her, that will ensure that we can keep talking with a good chance of a later meet up, and without making her too uncomfortable about anything?

20 Views and no response. Should I have posted this in another category or......?

Maybe suggest Skype? Not sure what else to suggest other than to not waste too much time and energy on someone who doesn't want to meet. In spite of a bad experience, why is she still online? What's her reason for being online if she doesn't want to meet for real.

Don't discount what they tell you - for example, I corresponded before with someone who was always saying he'd be single forever, didn't date in real life etc., shot down my offers and suggestions to get together ......... so where does that leave one but to assume that they are content to be simply online.

I'm looking for someone who wants to take it further. Its really not rocket science - so if you feel like your wheels are spinning that's time to reassess, address the issue and make a decision as to what will happen next or whether there will be next steps at all.


If she lives close to you I really don't understand the hesitation
in meeting if there has been a good connection established. Long distance is a little more difficult but still doable if both are willing. I guess its just an indicator of their true intentions.

I do know for myself that my preception of being comfortable and that of someone else can differ greatly. So perhaps you just need to be a little more patient and reapproach with your offer.

Give her your number. If she declines to ring, move on.

There's nothing to get. Ask her to meet you at a coffee shop or something like that for lunch on the weekend. If she comes up with an excuse move on. If she says yes then good luck.

take a left dued..ul get there..

I mentioned in the thread that I suggested meeting up also. I guess she discounted that offer or something because I got no answer on that one. Honestly, I just don't know what to say. It seems like if I get forward with things, I'll come off as rude. It is hard to assess what someone means to convey online. If I don't....we're left with this. I guess what I really want to know is, what is a nice polite way to state that I'm ready to not just keep this online, without, once again making her uncomfortable?