GET REAL ( Archived) (86)

Aug 16, 2012 8:30 AM CST GET REAL
chris27292729
chris27292729chris27292729IOS island, South Aegean Greece93 Threads 15,811 Posts
I think "lankycrewman" is your man,he is good with someone's else children,i suggest the 2 of you join forces.-handshake wave
Bluefish22: lankycrewman = "I was married for 22 yrs, raised children who were not mine, but from 4 previous marriages and all she wanted and wants is my money, because she was and is too lazy to get out and get an education and a job."

But I am willing to share all my happiness with my future other half gladly.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 8:39 AM CST GET REAL
jac379: So, how are your traits of bitterness, resentment and criticism working for you?

Still single are you?

Do you want to remain single?


My bitterness, and resentment has kept me surviving this long. With what she done to me and the scammers out there, it has placed me on the error of caution. And yes I am still single, but would enjoy sharing a future with the right person, Thanks for asking.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 8:43 AM CST GET REAL
vodla3
vodla3vodla3Rockhampton, Queensland Australia282 Posts
leni0822: well,stay single( forever) and enjoy your money alone


Oh dear,u'r moral code of practices r of "high" standard !?? Why wouldn't u offer him assistence, to share his hard earn $$ with U ?? If he accept that offer,am sure at least ONE of two will be happy !professor
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 8:51 AM CST GET REAL
vodla3: Oh dear,u'r moral code of practices r of "high" standard !?? Why wouldn't u offer him assistence, to share his hard earn $$ with U ?? If he accept that offer,am sure at least ONE of two will be happy !


She looks like all she can share is one big heartache, I have had enough of them, at least for the time being.frustrated
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:07 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822
leni0822leni0822taipie, Taipei Taiwan1 Threads 1,486 Posts
vodla3: Oh dear,u'r moral code of practices r of "high" standard !?? Why wouldn't u offer him assistence, to share his hard earn $$ with U ?? If he accept that offer,am sure at least ONE of two will be happy !


well mister...i can earn my own money..and thanks for your advice but no thanks..save it for others...have a nice daypeace
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:09 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822: wow!!!who are you to judge me like that..you don't even know me??SHAME ON YOU...that's my opinion,he is complaining about his life so i make a comment to enjoy his money alone.. and i think that is the right thing to do,if you don't feel good spending your hard earned money to someone else enjoy it for yourself only.how come you are telling this nasty things to me???we don't even mail each other and i did'nt email you too coz i am not interested with someone like you...you are barking at the wrong tree


I do not mind sharing my money, with someone special, as long as she is willing to try and meet me in the middle.

May I say that you are very fisty when it comes to your on feelings, and I like that. I am sorry, if I offend anyone, but a hurt is a hurt, and with all the comments, I am starting to feel better and laughing again.doh
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:18 AM CST GET REAL
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
lankycrewman: My bitterness, and resentment has kept me surviving this long. With what she done to me and the scammers out there, it has placed me on the error of caution. And yes I am still single, but would enjoy sharing a future with the right person, Thanks for asking.

So, are you happy with mere survival?

Your OP comes across as if you value your money as the greatest priority. It puts women in a position where they'd be awfully wary about money issues, wondering whether accepting so much as an offer of an ice-cream from you was going to be resented. Being on edge, waiting for judgment and fault to be found is not condusive to a happy, healthy relationship.

You have no control over other people's behaviour. Do you think that by creating this thread you'll have some influence over other people's honesty, or ethical codes? Do you think that your inbox will be flooded with women saying, "Pick me! Pick me! I want to be under constant suspicion for being a money grabbing, lazy user!Please, please, I want that resentment directed at me!"?

The only person you have control over is yourself. If you feel you need to hold onto your bitterness and resentment to survive, that's your choice, but you need to accept the consequences that go along with that. If you would like your life to be different, you have to choose other options in order to get a different result.

The people who get a lot of attention on sites like these are the people who come across as those who like other people. If you project that you do indeed like other people, other people will interact with you on the premiss that you might like them and treat them with kindness - not financial generosity, but kindness and warmth. Its an emotional/cognitive/behavioural thing.

If you want to be the kind of person who attracts others, you need to work on liking other people and liking women in particular, given you'd like to share your life with a woman. In order to do that, you need to let go of your bitterness and resentment.

What do you think will happen if you let go of your bitterness and resentment? Its unlikely that you'll suddenly go paws up without a pulse, so let's examine surivival: Is it that your anger keeps you functioning, in which case why can't more positive emotions keep you functioning? Its a helluva lot less draining, y'know.

Is it that you're putting up barriers in the belief that if you rant about your ex, you'll not end up with someone the same and so you're protecting yourself? Its true, this will protect you, but only by virtue of the fact that no woman in her right mind is going to touch with a barge pole with your current attitude. You might be able to swap your ex for a woman who isn't in her right mind, though. How do you think that'll work out for you?

I appreciate you might be letting off steam with this thread, but how long have you been doing that for and has it got you anywhere? Have you progressed? Why shoot yourself in the foot and let of steam like this, here of all places?

The world is full of shady characters, just as sites like these are. Its also full of absolutely wonderful people. Which camp do you wish to associate with? Make your own choice, live with the consequences, but I recommend you learn to like people again.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:23 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822
leni0822leni0822taipie, Taipei Taiwan1 Threads 1,486 Posts
lankycrewman: I will stay single and enjoy what I work for, money is not everything, but it helps to see the past, present and future. at least it is not being taken away by people who only wants to steal it and your life's work. If I offend you then I am sorry, but this is how I feel.



you didn't offend me at all..it is the right thing to do i guess.some people really used you and if you let it happen to you..you will end up nothing.sad truth of life...goodluck if you are still searching,hope you find what you are looking forwine
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:27 AM CST GET REAL
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Hi Leni, long time no see. wave

(You tell 'em, hun. laugh )
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:31 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822
leni0822leni0822taipie, Taipei Taiwan1 Threads 1,486 Posts
jac379: Hi Leni, long time no see.

(You tell 'em, hun. )



hello beautifulwave ..how are you?

i really miss your comments,one of a kind.bouquet
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:36 AM CST GET REAL
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
leni0822: hello beautiful ..how are you?

i really miss your comments,one of a kind.

I'm doing well thank you, my daughter's doing well with college, my granddaughter's 19 months old now and always up to something she shouldn't be. laugh

Things good with you?

I've missed everyone here. Its so good to be back. yay
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:36 AM CST GET REAL
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
lankycrewman: I wonder when will people tell the truth about themselves. I have been on many dating sites, and all I have found is people who can not tell about themselves or the truth. I have met scammers, clingers, and just people who are just out to take your hard earned working money.

They have come for different parts of the world to sites like this, and they just want your money.

I work hard for what I have and work just as hard to keep it but then one day you think the time is right for that special someone and then you get married. Years of being together, then you find out all they want is your money and not you. They want it to give to who ever they want and especially their children, which none of them are yours.

I was married for 22 yrs, raised children who were not mine, but from 4 previous marriages and all she wanted and wants is my money, because she was and is too lazy to get out and get an education and a job.

Some people say that I am too hard, but I work for my money to pay my way, and I expect the same from my mate, they do not have to make the same as I do but at least try to met me somewhere in the middle.



Married for 22 years and supporting someone else’s children that must have been love but then it certainly was not enough to keep you together.

For the scammers, it does not take many connected-neurons to acknowledge them and to know what to do.

If you want a partner that is economically independent, then marry a partner that is economically independent.


"...they do not have to make the same as I do but at least try to met me somewhere in the middle."

Why to settle for the middle? Could you get one that even makes more than you or could that be a problem?


grin
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:45 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822
leni0822leni0822taipie, Taipei Taiwan1 Threads 1,486 Posts
jac379: I'm doing well thank you, my daughter's doing well with college, my granddaughter's 19 months old now and always up to something she shouldn't be.

Things good with you?

I've missed everyone here. Its so good to be back.




yay teddybear
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 9:57 AM CST GET REAL
leni0822: you didn't offend me at all..it is the right thing to do i guess.some people really used you and if you let it happen to you..you will end up nothing.sad truth of life...goodluck if you are still searching,hope you find what you are looking for


I am looking and yes I have and was abused, by my ex and some scammers on dating sites. I am looking with my heart and mind. Key words makes me run, and delete them from my list. I guess I will always look, to share things. I do not have a lot, but the one thing I truly want to share is the future, not the past. This has been a way for me to vent it out and try to start over, forgetting the past. THANKS.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 10:05 AM CST GET REAL
jac379: So, are you happy with mere survival?

Your OP comes across as if you value your money as the greatest priority. It puts women in a position where they'd be awfully wary about money issues, wondering whether accepting so much as an offer of an ice-cream from you was going to be resented. Being on edge, waiting for judgment and fault to be found is not condusive to a happy, healthy relationship.

You have no control over other people's behaviour. Do you think that by creating this thread you'll have some influence over other people's honesty, or ethical codes? Do you think that your inbox will be flooded with women saying, "Pick me! Pick me! I want to be under constant suspicion for being a money grabbing, lazy user!Please, please, I want that resentment directed at me!"?

The only person you have control over is yourself. If you feel you need to hold onto your bitterness and resentment to survive, that's your choice, but you need to accept the consequences that go along with that. If you would like your life to be different, you have to choose other options in order to get a different result.

The people who get a lot of attention on sites like these are the people who come across as those who like other people. If you project that you do indeed like other people, other people will interact with you on the premiss that you might like them and treat them with kindness - not financial generosity, but kindness and warmth. Its an emotional/cognitive/behavioural thing.

If you want to be the kind of person who attracts others, you need to work on liking other people and liking women in particular, given you'd like to share your life with a woman. In order to do that, you need to let go of your bitterness and resentment.

What do you think will happen if you let go of your bitterness and resentment? Its unlikely that you'll suddenly go paws up without a pulse, so let's examine surivival: Is it that your anger keeps you functioning, in which case why can't more positive emotions keep you functioning? Its a helluva lot less draining, y'know.

Is it that you're putting up barriers in the belief that if you rant about your ex, you'll not end up with someone the same and so you're protecting yourself? Its true, this will protect you, but only by virtue of the fact that no woman in her right mind is going to touch with a barge pole with your current attitude. You might be able to swap your ex for a woman who isn't in her right mind, though. How do you think that'll work out for you?

I appreciate you might be letting off steam with this thread, but how long have you been doing that for and has it got you anywhere? Have you progressed? Why shoot yourself in the foot and let of steam like this, here of all places?

The world is full of shady characters, just as sites like these are. Its also full of absolutely wonderful people. Which camp do you wish to associate with? Make your own choice, live with the consequences, but I recommend you learn to like people again.


This has been a way for me to vent, and get some insight into my own feelings. What you, Leni and others have said is true but I did not start this thread to be mean or resentful to women, or bash them. It has taken me this long to vent and get some relief.

I turned my divorce into work, working 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week. I thought it was time to turn loose, vent and see what happens.Liking people is no problem, it is trusting them, to be honest. I know trust has to be earned, and it can be given, but all it takes is, ONE to shatter everything. THANKS,peace
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 10:08 AM CST GET REAL
montemonte
montemontemontemonteunknown, New Jersey USA114 Threads 4 Polls 5,631 Posts
lankycrewman: I am looking and yes I have and was abused, by my ex and some scammers on dating sites. I am looking with my heart and mind. Key words makes me run, and delete them from my list. I guess I will always look, to share things. I do not have a lot, but the one thing I truly want to share is the future, not the past. This has been a way for me to vent it out and try to start over, forgetting the past. THANKS.


Crew, I definitely feel your pain. I was taken for almost a hundred thousand dollars by someone I loved very much. Like you, I was generous with my love, my money and my time.

The difference in you and me is that I won't take another chance on love because you cannot love if you don't initially trust and I have lost trust in mankind. I'm content to live out my years alone because I don't have the worry of someone stealing and using me again.

I whole heartedly give you credit for being open minded to take another chance on love.wine
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 10:20 AM CST GET REAL
montemonte: Crew, I definitely feel your pain. I was taken for almost a hundred thousand dollars by someone I loved very much. Like you, I was generous with my love, my money and my time.

The difference in you and me is that I won't take another chance on love because you cannot love if you don't initially trust and I have lost trust in mankind. I'm content to live out my years alone because I don't have the worry of someone stealing and using me again.

I whole heartedly give you credit for being open minded to take another chance on love.


THANKS, but by the time everything was done, all the bills paid, court, attorneys and automobiles, mine was in the same 6 figure area as yours. But I have had some help from my sister who was divorced for 12 yrs. She gave up on love, but now she is back in the game, and I cherish her. we have supported each other through both divorces. Been there when we needed each other, and I have respect for her.

I know I will never find a woman like her, but at least I am trying. I guess my stubborn self will not give up, My sign is Taurus, stubborn and hard headed, lol.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 10:42 AM CST GET REAL
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
lankycrewman: I know I will never find a woman like her,

Oh great.

So now anyone you meet will not only be measured against your ex who you assume she's going tobe as bad as, she'll also be measured against your sister who you assume she'll never be as good as. doh

Have you considered that you might not be terribly trustworthy yourself, in terms of treating others without prejudice and accepting them for who they are, rather than who you think they're going to be?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 11:01 AM CST GET REAL
jac379: Oh great.

So now anyone you meet will not only be measured against your ex who you assume she's going tobe as bad as, she'll also be measured against your sister who you assume she'll never be as good as.

Have you considered that you might not be terribly trustworthy yourself, in terms of treating others without prejudice and accepting them for who they are, rather than who you think they're going to be?


I have also thought about that, but if I can not trust myself then who can I trust. My sister, has been there, I trust her, to a certain point. and that is as far as it goes. She has her life and I have mine. We have a brother but he does not trust us, so we take care of mother alone with each others help. We have been a blessing to each other and we respect each other.

I am not saying that there is not one out there for me but at least, I am not giving up, yet.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aug 16, 2012 11:13 AM CST GET REAL
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
lankycrewman: I have also thought about that, but if I can not trust myself then who can I trust. My sister, has been there, I trust her, to a certain point. and that is as far as it goes. She has her life and I have mine. We have a brother but he does not trust us, so we take care of mother alone with each others help. We have been a blessing to each other and we respect each other.

I am not saying that there is not one out there for me but at least, I am not giving up, yet.

Ahaa...so your trust issues go back farther than your ex.

So, it might be possible you picked someone untrustworthy to share your life with because you were on familiar territory and it was less scary that spending your life with someone trustworthy - maybe you simply don't know how to deal with that, eh?

Because what you're doing with this this rant is identifying yourself as someone vulnerable to untrustworthy people and untrustworthy people won't mind copping your distrust, resentment and bitterness becuase they'll be on familiar territory, too.

Step off the moving stairs and try a different path...
------ This thread is Archived ------
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

This Thread is Archived

This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.

« Go back to All Threads
Message #318
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here