The Bossy Wife. (10)
lostabone: An old man was laying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen.
With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie.
His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"
With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie.
His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"
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Dude, that's funny! 
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just one more reason to not get married again,thanks for the laugh hahaha
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Just another point to prove women think ahead...and multitask...
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lostabone: An old man was laying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen.
With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie.
His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"
With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie.
His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"
Pls dedicate this story to the young wannabe husbands
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
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25th Wedding Anniversary
At the banquet of Tom and Susan’s 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”
Tom responded, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”
At the banquet of Tom and Susan’s 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”
Tom responded, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”
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Before It Starts.
A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy, in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, "Gimme a beer before it starts". She gives him a beer.
About 15 minutes later, he says again, "Gimme a beer before it starts".
Again, she gives him a beer.
A few minutes later, he asks again for a beer.
"Don't you think you're exaggerating? It hasn't been half an hour that you got here and you already had two beers. I'm getting fed up with this.
The husband looks up and mumbles, "Now it starts . . .
A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy, in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, "Gimme a beer before it starts". She gives him a beer.
About 15 minutes later, he says again, "Gimme a beer before it starts".
Again, she gives him a beer.
A few minutes later, he asks again for a beer.
"Don't you think you're exaggerating? It hasn't been half an hour that you got here and you already had two beers. I'm getting fed up with this.
The husband looks up and mumbles, "Now it starts . . .
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Created: Mar 2012
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With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie.
His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"