Problems with parents (2)
Poet231Bath, Pennsylvania USA3 Threads 2 Polls 11 PostsThis one is for adults who live with their parents. Do your parents control if you have friends or if you date? I'm 32 and I have lived with my parents all my life. My parents tell me I can't date and they aren't happy that I want social friends. I'm single and have a stable mental illness. We get into arguments daily about wanting to date and have friends. My mom tells me I WILL listen to her or I can get out. Unfortunately I can't move out because I don't know how to live on my own since I don't work and only have disability. Plus, I have no where to go. I literally have no friends. I'm stuck in a rut because I hate that I don't have friends to talk to on the phone or hang out with and that I can't date. Any suggestions on what to do? Do any of you have or had the same problem?
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Poet231: This one is for adults who live with their parents. Do your parents control if you have friends or if you date? I'm 32 and I have lived with my parents all my life. My parents tell me I can't date and they aren't happy that I want social friends. I'm single and have a stable mental illness. We get into arguments daily about wanting to date and have friends. My mom tells me I WILL listen to her or I can get out. Unfortunately I can't move out because I don't know how to live on my own since I don't work and only have disability. Plus, I have no where to go. I literally have no friends. I'm stuck in a rut because I hate that I don't have friends to talk to on the phone or hang out with and that I can't date. Any suggestions on what to do? Do any of you have or had the same problem?
This must be incredibly difficult for you Poem.
I wonder if your parents are so used to you being there, looking after your wants and needs as you have grown, that they have failed to realize that you are a grown man now?
This can happen in a situation where parents are the primary carers, they take that job very seriously and have spent many years looking after their offspring's welfare but because they are so closely involved, they don't notice that the person they care for is now an adult, with adult needs, wants and desires.
Your Mum might be afraid that she is going to lose you and that the loving care she has given you with the special bond that has come of that will come to an end.
I'm not saying this is a healthy view by any means, just a thought..
Do you have a case worker that you feel comfortable discussing this with? Maybe they can act as a kind of intermediary and help to open your parents eyes to where you are at right now..
Sorry, I may be way off the mark here but just thought I might help by offering a different perspective re your situation.
All the very best to you
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Created: Nov 2013
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