Security in a Relationship? (63)
Ur_Knight: I was going to say that I would bring the jello and my G-string for a wrestling match, but...
the mental picture of me in a thong had me laughing so hard I couldn't see the monitor
the mental picture of me in a thong had me laughing so hard I couldn't see the monitor
I don't want to even try to IMAGINE that!!
A real life private show would be better!
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felixis99: under some circumstances I think these are good cautions - I think if someone one pulls away when you try to hug them it's best to give them some space - and I doubt anyone was suggesting holding someone agaist their will - but sometimes a hug will bring a closeness that turns anger into a good conversation
if not, obviously back off
I doubt the list was meant for extreme circumstances
but also if your partner can't hug you from behind and hold you when you are down...that's a problem and it's not his
if not, obviously back off
I doubt the list was meant for extreme circumstances
but also if your partner can't hug you from behind and hold you when you are down...that's a problem and it's not his
Someone sneaking up from behind and grabbing me while walking, would frighten me. Holding me from behind is another story.
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I don't know if it is "pretty bad or not".you are the expert.Again a person with insecurities, i imagine is rather difficult to get rid of them (insecurities)
HealthyLiving: I have the same problem Chris. And I say "problem" because I know how dangerous it is to be in a relationship with an insecure person! Thus, I do not go on many dates, very few in fact.
I have a companion/friend whom I see once a week. I choose to keep distance between us only because I see that he is insecure and controlling. I love everything else about him, but his insecurity would ruin a serious relationship. So, we spend an evening together watching the political news, discussing Politics and Corrupt Governments, which we both thoroughly enjoy, and I cook us a good meal. That's the extent of it for the past year and a half. I had to draw the line at "friends only".
So, I guess it can be pretty bad??
At least I have a friend to share with!
HL
I have a companion/friend whom I see once a week. I choose to keep distance between us only because I see that he is insecure and controlling. I love everything else about him, but his insecurity would ruin a serious relationship. So, we spend an evening together watching the political news, discussing Politics and Corrupt Governments, which we both thoroughly enjoy, and I cook us a good meal. That's the extent of it for the past year and a half. I had to draw the line at "friends only".
So, I guess it can be pretty bad??
At least I have a friend to share with!
HL
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Ur_Knight: I was going to say that I would bring the jello and my G-string for a wrestling match, but...
the mental picture of me in a thong had me laughing so hard I couldn't see the monitor
the mental picture of me in a thong had me laughing so hard I couldn't see the monitor
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chris27292729: I don't know if it is "pretty bad or not".you are the expert.Again a person with insecurities, i imagine is rather difficult to get rid of them (insecurities)
I am no "expert", just have many accounts of experiences.
And Yes, insecurities can be difficult to get rid of, but they CAN be Conquored. I am living proof! I used to be the most insecure and fearful person. I decided to make changes, 25 years ago. the person I am today, is a totally different person. I can not say how long it took me to grow into a new mindset, as it was a gradual process and I am still growing and changing today, but the major changes took place within the first 7 years, through counseling and prayer, much like Davids, in Psalm 34.
Psa 34:2 Humble people, listen and be happy, while I brag about the LORD.
Psa 34:3 Praise the LORD with me. Let us honor his name.
Psa 34:4 I went to the LORD for help, and he listened. He saved me from all that I fear.
Psa 34:5 If you look to him for help, he will put a smile on your face. You will have no need to be ashamed.
Psa 34:6 As a poor, helpless man I prayed to the LORD, and he heard me. He saved me from all my troubles.
Psa 34:7 The LORD'S angel builds a camp around his followers, and he protects them.
Psa 34:8 Give the LORD a chance to show you how good he is. Great blessings belong to those who depend on him!
It was only the begining in a walk that has made me who I have become today. And I wear a BIG SMILE on my face and I have JOY!
HL
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HAHA.. You know what the problem is? You ladies have all these guys scared to act like themselves because you expect men to "read your mind" Men are simple and somewhat oblivious to the needs of others. Not all men, but most. I'm actually pretty decent at understanding what people need but I don't believe that a woman should sit there and pick apart a man and judge every move he makes either. This list explains what a womans needs may be and every woman is different. Yes, men should try and consider the feelings of his lady (everyone actually) but he cannot be expected to know what she wants at all times. This is why i believe that women should communicate what they want as well. If you want to be held, say "hunny, please hold me." Women may be able to read between the lines of what another woman says but you have to understand one thing ladies, we're not women!!! lol
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IMunbreakable1: HAHA.. You know what the problem is? You ladies have all these guys scared to act like themselves because you expect men to "read your mind" Men are simple and somewhat oblivious to the needs of others. Not all men, but most. I'm actually pretty decent at understanding what people need but I don't believe that a woman should sit there and pick apart a man and judge every move he makes either. This list explains what a womans needs may be and every woman is different. Yes, men should try and consider the feelings of his lady (everyone actually) but he cannot be expected to know what she wants at all times. This is why i believe that women should communicate what they want as well. If you want to be held, say "hunny, please hold me." Women may be able to read between the lines of what another woman says but you have to understand one thing ladies, we're not women!!! lol
The answer to most, not all, problems is communication.------ This thread is Archived ------
montecito: The answer to most, not all, problems is communication.
Absolutely!!!
That is why it is so important to communicate and get to know someone and allow them to become your best friend before ever considering a deeper intimate relationship. You will have had time to communicate and understand one another enough to know if taking it to the next level would be the right thing to do.
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markizamkd25: i stopped believing in fairytales long time ago...
yeah me too , a prince who riding a horse its not real
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IMunbreakable1: I agree healthy, but a woman has to open up in the beginning to ever allow the man to even come close to understanding what she wants and vice versa.
Would it not be easier for both parties to put away their fears and open up, if it were on the table that a love relationship was not expected, but instead, the building of a friendship?
Secure people do this... friends first and we'll see what happens from there... I just love to read this in profiles!
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Not true, you will find them in a equestrian event.-
manroe23: yeah me too , a prince who riding a horse its not real
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HealthyLiving: Would it not be easier for both parties to put away their fears and open up, if it were on the table that a love relationship was not expected, but instead, the building of a friendship?
Secure people do this... friends first and we'll see what happens from there... I just love to read this in profiles!
Secure people do this... friends first and we'll see what happens from there... I just love to read this in profiles!
Me too!! But even when someone puts that in their profile in my experience, many are still pretty keen to rush on ahead!!
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IMunbreakable1: HAHA.. You know what the problem is? You ladies have all these guys scared to act like themselves because you expect men to "read your mind" Men are simple and somewhat oblivious to the needs of others. Not all men, but most. I'm actually pretty decent at understanding what people need but I don't believe that a woman should sit there and pick apart a man and judge every move he makes either. This list explains what a womans needs may be and every woman is different. Yes, men should try and consider the feelings of his lady (everyone actually) but he cannot be expected to know what she wants at all times. This is why i believe that women should communicate what they want as well. If you want to be held, say "hunny, please hold me." Women may be able to read between the lines of what another woman says but you have to understand one thing ladies, we're not women!!! lol
Glad you said "may be" and glad you said "every woman is different". I for one find the original list mostly unappealing.
Yep! Communication is surely the key.
I think a couple of the more astute women have noticed that guys aren't women and that their thought patterns are different from women.
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Yes you are absolutely right,lets become friends for 30 years and we can decide just before this time period coming to its end.
EagleWoman: Me too!! But even when someone puts that in their profile in my experience, many are still pretty keen to rush on ahead!!
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chris27292729: Yes you are absolutely right,lets become friends for 30 years and we can decide just before this time period coming to its end.
Like the couple I met recently who married after being together for 27 years coz they didn't want to rush things? ------ This thread is Archived ------
HealthyLiving: ALL GUYS NEED TO READ THIS.
-When she pulls away, pull her back.
-When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
-When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
-When she's scared, protect her.
-When she steals your favorite hoodie, let her wear it.
-When she says that she loves you, she really does mean it.
-When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
-When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
-When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she
does.
? -When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.
-When she says she's, okay don't believe it.
-Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
-Watch her favorite movie with her even if you think it's stupid.
-Don't talk about other girls around her.
-Kiss her in the pouring rain.
-When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose butt am I kicking, babe?"
Guys: Would you do this?
Girls: Would you love a guy who does this?
All: Would you add or take away from this list?
Guys: Let the women know what your list would be. What things are important to make you feel secure in the relationship?
-When she pulls away, pull her back.
-When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
-When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
-When she's scared, protect her.
-When she steals your favorite hoodie, let her wear it.
-When she says that she loves you, she really does mean it.
-When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
-When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
-When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she
does.
? -When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.
-When she says she's, okay don't believe it.
-Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
-Watch her favorite movie with her even if you think it's stupid.
-Don't talk about other girls around her.
-Kiss her in the pouring rain.
-When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose butt am I kicking, babe?"
Guys: Would you do this?
Girls: Would you love a guy who does this?
All: Would you add or take away from this list?
Guys: Let the women know what your list would be. What things are important to make you feel secure in the relationship?
I would do these things, and have done all of the above.
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markizamkd25: i stopped believing in fairytales long time ago...
you have had bad experiences
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chris27292729: Not true, you will find them in a equestrian event.-
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YES!! It's worth presenting yourself as who you really are!!
While you're messing around pretending to be someone who you think "might fit in better with other's expectations" you could miss meeting the one who likes you for who you are!!
Anyway, I'd rather be without a lover/partner than have to pretend to be someone I'm not!!!
I have enough friends who are on the same wavelengh as me to share plenty of my life with.